Stephanie grows up
by Feewiz
Summary: Stephanie learns to deal with the real world
1. Stephanie Grows Up

**Stephanie grows up**

Here I am, another Friday night, prowling through my empty cupboards again. Just like my life. Why can't I get a handle on things? I'm tired of this. Maybe it's time to make some decisions.

OK let's asses. Career? On the blink. For someone with a college education I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel career-wise; and I'm not very competent at even _that_. Personal life? Please. I'm still tethered to my mother for food and laundry and the occasional hug and reassurance. At my age? Pathetic. Let's see. Social life? Virtually non- existent. Love life? How do I even classify that? Ever since Dickie, its like things are spiralling out of control. I'm now caught between two men, who at the moment in terms of level of commitment aren't adding up to one good man. What about me? I'm not exactly a catch either. I'll make a terrible housewife or an incompetent employee or…the list goes on. This is depressing.

Ok, Time to deal with it.

I pick up the phone before I have enough time to chicken out and call Ranger.

"Babe."

"We need to talk."

"Is it urgent?"

"It's important."

"Can you come to RangeMan?"

"I don't have a car. Don't ask."

Couple beats of silence.

"I'll be there in half an hour."

I start pacing the apartment putting together in my head what to say to Ranger. I know I need an answer, but I don't know how I'd handle rejection. I guess this is how men feel; doesn't feel good. I try to distract myself with some TV. No luck. I sing: _The hills are alive, with the sound of music, _on the top of my lungs, but it occurs to me that Ranger might hear me and my next door neighbour might come and shoot me in the head just to shut me up. I'm falling apart by the minute; by the time Ranger gets here I'll bust a blood vessel, I'm so stressed. He'll probably be carrying me out on a stretcher. No wonder I've never had the guts to do this before.

The lock tumbles and my heart skips a beat. In walks Ranger.

"You look crazy Babe."

No kidding.

"What's up?"

"I need to know what's happening between us. I need an answer. I can't live like this. Do we have something or not? I need to make a decision."

He looks amused.

"That's what's had you so worked up?"

"You have no idea."

He laughs softly. He's as gorgeous as ever. That's the problem with Ranger, he's so darn _hot_.

"Welcome to my world," he says.

"You never look frazzled like me. You're always in control."

"We express our emotions differently."

Sure, under stress I have a brain aneurysm; he's as calm as the dead.  
"So," he says, "Have you talked to Morelli about this?"

"I came to you first."

That got a genuine, honest to gosh smile out of him.

"So how about it?" I ask, almost dancing with impatience, "Do we have something or not?"

"Babe, I was waiting on _you_."

I let out a huge sigh of relief, its like weight is off my shoulder. I feel dizzy from the adrenaline, I need to sit down. He sees me on the verge of collapse and puts his arms around me, kisses me lightly on the lips.

"The decision was always yours," He says.

"But you said you didn't want a relationship."

"Things have changed since then, I'm more stable now."

I'm ecstatic. Maybe now I can move on with my life, tackle some of the things I've been avoiding. I can lean on Ranger, I don't have to be alone. Just one problem: I have no idea how I'm going to break this to Morelli.


	2. Stephanie breaks it to Morelli

**Stephanie breaks it to Morelli**

"I can't believe you're choosing Ranger over me!" Morelli yells. "What's that about?"

"I can't be what you want me to be! I've seen that movie before, I married Dickie remember?"

"You're comparing me to Dickie?"

"He's scum, but I got a taste of that kind of life. Just like my mother; boring, no adventure, ironing my life away waiting for something to happen. I can't go down that road again, been there, done that."

"So how does Ranger fit? How is he better than me?"

"He respects my choices."

"He's a nut case!"

"Have you noticed _my_ life? I'm not that different, maybe we're two nuts in a pod."

"This is crazy! I can't believe I'm hearing this!" He yells, arms flailing.

"See!" I yell back, "this is my point! We can't even have a decent conversation, why are we yelling?"

He grabs my shirt, pulling me to him.

"I hear the best kind of sex is make up sex," he says throatily.

I slap his hand away.

"Morelli, when will you grow up? You can't solve _everything_ with sex! We've tried that already, we end up going in circles right back to where we started!"

"It won't last. You'll come running back to me again like always."

"Would you be there for me if I did?"

"Absolutely not."

The lock on the door tumbles and my heart stands still in my chest as I watch Ranger walk in.

"Babe," He says, looking directly at me.

His gaze shifts to Morelli, eyes dark and serious. He is standing legs apart, thumbs hooked into his gun belt on hips. He looks _huge_. Morelli stares back.

"You can't scare me with that gangsta shit," Morelli says, I deal with your type every day. You think you're any better than the street thugs I put behind bars? I've got the law on my side."

Ranger says nothing.

"Stephanie, I hope you know what you're doing, I can't protect you," Morelli warns.

"Do we have a problem?" Ranger asks.

They stare at each other, squaring off. Morelli looks over at me; I'm on the verge of collapse. If I don't start breathing soon, one more minute and I'll be legally brain dead.

"This isn't over," he says finally and walks out the door. I exhale with relief; Ranger is smiling at me.

"What was that about?" I ask, almost breathless, "Was he threatening you?"

"I can handle Morelli."

He walks over to me.

"I came to talk about living arrangements; do you want to move into RangeMan?"

"I'd rather stay here for a while. I might want to later, but we'll see."

I look over at Rex running on his wheel; I don't think he'd be comfortable moving just yet. He likes the apartment, it feels familiar and cosy, like home.

"What about Vinnie?"

"I want to stay part time. I'll work with RangeMan on an as needed basis."

Ranger is wearing his flirty half-smile. He hooks his fingers into the empty belt loops of my jeans and pulls me close. He brushes his lips against mine.

"You're _always_ needed."

He smells delicious; his kisses tasty like Boston cream puffs. He's right. It's more addictive than pastry.

We're getting hot and heavy when Ranger's phone rings. We let it ring but then my phone rings. When the machine picks up, it's Tank.

"There's a bunch of cops at RangeMan doing a raid," He says, "Morelli's with them."

"This is war," Rangers says calmly.


	3. Things heat up

RangeMan looks like it was hit by a tornado. As we open the glass door exiting the stairs, a puff of air sends a mound of lose papers airborne, hovering suspended in mid air, then drifting in slow motion to the ground, snowing on desks, chairs and the floor, blanketing everything in sight. Ranger stands, one hand on a hip, the other on the door, surveying the spectacle. It appears that the plan was to leave no file unturned; they probably took bets to see who could make the biggest mess. As if that wasn't enough, all employees on duty were carted off to the station for interrogation. Fortunately, no equipment seems to be destroyed. It's strange to see the office so empty.

Ranger picks his way though the papers on the floor, stopping to pick up and dust off his SEALS hat. Moments like these remind me of the things I admire about Ranger: his calm in the storm. If this was _my_ office, I'd be yelling and screaming and tugging out my hair. He's probably moved on in his head and already worked out his next move. That's what I'm afraid of.

"What do you think they were searching for?" I ask.

He looks at me like I am a very dim bulb.

"I can guess at the _motivation_," I defend myself, "but they must have gotten a warrant to search for _something_."

He doesn't respond, he's retreating into his zone. Soon, even _I_ can't reach him in that fog. The situation is not looking good.

"Cut Morelli some slack," I say, "I feel like this is kind of my fault."

I'm not sure if he just isn't listening or is intentionally zoning me out, but I can tell I'm not connecting.

I knock him on the arm; _ouch!_ Like hitting solid rock.

"Ranger!"

Nothing.

I dig deep and pull out the sternest voice I can muster.

"_Carlos!_"

That got his attention. His expression is a mixture of surprise, affection with a hint of amusement.

"You sound like my grandmother."

"What do you plan to do about Morelli? He's just upset; maybe he's not thinking straight."

"Morelli's not my biggest problem right now. Something feels off. He couldn't pull off all this by himself and so fast. Something else is going on here."

I was thinking the same thing.

"You and Morelli are OK then?"

He paused for a moment.

"I'll get back to him."

That doesn't sound good, I was hoping he'd let it go.

"So what now?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"Now we get the early shift back in place. RangeMan needs staff."

I leave Ranger to his thoughts, hoping that things are kind of stable between him and Morelli. At least for now. I get to work on some of the mess. My mother calls to find out why I haven't returned her calls about dinner and since I didn't make it tonight, what about tomorrow?

I decline and get her off the phone before she tries to wring my arm with some delectable dessert. I still haven't told her about Ranger and I getting together; I need time to get my bearings. Plus something weird is going on here and I plan to get to the bottom of it.

I go back to Ranger, still wondering what's really going on. He's on the phone calling the day shift back to work.

"Where's Ella?" I ask when he wraps up his last call.

"It's her weekend of."

"She gets weekends off?" I ask in disbelief. How does he manage for a whole weekend without Ella?

He's wearing an expression that's just about equal to an eye roll; I'm being a pain in the neck.

"Can you watch the monitors for a while? I'm going to the station."

"What do I do if something happens?"

"Call me."

_Duh._ What's with me? It must be most-obvious-question day at RangeMan.

With that, he's gone and I am alone in the building.

I sit in front of the security monitors and stare for a few minutes. It's mind - numbingly boring, so I decide to gather intel on the raid. I call Costanza.

There is no answer to his cell, so I try his home number. His wife answers on the third ring and yells for him to pick up.

"What the hell is going on?" I begin when he comes on the line, "Why a raid on RangeMan?"

There's a pause on the line.

"It's not Morelli's fault, the orders came from over his head."

"Who?" I ask. I'm still sceptical about the timing of the whole thing.

"We've got a new Police Chief and ever since he's got here he's been been gunning for Ranger. He's been chomping at the bit nonstop. Claims he's a lose cannon and plans to take him down, something about nobody being above the law and order in his jurisdiction. Nobody really believes that, it's like he's got a personal vendetta, he just wasn't getting the support in the department before. Morelli's the one that has been working the hardest to protect Ranger, until today. He stormed in, got some of the guys to go along and it was all systems go. Is it true you're with Ranger now? The guys are giving Morelli a hard time, his reputation's taken a beating. It's obvious he's not walking away from this one."

"What were they looking for?"

"Evidence."

"Of what?"

A couple seconds of silence.

"Maybe you should talk to Morelli about that."

_Yeah, right._ There must be another way.

"Hey, let go –" He says to someone.

A child starts crying in the background, scuffling sounds, shouting. The phone hits what must be the floor, more yelling. Finally he comes back on the line, hurried and out of breath.

"Look, I gotta go. Maybe you could babysit on Saturday?"

"I'll think about it."

**A couple hours later** most of the earlier shift has returned to work and it's all hands on deck to restore the office to its former glory by 8:00 am. Ranger has a series of meetings with potential clients planned, so cleanup is crucial. They start lifting papers, files, assorted bits and pieces and other miscellaneous objects littering the ground. It's going to be a hell of a job.

By 2:00 am I'm almost cross eyed, fighting sleep. I've had a big day, with all the breakup and new boyfriend and all. I get exited tingles just thinking about being with Ranger. He's back with his men and I look over at him doing his thing, he catches my ogling and his eyes soften a bit. He's gotten the late shift cleared and back at work. I trot over to him and catch the tail end of his conversation with Tank about what he'd learned while at the station. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and kisses me on the temple.

"Who's this new chief?" he asks Tank, "He looks familiar."

"John Garcia."

A look of recognition and uneasiness flashes across Ranger's face for a split second. I'd have totally missed it if I wasn't looking at him that moment. He's deep in thought.

"Do you know him?" Tank asks.

"No."

"So what's his deal?"

"I plan to find out."

It's really late when I drag myself into Ranger's shower to thoroughly luxuriate in the spa experience; it's a hard life but _somebody's_ got to live it. The water wakes me up a bit and I mentally run through what I've gathered so far, which is not much. Although Morelli supported the raid, he wasn't the main instigator behind it, this is clearly not only a Ranger - Morelli fight. There is something about this new Chief that Ranger knows that he's not saying. I finish my shower, towel off and head to Ranger's big, comfy, cloud of a bed, all alone.

**I wake up to light in my eyes**. Ranger is getting ready for his meetings in his dressing room. He looks over at me and catches me staring.

"I'd take you up on that look if I had the time," He says with his flirty smile. If I had the energy and maybe 50 more pounds of muscle, I'd try to wrestle him into bed.

"What time is it?"

"It's almost eight. Remember Ella isn't here so you'll have to fix yourself something. I need to talk to you after my meetings. What have you got planned for today?"

"No plans, no skips to chase."

"Can you help out in the office? We're short staffed after last night. Talk to Rodriguez, see if you can lighten his workload. We'll talk later about a job."

I struggle out of bed and get ready for a day of work, although it's a Saturday and I'm still tired after working late into the night. I stumble into the kitchen, get my caffeine fix, now I'm ready to face the day. I make the bed and straighten up a little with no Ella available to do the tidying up. This getting up early thing is part of the new persona I'm trying out; let's see how well it fits. I'm back in RangeMan black, I'm thinking I need to go home for some of my own clothes and to get Rex. But then again, maybe not. I might spend tomorrow at home being a Sunday and get a break from RangeMan. I ride the elevator downstairs to the office and relieve Rodriguez of some of his enormous pile of work.

At lunch time I take a break. There seems to be no end in sight to the work in this place. I head to the kitchen and see store bought sandwiches with no Ella around to take care of our munching needs. Boy, I really miss Ella. I toy with the idea of going out to buy something delicious and tasty, but then I remember I have Ranger and smile to myself. So, sue me, I'm still getting used to it. I hope we have some time together later. RangeMan is a 24 hour administrative centre; it can easily swallow up twenty solid hours out of twenty four, if I'm not careful. No wonder he's always so busy.

About 3:00 pm there is an abrupt dead silence on the floor as Ranger walks in, in a _foul_ mood. He's radiating a kind of irritation and barely contained aggressive energy like I've never seen in him before. No one on the floor wants to make eye contact and be in the path of his fury. He locks eyes with me.

"My office," He says.

I trot off to his office preparing for the worst. I close the door behind me and sit in a chair facing his desk. His face is unusually tight and shows some strain, abnormal for him; he has an intensity about him that confirms my suspicions that something big is going on. He rests back into the chair, hands lightly resting on the desk and studies me for a few seconds.

"Would you be interested in running RangeMan?" He asks.

My mind goes blank.

"What?"

"You would be in charge of the office and the administrative functions and Tank would be in charge of field operations."

Now my mind moves from zero to one thousand mph in one second. All sorts of scenarios and possibilities start tumbling around in my head.

"I'll train you, its not that difficult once you get used to it, just time consuming. I've got seasoned people."

"Are you planning to go somewhere?"

"I've got some issues to straighten out, I might not be available for a while."

"What the hell is going on? Does it have something to do with the raid?"

He gives a small sigh.

"I need to separate myself from RangeMan for a while, it needs to be able to function without me and I need your help."

"Do you seriously think I could manage RangeMan?"

"Yes."

"Where are you going?"

"Not sure yet."

"I need to know what's going on! How am I supposed to help you if I don't understand what's happening?"

"Think about it and let me know what you decide."

He's done talking.

A call comes in from Tank. He listens, his face showing nothing.

"Ok," he says and disconnects.

"My men just got picked up by the police, we can talk later."

Talk about what? He isn't telling me anything. I decide I'll have to find out for myself.

I get back to work but I can't focus. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to be with Ranger, but this is ridiculous. It's been less than twenty four hours since we've been officially together and it's like he's already making tracks. Plus I'm getting nervous, I don't like the secrecy. Is he involved in something I should know about? Normally I'd call Morelli, but under the circumstances that's not even an option. He's already made it clear I'm on my own. Still, my curiosity and concern is getting the better of me. Is Ranger trying to protect me from something? He doesn't seem at all concerned about my safety; he wouldn't offer me a job if he was. Run RangeMan? What's that about? Yet I can't say I'm not tempted. But he looks like he's getting ready to disappear for some reason; I feel a stab of fear. Am I about to lose him?

After 5:00 pm Ranger finally returns with his Merry men. I corner Tank to find out what happened, he explains that they were on the verge of nabbing a skip when the police arrived.

"They had us under surveillance, as we moved in on the skip, they blew our cover. It's like it was planned."

"They want to bring RangeMan to its knees," I comment.

"We can't operate with this level of harassment, it's not good for business."

I must get more info. What're the cops up to?

I call Tony.

"What's with the harassment of RangeMan?" I ask him.

He's not clear on what's going on, but its no secret that the Chief plans to take Ranger down.

"I've never seen anything like it! It like he's put everything on hold to get Ranger, no other case is as important."

"Case? What case?"

"I can't comment on an ongoing investigation."

The thing I can't make head or tails of is Ranger's reaction. I'm getting mixed signals from him and I don't know what to make of them. One minute, he's preparing to leave, but then it seems like he's in no rush; he seems to think he has enough time to train me. Then he's submitting to the police harassment almost without so much as a whimper. What does this guy have on him anyway? What is he being investigated for?

I dial Connie. She says according to grapevine the Chief's after Ranger for some reason, she wasn't sure why. Not much help there.

At about six I call it a day and head to Ranger's apartment. I'm on my way to the shower when I hear his keys in the tray. Ranger looks exhausted when he enters the room, almost beaten.

"I've had one hell of a day," He says in response to my questioning look.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Later."

"I was about to take a shower."

"Sounds like a great idea."

He pins me to the wall, leans into me and kisses me. I've been looking forward to this for so long.

"I thought you were tired."

"I'm stirring now."

"I can tell."

"About that shower…"

It can be a really great thing for a woman when she's with a muscular and physically powerful man like Ranger. There are whole long lists of positions that would normally be impossible; hell, I've never actually given it much thought before, how do you just sit down and think impossible stuff up? But they would be easy for Ranger. Now here we are in the shower with me thinking up all sorts of exciting things I'd like to try. After I gladly almost ripped his clothes off his body and slithered out of mine, we'd tumbled into the shower. The smells, the hot water cascading over our bodies, the whole thing is just so captivating I feel absolutely exhilarated. He has me effortlessly hoisted against the shower wall, my legs wrapped around him; its feeling so good I want to scream. I can't seem to get enough of him, it's all so _intense_. Several impossible positions later I'm so high I can barely breathe; then it happened. My body contracts with a force I've never felt before and I'm suddenly floating under a waterfall in the tropics; for a brief moment I'm all pleasure I'm suspended in space and time.

I crumple helplessly into his arms and he wraps me in a towel and carries me into the bedroom placing me on the bed. When my brain finally kicks back in I decide its official, there's no question about it, I'm totally addicted to Ranger. He gently dries me off with the towel. That's something else about Ranger, when it comes to making love he's never in a rush, he takes his time and pulls out all the stops. He's an _excellent_ lover.

I'm laying beside him almost catatonic when he leans over and strokes back my wet hair from my face. His eyes are soft and affectionate, there's a kind of gentleness and vulnerability to him I've never seen before. It feels kind of strange, I'm used to seeing him so hard and tough all the time, I don't know this side of him. But I like it. I can see he's trying to say something; I decide to keep my mouth shut for once and let him say it in his own time. He rolls over onto his back, his eyes closed.

"Steph," He begins, "remember when I said that there are some things you don't want to know about me? I think this is one of them."


	4. How deep the rabbit hole goes

**Stephanie finds out how deep the rabbit hole goes**

"What are you talking about? I ask Ranger. "Is this related to your deep dark secret?"

"I did things in the past I'm not proud of. I guess this one's caught up with me."

"Maybe it would help if you tell me about it."

"In time. For now, expect a lot of harassment on RangeMan."

"Does the Chief have a personal beef with you?"

"Apparently."

At least we're getting somewhere. Sometimes I wish he would just tell me what's on his mind, it's so darn irritating being kept in the dark. I guess that's part of being with Ranger, he's not exactly the world's greatest communicator; but then, even Morelli kept things from me all the time. I guess I trust him to tell me if I'm at risk in some way. For now, as annoying as it is, I'll give him his space. I'll just find out on my own.

"So what do you plan to do about it?"

"There's nothing I can do at the moment, he's made up his mind. My focus right now is to protect all the other people that are not involved in this including you. You're not in danger in any way so don't worry about it. It's my problem and I have to deal with it."

"Are you planning to leave?"

"I figure I'll be around for a while; I'm just not sure how this will end. I need to prepare for all possibilities."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Help keep the staff focussed. There are going to be a lot of distractions, but we can get though it. We need to ensure that RangeMan still exists on the other side of this."

"I don't know the first thing about running a company."

"You'll do fine."

It suddenly occurs to me that it's the first time I can remember anyone expressing that level of confidence in me. It actually feels pretty good.

"So I take it that you're at least thinking about it," he says.

"The truth is that I'm scared stiff."

"When I'm done training you, you'll be a pro."

I snuggle up to him and put my head on his broad chest. I feel his arms wrap around me and he lightly strokes my hair. I feel so safe and warm and snug, if only for this moment, all is right with the world; nothing can touch us. It'll be ok somehow, we'll figure it out.

I wake up and I open my eyes and it's Sunday morning. The sun is out in all its glory calling to me; there is no way I'm spending the day at RangeMan. In fact, I don't even want to hear anything about RangeMan today, I'm officially declaring this Stephanie Day. Ranger is already up and I smell breakfast. I'm feeling pretty good even though I haven't had my coffee yet; I take that as a good sign. I rush to the bathroom, take a quick shower and join him for breakfast.

"Is Ella back?" I ask.

"She'll be back tomorrow."

"So where did all this come from?"

There were vegetable omelettes, whole grain toast, fruit and coffee on the granite countertop.

"I'm not totally helpless, I _was_ in the army," he reminds me.

Great. Even a tough guy like Ranger is more domesticated than I am. I've got to do something about my kitchen skills.

He gives me a toe curling kiss. My Ranger addiction is kicking in, any more like that and I will end up spending the day in his apartment. I can't let that happen, I desperately need a break from RangeMan.

"Yum," I say, "I'm sure breakfast is good, but it can't compete with _that_."

He smiles.

"So what's up for today?" He asks.

"I'm going home."

"Why?"

"No offence, but I could use a break from here."

"None taken. Do you want to go home, or do you just want to get out?"

"Whenever I'm here, I feel like I'm at work."

"I can identify. I'll take you wherever you want to go today, just not to the Mall."

"I was thinking it's a great day outside. I think Point Pleasant will do it for me. We could pack a picnic –"

"No picnic."

"Ok, whatever. But I need to stop at home for my stuff and to check on Rex."

When we get home I check my messages and my full inbox. My mother asking about dinner, Grandma Mazur asking for a lift to a viewing, Connie with information on a skip, Lula wanting to know if I've fallen off the face of the earth and Morelli. The last one gets my attention, I'm not aware that we are still on speaking terms. "Call me," is all he says. I'll talk to him later. Ranger's not happy about the last message and doesn't hide it, but he doesn't say anything.

"How am I supposed to give Grandma Mazur a lift and I don't even have a car," I mumble, changing the subject.

"The job offer comes with an Explorer," Ranger says, "and a substantial salary increase."

Hmm. It's sounding more attractive by the minute. I could get a better place, I'd be in an office off the streets and safer than I am now. Yet somehow I'm not exited about being cooped up in the building, I'd probably go nutty in a week, it's already getting to me.

"Will I get to be on the road sometimes?" I ask.

"More than likely, when it becomes necessary."

I'm still not sure. I need to know what I'm getting into, too many weird things are going on. Then a thought occurs to me. It's against my better judgement, I promised myself not to talk about RangeMan today, but I have to ask.

"I haven't heard anything more about the raid, I take it they didn't find anything?"

"Remember the cops have used RangeMan as a safe house before, I don't leave things lying around for people to find."

"And they didn't search your apartment."

"The warrant didn't cover that, though I suppose they'll get to it in time."

"Sounds like you expect things to get worse."

"We'll see."

I clean Rex's cage and give him some fresh water, I've been a bad hamster mom, so I try to make it up to him with some extra grapes. I leave Ranger in the living room watching TV and hurry to my room to pack sun block, a swimsuit and other miscellaneous items in a tote, change my clothes and I'm out the door. We can't leave fast enough, I so badly need a break. Later I'll decide if I'm coming back home or staying with Ranger as I need to squeeze in some time to talk to Morelli about what's going on.

We get to Point Pleasant, but we're heading in a different direction.  
"We're we going?" I ask.

"Fishing. I've got a friend who owns a boat here."

We head to a dock where a fishing boat is waiting. I really don't know much about boats so I don't know what to expect. I later learn that it's a 50 footer with two decks, a captain and a very friendly crew of three; the upper deck has the cockpit and navigation area, the lower walk around deck allows us to get around the entire boat. The crew is used to taking out six to ten people at a time, so they are a little surprised to see just two of us. The captain ushers us inside to a plush lounge area with a large sectional leather sofa, an expandable dining table set in a booth which when folded out can accommodate at least ten. The table is currently laid out with nuts, sandwiches, fruit and juice. The lounge area opens out into a fully functional kitchen with stainless steel appliances and like its neighbour is covered with wood panelling and chrome accents. I've often I'd seen these boats but never wondered what it was like to be on one. It's actually pretty luxurious. He takes us on a tour below deck which has two beautiful cabins; a master with master bath, and a smaller guest cabin with a tiny bath. The furniture and amenities look far better than my apartment; recessed lighting, plasma television, expensive bedding. He tells us to make ourselves comfortable; the boat is ours for the day. As we change into swimwear, I wonder what it would be like to get away.

"Maybe we should just take off for the Caribbean," I suggest to Ranger, "They've already got everything here. Do you think they'll miss us at RangeMan?"

"They will when it's time to collect their checks. Speaking of the Caribbean, one of these days I'll take you to Cuba so you can see what a real beach looks like."

We head back up to the main area.

"So, interested in fishing?" He asks.

"I think I'll pass, I'm behind on my tan."

"Babe, you can't come all the way out here and not fish."

"Maybe later."

We have lunch while heading out into the open water. We sit in silence enjoying the trip; I'm tuning in to the wind whipping through my hair, the feeling of freedom. I just wish we were heading somewhere far away from home; I so desperately want to get away for a while. Maybe never come back. I lean against him and he holds me in a hug. After about half an hour, the boat slows, then stops. We are far from land in the middle of the ocean, I can't even see the shore. We head to the rear of the boat- the stern as they call it- to an open area where there are deck chairs and fishing equipment. Ranger gets to work on his bait and tackle as I lay my towel out for my tan. There is a lot of space as it's just the two of us. Ranger is really relaxed and happy enjoying himself, that's not something I see often. I like seeing him in that mood, It'd be nice to see more of it. Were driving around, looking for a school of fish. I relax on my towel, soaking in the sun. I motion him over to apply my sun tan lotion. The combination of the sun on my skin, Ranger massaging the sun tan oil into my back, is bliss. _This is living._

In my dream I'm baking in an oven and some one is trying to turn me over. I wake with a start to find Ranger crouched over me.

"Babe, I think you're just about ready on this side," he says poking me, testing me for doneness.

"Are you trying to compete with my complexion? Not dark enough?" He asks, smiling.

"Funny. Caught anything yet?"

"Not a fish in sight. Not good news, considering what we catch is dinner."

"You might want to start thinking about alternate plans."

Just then there is a shout, a lot of activity and men scampering about.

"Finally," Ranger says. "Are you sure you don't want to try to catch something?"

I get caught up in the general excitement and decide to give it a shot. I have no clue what I'm doing, but hey, I'm all for enjoying new experiences on Stephanie Day. He gives me a rod and I toss the line over board. Two fishes later, caught by Ranger I'm beginning to get discouraged, why isn't anything biting _my_ line? I'm a little nauseous anyway, I must be getting seasick. I'm about to give up when I feel a tug. The excitement returns and I try to reel it in, but it's really heavy, bigger than I expected. I'm pulling with all my might when I slip on something greasy and I'm flat on my ass, being dragged along on the fibreglass deck by the fish. I brace my foot against the side of the boat to stop myself from slipping any further and hang on to the rod with all my might. I try to get up, but I need both hands for the rod. The fish suddenly decides to try to get away by swimming to the other side of the boat, dragging me in its wake, I'm hanging on to the rod for dear life.

"Ok, if it's a war you want," I yell to the fish, "then it's a war you're going to get!"

There's no way some damn fish is going to get the better of me, even if it means I have to dive in the water and clobber it to death, I'm getting it into the boat. I'm still struggling to get control without much success when Ranger reaches out and takes my rod with one hand and pulls me to my feet with the other. He easily reels it in, leaving me thoroughly embarrassed. It's a decent sized fish, about as long as my arm. The guys are laughing their asses off.

"We have an appointment at the gym seven tomorrow morning," he says.

"I slipped!" I say in my defence.

I reached down and picked up the remnants of my squashed sun tan lotion tube as evidence.

"See! Plus I'm not feeling well, I think I'm a little seasick."

"Babe, I doubt this fish weighs more than ten pounds."

He's right. What's the use, I'm pathetic. Maybe I do need to work out. Stupid fish. I'm going to take great pleasure in eating him. I hope there's tarter sauce.

This is supposed to be a relaxing stress free day, but somehow I end up feeling like I do when I totally bomb with a skip. I'm trying to do better, turn over a new leaf, but it's just not working. How am I supposed to run RangeMan if I'm so darn…useless?

I'm about to stamp off in frustration and head below deck, when a member of the crew explains what happened.

"Don't feel so bad," He says, "it's a Bonito. Pound for pound it's probably the strongest fighting fish in the ocean."

That's a relief. I still feel like a failure.

When I get to the cabin I take a shower and flop down in the bed, looking around. I'm thinking this really is a nice place, I wish my room looked this good. Whatever Ranger does, he does in style.

He walks in and sits beside me on the bed, studying me for a bit.

"Maybe fishing just isn't your thing."

"What _is_ my thing? I don't seem to be good at anything!"

"You'll do great in the office."

"What makes you think that?"

"I've seen you work."

I'm not convinced. I turn over on my stomach in a huff, my head on my hands.

"Babe, aren't you forgetting something?"

What now?

"Look in the mirror."

I pad over to the mirror.

"What?"

"Turn around."

My tan! I'd forgotten about it. I'm half baked, I've only done one side. Great. I'm out of sun tan lotion, it's spread out all over the deck upstairs when I slipped on it. This is turning out to be one hell of a day. I put my swimsuit back on and head up to finish my tan. After about five minutes, clouds roll in. It's now overcast and grey, even the weather is conspiring against me. I give up. I'm still pale at the front and extra dark on the backside. If I'd bought chicken that was half cooked like me, I'd throw it in the bin.

By the time I get back to Ranger, I'm completely miserable. He's lying on the bed, freshly showered, legs crossed at the ankles and hands behind his head watching TV.

"Back so soon?"

"It got overcast."

"Come here, let me cheer you up."

When we wake up a couple hours later, I'm starving. We head upstairs for dinner. The table is set with candles, flowers and wine on white tablecloth; it looks like a high end restaurant. I'm impressed. Ranger and I exchange glances; he looks just as surprised as I am.

"This looks great," I tell our server.

"Are you ready for dinner?" He asks.

"Famished."

He returns with a platter of fish, shrimp and assorted seafood, another platter of steamed vegetables and _yippee!_ Dessert. My day has finally picked up. Ranger is sitting in front of a mountain of food, he'll probably have to climb to the top and eat his way down.

"Do you need a ladder for that?" I ask.

"You should talk; I saw how you were eyeing dessert."

We eat in silence for a bit, it feels very romantic. It's already getting dark and as I look at Ranger by the light of the candles, I think of how lucky I am. He looks dark and mysterious and very sexy.

"What?" He asks, amused.

"I was just thinking how nice this is. Thanks for today, I really needed it." Except for the embarrassing fishing part.

"There's a lot more where that came from."

"Sounds promising."

When we're all packed and ready, I'm thinking I should probably spend the night at home. I would give me a chance to catch up on my calls and talk to Morelli.

"I think I'm going to stay home tonight," I say to Ranger on the ride home, "I'll come to RangeMan in the morning."

"Remember we have a date at seven."

_Yeah, right._ Even more reason to stay home. He's quiet for a while, thinking. He turns on the radio and we drive in silence as I feel my eyes getting heavy. I must be _really_ tired. I can't believe how much I'm sleeping.

When I open my eyes, were sitting in the parking lot at my building.

"I'm going to stay here with you tonight," Ranger says.

"What? Why?"

"Why not? Have a problem with that?"

"No."

He doesn't want me to talk to Morelli. Well, there's always tomorrow.

Monday morning I wake up in a good mood and energized. I've gotten a lot of rest and it's great to have finally had some quality time with Ranger, its beginning to feel like we're really a couple. Morelli wouldn't have done what Ranger pulled off, he's just not that type of guy. The more I get to know Ranger, the more I see that I like. Things seem to be finally going my way. Ranger seems to feel the energy too, he looks rested and revived. I fought him on the gym thing; I wasn't in the mood. He eventually gave up and went on his own. I've got to wear long sleeves and jeans today to hide my tanning fiasco.

"You start your training today," he says at breakfast, "We have a series of meetings scheduled for this morning to get you up to speed on what's going on at RangeMan."

"I haven't accepted the job offer," I remind him.

"This is going to be a tough week; we have a heavy schedule and I'm going out of town. I need to start handing over responsibilities, it's either going to be you or someone else."

In the meetings, I'm beginning to get a feel for RangeMan; Ranger wasn't kidding, security is big business. The potential is huge. I notice something is different about him today; he has a higher level of intensity, a kind of military precision. Everything is going like clockwork and we're getting a lot done.

When I get a break, I call Morelli. I agree to meet up with him at my apartment as I need to find out what's going on with Ranger before I commit to the job.

"How're things?" he asks when he walks in.

"Good. How about you?"

"Bob misses you."

"I'm sure he does. Are you sure it's not just Mr. Happy that misses me the most?" I ask, glancing at his crotch. "Remember, I haven't changed. I still can't cook; I'm still not house wife material."

"Don't even go there. I don't know what you see in that nut. Maybe it's the money."

"You wanted to see me in person? What've you got?"

He took a breath.

"You need to leave RangeMan and get as far away from Ranger as you can. He's in deep trouble this time; he's not walking away from this one."

"What's going on? Isn't it a personal issue between him and the Chief?"

"It's way bigger than that. He's going down in flames and you'd better get away from him if you down want to be dragged down with him. You should have known better than to get too involved with that guy. Go on a vacation or something. Get out of town."

"What's he being investigated for?"

He looks uncomfortable. He wants to say something, but he's not sure. I can't imagine him not wanting to tell me something bad about Ranger, it just doesn't make any sense.

"I can't tell you. In any case, you don't want to know. Take my advice, cut your losses and take off."

"He's offered me a good job, I want to know so I can make a decision. Nobody seems to want to say anything. Constanza told me to ask _you_."

"You don't get it, there might be _no RangeMan_ for you to work for. The entire company is tied up in his reputation and if he goes down, it'll go down with him."

I guess that's why Ranger wants to distance himself and me to take over.

He lets out a heavy sigh.

"Look, it's complicated. I gotta go." He gets up to leave.

"I understand your falling for the flashy lifestyle," He continues, "so I forgive you. If you want to come back to me, you know where to find me. I'll try to protect you as much as I can."

_What?_ I open my mouth to respond, but I just can't find the words.

"You _forgive_ me?" I yell.

He walks out, closing the door behind him.

I'm now way beyond frustrated and totally lost. Nothing is making much sense. Ranger's clearly in trouble, but I can't seem to get a straight answer as to _why_.

As the week rolls on, I'm completely overwhelmed. Ranger is piling work on at a rapid pace and there's no letup on the police harassment. RangeMan has officially lost one large account, other clients are getting nervous; word is out that he's under investigation. I'm no closer to finding out what going on, no one wants to tell me. The stress is really getting to me; I don't know how much more I can take.

Connie calls wanting to know if I've given up working with them. I don't know what to tell her; I haven't made a decision. Lula calls later wanting my help with a skip. I tell her I just don't have the time. She's not happy, but that's life. I have way bigger problems right now.

Ranger is out of town and I'm on my own. The pressure has really gotten intense; I still don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I keep going because I'm afraid that if I stop I'm just going to run away and don't look back. I'm getting tension headaches and always anxious. Ranger couldn't have picked a worse time to leave.

On Friday, I decide I've had enough. Who the hell is this Chief anyway to think that he can control our lives like this? We're fighting to keep accounts when we should be getting new ones. I storm out of Ranger's office, ride the elevator to the garage, jump in the Explorer and race to the station.

I storm into the chief's office, demanding an answer.

"What's going on and why are you harassing RangeMan?" I ask him.

"So _you're_ Stephanie Plum."

"Yes, and?"

"He hasn't told you. I don't blame him. I'd be ashamed too, if I did what he did."

"What could possibly justify what your doing? These are people's livelihoods you're playing around with, people's jobs."

"I'm going to tell you a little story and you tell me what _you_ think. Years ago I knew a guy named Carlos Manoso. I met him through my brother who couldn't stop talking about him. He thought he was the coolest and smartest person he'd ever met and he wanted to be like him. I didn't trust him one bit especially because of the crowd he used to hang out with. When he went to college, the adulation turned to worship. We didn't know a lot of people who went to college, hell, we didn't know _anybody_ who did. It was a very big deal. Carlos could do no wrong. I tried to warn my brother to stay away from him but he just blocked me out.

One day I get a call from my brother in jail. He'd followed Carlos and got involved in some shady deal that went bad. Being a cop, I pulled every string I could to get him out; I hired a lawyer even though I couldn't really afford it. But I couldn't help him, nobody could; he'd been caught red-handed. My brother was right about one thing; Carlos was _smart_. He'd set up everything so he wasn't at risk. My brother was naïve and trusting, so even though other guys were involved, he was the only one that they actually held on to. What did Carlos do? Not only did he abandon him, but he threatened - no _promised_ that if he mentioned his name at trial, he was going to pay someone in jail to kill him, he wouldn't live to see the next morning. So he didn't have a choice, he took the fall; he testified that it was all his idea and got six years. He wasn't tough like Carlos and his buddies, they descended on him in prison. Without Carlos there to protect him, he was beaten to within an inch of his life, he was stabbed. I don't even want to talk about some of the things that happened to him in that hell-hole. He lost six years of his life serving time for Carlos, who just happily walked away and went on to live his life. He left prison a broken man."

He rises out of his chair, violent anger in his eyes, veins standing up in his neck. He pounds a fist on the desk.

"He destroyed my brother's life and I plan to return the favour," he shouts, "I am going to _nail him to the wall _with the Abruzzi murder. As long as there is a breath left in my body, Carlos Manoso _is_ _going to_ _prison_."

My mouth drops open. I can already feel the tears stinging my eyes. The sheer horror of the situation hits me like a freight train. No wonder nobody wanted to tell me. Ranger is going to prison for trying to protect _me_ from Abruzzi.


	5. She learns to deal with reality

**Stephanie learns to deal with the real world**

I've totally lost it. I've no idea how I made it from the station to my apartment, I remember almost running out of Garcia's office stunned, struggling to see through the tears; I vaguely remember driving out of the lot. The donuts I'd inhaled on the way home are on their way back out; I stumble into the bathroom, lean over the bowl and hurl. I'm sick, crying, shaking and in the throes of a panic attack, gasping for breath. I've had some pretty low points in my life, but this has got to be the lowest, hands down. How could I let this happen? I was just skipping along through my life oblivious, depending on Ranger to protect me and not thinking about the danger I was putting _him_ in. What was I thinking?

I crawl out of the bathroom into my bed with the little energy I have left, curling into a ball under the covers. I've been under so much stress lately, I think I've finally hit my limit. As if that isn't enough, just I am getting close to Ranger I'm going to lose him and it's all _my_ fault.

I'm drifting off to sleep when I feel movement on the bed; I open my eyes to Ranger. If I look half as bad as I feel I must be a scary sight, I'm sure my eyes are puffy and red and my hair wild. He's sitting on the bed, leaning forward, elbows on knees, head hanging low.

"I don't think I had a good night's sleep for six years," He begins.

I'm far too drained to respond.

"It was over ten years ago, I was a different person then. It's the reason I left college and joined the army, in a way I guess I was trying to do penance."

"I'm taking up your job offer," I manage to croak, my voice is almost gone from the crying. "I'll help with RangeMan. There's no way I'm going to sit here and let Garcia destroy it."

"You're sure about that?"

I nod.

He gets in beside me and holds me close, I bury my face in his chest. I'm now totally committed. Life is like that. What he did was not great, but who am _I _to judge? I'm doing the same thing to _him_. It's funny how easy it is to start on a path and like quicksand, before you realise it you're in neck deep. I guess that's exactly what had happened to Ranger. One thing for sure, we're in this together.

On Saturday I wake up feeling better. I decide I'm changing everything. I'm going to be stronger, more responsible. At breakfast I tell him about my big plans.  
"I want to be strong and quick like you," I say, "I'll work out at the gym, whatever, I want you to train me. I'm going to be a mini Ranger."

"Babe, you don't want to be like me."

"Why not? I'm tired of being kicked around. It's about time I took control. I wanna kick ass!"

"There are other ways to get what you're looking for."

"Like what? You seem to be in control all the time."

"And I've paid a high price."

A wave of guilt hits me. I'm hoping he isn't talking about the situation I've put him in. I guess I won't know for sure because I don't have the guts to ask.

"It takes years of military training to be able to do what I do. And it's not easy. I've seen and done things…" he trails off, deep in thought.

"Anyway, what you really want is to be a better version of yourself. You're fine the way you are, that's what I love about you."

"You don't think I'm a walking disaster?"

"I think you're too hard on yourself."

Later I decide to visit Vinnie's office to turn in my resignation. Connie looks up startled,

"Well, if it isn't the luckiest woman in the world! I was beginning to wonder if we'd ever see you again," She says.

"Who's that, Stephanie?" Vinnie asks from his inner office. He pokes his head out the door.

"Do I hear correctly? You and Ranger hooked up?"

"Yes."

He steps out of the office grinning and rocks back on his heels, hands in his pockets.

"Maybe some of his skills will rub off on you. I've got a pile of skips waiting –"

"That's what I'm here about," I interrupt, "I'm resigning. I'm working for RangeMan full time."

"Who's supposed to take over your workload? I've got a business to run for Chrissake!"

"Lula, or even Joyce. I'm in the office full time; I don't have enough time to be on the road chasing skips."

"Ranger can't do this! He can't just come in and take away a member of my staff. You have work to do for me, lose ends to tie up. You owe me, I gave you a job when you needed one, plus we're family. Ranger will just have to share you until I can find someone else to replace you."

"What about me?" Lula asks storming in.

"You can't replace Stephanie."

"The hell I can't! I got on the job training, I got the skills!"

Vinnie retreats to his office and slams the door.

She turns her attention to me.

"So, what's it like being with Ranger? Do you really work for a salary or do you just get…benefits?"

Boisterous laughter from her and Connie.

"I'd take them benefits any day over money," she continues, "That man is so hot –"

"Hey, get your mind off, he's mine now," I protest.

"Did you find out what he's under investigation for?" Connie asks.

"I'm sure it's just some trumped up charge," I lie, "nothing to worry about."

"So what's he like in bed?" Lula asks, getting back to the more pressing question.

"Amazing."

They both fan themselves, Connie fakes a swoon.

My cell rings.

"Babe, what are you doing at Vinnie?"

"Resigning. He's not happy that you've taken me away."

He laughs softly.

"He's not the only one. Remember we have an appointment here, you're running late."

"Omigod, I forgot! I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Gotta go guys, duty calls," I say to Lula and Connie.

"Is that _your _Explorer parked outside?" Lula asks.

"It comes with the new job."

"Vinnie can't compete with that!" Lula laughs.

"The best part is that I have no skips to blow it up. Plus it's extra safe at RangeMan."

"Remember you have work to do for me!" Vinnie yells from his office. RangeMan or no RangeMan, I want those skips brought in!"

On Sunday I finally give in to the arm twisting and agree to have dinner with my family. Ranger and I are at my apartment and I'm trying to get him to go, but it's turning out to be a hard sell.

"Babe, let it go. _Nothing_ can get me to go. Wild horses, all the King's men –"

"How about sexual favors?"

That always worked with Morelli.

"We don't trade like that. Either I'm going or I'm not and I've decided that I'm not. But since we're on the subject, we could discuss what those favors would have been if we _were_ trading…"

I knock him on the arm.

"The entire burg knows we're together and I think it's proper that we go see my family. They already know you; it's not like they're meeting you for the first time. You're supposed to be such a tough guy, are you afraid of my little family?"

"I'm not going."

"It's just a few hours, it won't kill you. I'm sure you've been through worse in the army."

I'm thinking it's sad that I have to be comparing dinner with my family with preparing for war. We're a dysfunctional bunch.

I straddle him on the sofa and bury my face into his neck.

"Pretty _please_…" I beg.

He gives a small sigh.

"How important is this to you?"

"Very."

"Why?"

"I don't know, it just is."

"OK. _One hour_."

"Dinner's at six."

It takes me less than five minutes at the dinner table to realise that coming was a mistake. My mother is stressed about the meat balls being over cooked and is fussing non stop about it, Grandma Mazur can't wait to dig into me and Ranger. My father sits staring blankly as usual trying to zone everybody out.

"So you're working with Ranger now," Grandma asks.

"Yes."

"Bounty hunting? What about Vinnie?"

"I run the office at his security company downtown. I resigned from Vinnie."

"Do you need help? I always wanted to work in security, shoot the bad guys."

"We're fine. We have all the personnel we need."

"I heard you and Morelli had a big fight over Stephanie and you threatened to kill him," She says to Ranger.

He looks up at her, but doesn't respond.

"Aren't you afraid she'll blow up your office? She's always destroying something."

Before he can say anything, my mother interrupts.

"I think the more important question is _when_ you are two getting married?"

"We're not getting married," I answer, annoyed.

"Do you live together? How long are you planning to continue living in sin?"

"I still live alone at my apartment." At least on weekends.

Then she starts.

"Why does it have to be _my_ daughter that everybody gossips about?"

And then it begins. She rants on an on about other people's daughters who lead upstanding lives with perfect families. As I listen to her, it occurs to me that _this_ is part of my problem. I've never cut the umbilical cord and now I have to justify everything I do. It's getting a little old.

"Is it true that you kill people?" Grandma asks Ranger.

My mother gasps and takes a gulp of wine. A grunt of disbelief escapes from my father.

"I _was_ in the army," Ranger replies.

Good answer.

I'm _so_ ready to leave; I've had enough of the inquisition. I just don't want to march out so quickly, it would be rude. Plus there's dessert. Ranger is unflappable as usual; nothing seems to bother him. He actually seems slightly amused. I lean over to him.

"I'm glad you find this funny," I whisper.

"_You_ insisted. It's your party."

At exactly seven Ranger's cell rings. He listens intently, his face not showing anything.

"Understood," He says and disconnects.

He apologizes, but he has to go he informs everyone at the table. I rise to leave with him because as far as I'm concerned, we can't leave fast enough. I won't be doing this again anytime soon.

"What about dessert?" My mother asks.

"I'll take it to go."

She wraps it up for me. When we're finally outside I ask Ranger what's going on.

"That was Tank. He was my extraction plan. We agreed to one hour remember?"

"So you had him call you to give you an out?"

He smiles. "It looks like you needed it more than me."

"It was a good idea."

On Monday Ranger has the team together in the office for a brief meeting. He explains my new role in RangeMan as head of administration and sales and that Tank will be in charge of field operations, handling the team on the road. I feel like a deer caught in the headlights; multiple pairs of eyes stare at me, clearly unimpressed. Its tough moving from a punch line to the boss. I haven't a clue what I'm going to do get their respect. I barely stifle a sigh.

As the days pass I'm having a hard time with the men. No one listens to what I say and when I give them instructions they look to Tank or Ranger for tacit agreement before they move. I can't seem to get them to do _anything._ At this rate I'm going to be a total failure at the job, I won't be able to get anything done. I'm responsible for bringing in revenue and so far nothing is happening. The only person I'm not having a problem with is Rodriguez. He seems to be more or less on board.

I've finally had enough on Wednesday when Tank again comes back from the road with his men, empty handed.

"It's the cops," Hal complains.

"So? Why are you standing around staring?" I yell, "Get back out there!"

I feel Ranger's hand in the small of my back. He guides me into his office, closing the door behind him.

"Babe, you may want to dial it down a notch."

"I thought you were going to _train_ me. It feels like you threw me in the deep end and left me to thrash around by myself."

"We're a little short on time."

"You're men don't respect me."

"Respect is earned. Give them some time, they'll come around. And they're _your_ men now."

I don't think he's fully grasping the depth of my problem.

"I think I'm in way over my head."

"When I started, it wasn't easy for me either, but you get used to it. Be patient."

"But I don't have the skills _you_ have."

"You have other skills. Give yourself a chance to figure them out, stop beating up on yourself all the time."

"Not long ago, you told me that I was a line item in your budget under entertainment. Remember that? That's how these guys see me. They think I'm an idiot."

"Look, I won't lie to you. You're not great at fieldwork. But you're good in the office, you have great intuition and you're good with people. Those are the skills RangeMan needs right now. Focus on that. Stop worrying so much about other people's opinion."

Over time, it's becoming increasingly clear to me that Tank is part of the problem. He seems to be convinced that the only reason I am in charge of anything at RangeMan is because I'm sleeping with Ranger. When I tell Ranger about my difficulties, he's non-committal.

"Babe, you're both two grown adults, work it out," is his response.

Things come to a head on Thursday when Tank and I almost come to blows in the office. Ranger has to intervene to save Tank; as far as I am concerned I'm angry enough to pound Tank into the floor. He commandeers us into his office.

"What the hell –?" He asks calmly.

"Tank isn't pulling his weight! We lost a lot of money to another outfit _again_ because he couldn't nab our guy fast enough. We're losing accounts and if we don't pick up the slack on the road we're going to be in trouble!" I tell Ranger.

"It's the cops! They're like leach, we can't breathe!" Tank responds.

"And you both thought the solution included arguing in front of the staff," Ranger says.

"He's driving me crazy! He's setting up the guys against me!"

"She trying to run the operations and she doesn't know what she's doing. _I'm_ supposed to be in charge of running operations!"

"But you aren't _doing_ anything! When was the last time you brought in a skip?"

Ranger takes a deep breath and holds up both hands in surrender.

He turns to Tank.

"Tank, get used to working with Stephanie, she isn't going anywhere."

He turns to me.

"Let's go on a field trip."

We pull out of RangeMan and within a block we pick up an unmarked police tail. I don't recognise any of the guys in the car.

"It doesn't matter where we go," Ranger says, "It's like we're transmitting with a homing beacon. We've searched everywhere for some kind of device, but found nothing."

We drive for about ten minutes before turning unto a street of not well cared for row houses and unkempt, postage stamp sized yards. He pulls to a stop in front of a dreary house with pealing, almost neon green paint.

"We've got a guy at this address," Ranger tells me, "He's probably there now, but it makes no sense to try go in and get him. The last time Tank tried, flashing lights and sirens sent the guy flying. He was gone before he could get to the door."

We stare at the house for a while, then he pulls away from the curb, our tail dutifully following behind. We seem to be heading back downtown.

"Were are we going?" I ask.

"We're going to do some surveillance on a guy named Hunter. You might have come across his file –"

"Yes, I remember him. Drug trafficking. $10,000 bond."

"He owns a restaurant downtown; been trying to track him down for over a month. With our bodyguards tailing us he's been able to stay far from us. It can't hurt to see what's going on at the restaurant."

When we park at the curb, our tail parks a few cars behind us on the opposite side of the road. We sit watching the scene. There is nothing unusual or remarkable going on, just people going in and out of the restaurant.

"Maybe we should be watching the service entrance," I suggest.

"The really interesting people usually come through the front door," Ranger says.

"I'm hungry," I say. What I meant to say is that I'm bored, I don't like doing surveillance.

Ranger doesn't respond; he's deep in thought as usual. We sit in silence for a while.

"You need to find a way to get along with Tank," he says finally, "if I'm not around he will be the one protecting you."

"I'm tired of _needing_ protection, I want to be able to take care of myself."

He gives me sidelong glance, slightly amused.

"And when did you have that epiphany?" he asks.

"Just now. I figure it's the reason I don't get any respect from the guys."

"I've relied on Tank to watch my back; in a way he's protecting _me_."

"That's completely different. He knows you can take care of yourself, he's just additional help. I, on the other hand, am almost totally helpless."

"And what do you plan to do about that feeling?"

"I don't know."

"I don't think you're right about the reason you're getting resistance from the guys. It's not that you're not tough enough. I think you need to _calm down_."

"I'm under a lot of stress."

"It comes with the territory, you can handle it."

"What's _with_ you? You seem to think I manage so much more that _I _think I can."

"You don't believe it yet, but you'll see it in time. You have all the right ingredients – determination, inner strength and you're smart, you just need to channel it in the right direction. Fighting with Tank, for instance, is not a good use of your skills or your time. It might be more useful to help him get the job done, not blame him; remember it's a team effort. You can see for yourself what he's dealing with out here."

Just then a cop raps on Ranger's window. He rolls it down.

"Good afternoon, just doing a spot check. Do you have any illegal guns in this vehicle?"

"No."

"Any illegal substance I should know about?"

"No."

"May I see your Licence and registration please."

Ranger hands over his documentation.

Ranger handles him skilfully and he eventually moves off, stopping just short of a full blown search of the vehicle. I'm getting really pissed off at the constant harassment. I want to get back at them. I'm on the verge of losing my temper when Ranger interrupts.

"Babe, focus. It's just a distraction. What's our goal here?"

"Get intel on the skip."

"Concentrate on that."

"It's hard to focus on anything with these guys suffocating us."

"That's exactly the point. They figure if they squeeze us we'll start making mistakes and give them what their looking for. It's –"

He sits up abruptly in his seat and leans forward squinting at something through the windshield.

"That's him!"

"Who?"

"Hunter!"

"The guy going into the restaurant?"

"In the green shirt. Problem is, if we make a move now the cops'll swoop down and he'll vanish into the wind never to be seen again."

I chew on my lower lip. What can we do?

Ranger is totally focussed, his eyes fixed on his prey. He reaches for the door.

"I'm going in."

"Wait! Give me a few seconds. I'll keep those guys busy." Plus get a load off my chest.

I step out of the vehicle and head for the cops. I walk over to the driver's window.

"Hey! Are you done harassing us now?" I yell. "Do you know that's illegal? I'm going to lodge a complaint against you and your department, take you to court!"

"Good luck." The driver responds.

"It's _wrong_! We're just trying to do our jobs!" I'm yelling at the top of my lungs. "You're supposed to serve and protect, but this is police abuse!"

The one on the passenger side exits the car, walking over toward me.

"Calm down," he says, "you're making a scene."

A small crowd begins to gather on the sidewalk to watch the excitement.

"I _will not_ calm down!" I scream, arms flailing, "I can't take this anymore!" I'm almost hysterical, ready to throw myself on the car. I lean forward against the car as if I'm about to keel over, but I'm actually trying to steal a glance behind me at the front of the restaurant to see if Ranger's made it out yet.

"What are you doing to her?" someone from the crowd asks.

"Yeah!" someone else ads, "Why don't you leaver her alone, can't you see she's sick?"

I immediately start pretending to be trying to throw up.

"Hey, don't do that on the car!" The cop shouts.

"You leave her alone!" a voice from the crowd yells. "Last week you cops tried to seize my vehicle! You're always out to get us!"

"Yeah!" some in the crowd respond.

I carry on for another five minutes until I'm sure Ranger has had enough time. The crowd has the car surrounded and are whipped into a feeding frenzy. They're recounting every instance of police abuse they've ever encountered, real or imagined and are not letting them off lightly. I quietly slip away; my job is done.

I turn to see Ranger standing beside the Explorer shaking with silent laughter. Hunter is sitting to the back, shackled. He'd caught his man.

"I see you're finally putting your skills to good use," he laughs.

"And I feel a _whole lot_ better."

We return to RangeMan like rock stars. We're able to pull off in an hour what nobody else was able to for a month. As far as I am concerned, we were just lucky. The restaurant was the last place Hunter was supposed to be. We were at the right place at the right time. Ranger gives me full credit for the capture; he tells everyone it happened because of my quick thinking in distracting the cops. I can tell some of the guys are impressed.

Later, I'm hunkered down in Ranger's office working while he's on the road when there's a rap on the open door. I look up to see Rodriguez looking expectantly at me. I motion him in; he enters, closes the door and sits in a chair facing the desk.

"What's up?" I ask.

He hesitates a little and looks at me apprehensively. There's an awkward silence for a bit.

"Something on your mind?" I ask.

"Some of the guys have been saying that's its time to finally get the cops off our back," He says.

I lean back in the chair. He's got my attention.

"Any suggestions?"

"It's tricky."

I sit quietly waiting for him to continue. He takes a breath.

"If we keep them busy, they'll have less time to harass us."

"Create more distractions," I say.

"Exactly, like you did today but much bigger."

"We have to be careful. If we go that route, we need to be sensible about it. We can't let it interfere with their work and put other people at risk. We'd have to be sure it's for a short time and targeted for only when we need it – like during a takedown. And it definitely can't be traced back to us. Any ideas?"

"A few, but I doubt Ranger would like them."

Maybe its time to take some risks.

"Tell me what you've got, let _me_ worry about Ranger."

In the evening I'm back at my apartment getting more clothes and preparing to move Rex to RangeMan when Morelli calls my cell.

"How do you know I'm home?" I ask him, "Am _I_ under surveillance now?"

"Good job with the guys today, by the way."

"No thanks to _you_."

"I already told you I can't protect you from this."

"What kind of person _are _you? You knew that it was Abruzzi Ranger's being investigated for, he's in trouble because of _me,_ yet you tell me to ditch him. You know he was only trying to protect me from Abruzzi, _you were there_. Like you say, you can't protect me, he did what he had to do."

"First of all, I had no idea what Ranger was planning to do, If I did, I would have stopped him. As a cop I have the responsibility to uphold the law. I told you to quit that job, the maniacs you were going after just kept getting worse and worse. Protect you? I'd need an entire army! You stubbornly keep putting yourself in trouble and need to be bailed out. I have to work and earn a living, I can't be your body guard twenty four hours a day."

Normally I would be upset when Morelli speaks to me like this. But I have to admit he's right in a way. I was pretty irresponsible. Now that I'm face to face with the consequences, I'm trying to grow up. But something else is happening. In my effort to mature I think I'm actually out growing Morelli.

"Whatever," I reply, not really caring about his opinion. "Gotta go, later," I say, ready to hang up.

"Wait! That's it?"

"Were you expecting more?"

"I thought you might be reconsidering."

"What would make you think that?"

"How about the fact that Ranger might not be around for very long, that doesn't sound like a good long term investment, considering that you want to get married."

"Lucky for you that's not _your_ problem."

The thing about Morelli is that he can be annoying as hell, but he's known me for a long time and knows me pretty well. As much as I love Ranger sometimes I wonder where our relationship is heading in the long term. I'm not about to admit that to Morelli. The worse part about it is, despite everything, I still feel something for him.

"See you around," I say and hang up.

I'm back at Ranger's apartment with Rex and I hear his keys hit the tray as usual seconds before he appears. This is becoming a favourite part of my day; I really look forward to spending time with him.

He smiles at me when he sees my reaction to him.

"What?" He asks, walking toward me. He hugs me and gives me a kiss.

"You've been looking a lot more relaxed lately," I comment.

"You can take some of the credit."

"Really? And how exactly do I relax you?" I ask flirting, still wrapped in his arms.

"Lots of ways."

"Do tell."

He kisses me again, this time a lot deeper and with more urgency.

I just can't seem to get enough of this guy.

He nibbles on my neck.

"What about dinner?" I ask, "Are you hungry?"

"Not for food."

I lean into him.

"Are you still feeling stressed?" He asks.

"Yes."

He lifts me off my feet and carries me into the bedroom, resting me on the bed.

"How about a massage?"

As I enjoy his strong hands on my body working out the kinks and knots in my muscles, floating on his ridiculously soft cocoon of a bed, I'm wondering where this side of him came from. Was it there all along hidden, or is he changing?

"You're pretty good with your hands," I barely manage to mumble through my euphoric haze.

"The best is yet to come."

He said once that if he put his mind to it he could let me forget Morelli; I'd say he's definitely already on that road. Ranger can be a pretty sensual guy. Making love to Ranger is like exploring a mystical forest; I'm never quite sure what is going to happen next, but I'm sure its going to be good. He's exciting, yet gentle and reassuring; even though I'm sure I'm in love with him I'm not frightened by the thought. That's a _huge_ thing for me.

I'm half asleep and very mellow when he makes a strange comment.

"Garcia's daughter should be two tomorrow."

"Garcia? Do you mean –?"

"Yes, John Garcia's brother."

"Do you know what he's up to now?"

"He lives in Florida with his wife and two kids. He runs a business in downtown Miami."

"How do you know so much about him?"

"We talk all the time."


	6. Stephanie takes control

**Stephanie takes control**

I'm wide awake now.

"He talks to you?"

"Yes."

"After everything that happened you're still friends?"

"I wouldn't say we're friends; we… share business interests."

"But Garcia said –"

"John Garcia has his own agenda. Mike is doing fine."

Ok, I'm now more confused than ever. I think about that for more than an hour before I drift off again.

I awake to Ranger leaning over me.

"Babe, you're going to be late."

I'm so totally worn out, I can barely move.

"Late for what?" I mumble, half-awake.

I will myself to turn over, pulling a pillow over my head. I feel like a truck is parked on top of me. My eyes are closing again when the covers suddenly yank off me.

"Stop doing that!" I yell, grabbing for the covers, "Do you think this is some boot camp or something? Leave me alone, I'm tired!"

"Get up."

"I hate when you do that! I'm not one of your army buddies!"

"Move!" He commands like a drill Sergeant.

He grabs a foot and starts dragging me off the bed. I want to fly at him cat like and strangle him. Sometimes he can be so damn infuriating! I kick at him with my free foot. To my total annoyance, he starts laughing.

"For somebody's who's tired, you have a lot of energy."

I stick my tongue out and make a face.

"Don't give me any ideas, we're already running late."

I groan with exasperation. I'm so beat and I need a break. I don't know how much longer I can keep up with Ranger's punishing schedule.

"Coffee and breakfast is ready, see you downstairs in thirty minutes."

"Yes sir!" I say with a salute.

"Smartass."

The day is shaping up to be another hectic one at RangeMan. As usual, he runs his team with military precision. I have meetings with Sales and Operations and then Ranger and I will hit the road to meet some new clients and sign contracts. I keep hoping for things to slow down a bit, but every week is getting more taxing. I'm surprised that aside from the mind bending exhaustion, I'm really enjoying it. I feel like I'm part of something that matters and learning new things every day. Sometimes it's more than a bit chaotic – like building a plane while trying to fly it at the same time. I'm barely hanging on.

At the sales meeting, I meet the guys whose job it is to get new security clients. They're a pretty aggressive and determined bunch, just the way Ranger likes it. Like most of Ranger's men, they're a little intense. They're fanatical about getting new business and are always in some sort of competition with other security firms and with each other. Business has picked up and RangeMan has started moving away from some of the more dangerous contracts to more mainstream security. They don't pay as much as the tougher ones, but they are a steady stream of income and they don't put the guys at much risk. In fact, Ranger is concerned that the men are getting a little soft.

I step into the boardroom and I'm greeted by a roomful of men who remind me of a bunch of noisy, rambunctious kids. They have a reputation of being good at what they do, but they are a bit wild and more than a little crazy. If left up to them, the meeting would probably eventually become a Boys– Gone –Wild party, complete with whooping and cheering and dancing on the tabletop. I try my best to get them to quiet down to get started, but nobody even notices me. Are these really the guys I'm supposed to work with? There's no way I can control this bunch.

Ranger knocks the boardroom table with a pen.

"Hey! Settle down," He booms, a few octaves above a whisper.

Everyone stops and stares at us.

Ranger directs attention to me. I'm introduced and they are informed that this is my meeting. They take their seats at the conference table and we begin. I swallow hard and start by talking about some of the issues RangeMan is facing on the road and suggestions as to what the team can do to increase the prospective client pool. I'm in the middle of my spiel when one of the guys interrupts.

"RangeMan is making us look like punk–ass bitches on the road," he complains. "We bust our chops to get business then somehow, it all gets f –" He glances at Ranger. "Screwed up."

"We've been having some challenges recently," Ranger responds.

_No kidding._

"Feels like things are falling apart, if you ask me," another pipes in. "Word around town is that RangeMan is folding."

"That's not true," I reassure them, "That's just a rumour. Truth is, we've been growing."

"Then there's the matter of salary," Another interjects.

"You get paid more when you actually do some work," Ranger counters.

"Maybe we'd have better luck if Stephanie came out on the road; it wouldn't hurt if she helped us close a deal every once in a while."

I completely lose it.

"Do you really need me to come out there and babysit you?" I respond, a little too loudly.

"Do you know what we're dealing with out there?" He shouts back. "We're not dealing with underwear here. The other outfits think we're pansies and going hard after our business. It's war in the streets!"

The complaints keep coming. Ranger's investigation. The police harassment. The list goes on and on, with more and more shouting.

_This is not going well._

Ranger brings an end to the gripe fest.

"Look, we're having some issues and we're working on them. Stephanie has a plan to turn things around for you on the road."

Wait. _What?_

"I'll deal with what I need to deal with and we'll move on. All this is temporary."

The meeting was a complete disaster. I'm wondering how I'm supposed to manage so much raw testosterone if Ranger isn't around to help me. I'm feeling more overwhelmed and less confident each day that I can actually handle the job. Maybe Tank would be a better fit. I want to tell Ranger about my concerns, but I don't see the point; he has enough to worry about and it won't change anything anyway. I'm worried that I'm going to go down in flames and take RangeMan with me.

Tank's meeting with Operations is pretty much the exact opposite to my Sales meeting; Tank is clearly in control. There are no outbursts with wild, risky comments and everything runs smoothly. Ranger had to take over my meeting that had descended into a shouting match. I hate to admit it to myself, but I'm actually jealous of Tank's skills.

Ranger and I hit the road to see the clients. We pick up our usual Cop tail and I'm suddenly beginning to feel hungry and a little cranky. So far my day is not going well and I just want to go back to bed. They're really annoying the hell out of me. I need to have a chat with Rodriguez when I get back.

"I can't believe they can afford to spend so much time following us."

He flashes a glimpse at the rear view mirror, but doesn't comment.

"Maybe we can bore them to death," I suggest.

"If only."

"Do you think they would follow us to Florida?"

"You _really_ want to get away don't you?"

"It's crossed my mind."

"Running away doesn't solve anything. Learn from my example."

"Maybe you should think about letting Tank take over; he seems to be better at the job than I am."

No response.

"Why'd you pick _me_ anyway? I'm sure Tank is wondering the same thing."

"You're better with people."

"Really? That's it?"

"There are other reasons."

"Like?"

Silence.

"Don't tell me Tank is right, that you only chose me because I'm sleeping with you!"

"That _isn't_ one of the reasons."

"Well?"

More silence. I roll my eyes and sink back in the seat. Sometimes Ranger can be impossible. Trying to communicate with him is like climbing a twenty foot wall; it just takes too much damn work, plus I'm really hungry.

"Can we stop for lunch?" I ask.

"We'll be late. We'll have lunch after the meeting."

"We still have a little time."

He doesn't respond. We drive in silence for a while.

"You need to try to control the guys a little better," He says finally.

"They don't respect me."

"You have to earn their respect. Plus you give them too much latitude."

_That does it!_

"What the hell do you expect me to _do_?" I yell. "They have no _reason_ to listen me. I'm trying my best, but they think I'm a joke. I don't know what else to do…"

To my horror, I burst into tears. Ranger pulls over to the side of the road. I'm whimpering, shaking, trying to regain control, but I can't seem to stop. I'm just so damn hungry.

"You can't see clients like this," He observes.

_You think?_

"I need donuts."

"Thought you were off donuts."

"I'm s-s-starving," I manage between sobs. I'm humiliated at my weakness, my failure, everything.

He gives a small sigh and reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out something that looks like a candy bar.

"Chocolate?" I ask hopefully.

"Protein bar."

Well, at least it has _some_ sugar. As I dig in, I feel a wave of calm as my stomach registers food.

"Better?" He asks.

"Yes."

He reaches over and wipes the tears from my cheeks.

"I don't think I'm cut out for this," I confess.

"I don't care what you do; you're not running away from this."

"I don't know what I'm doing and whatever I try doesn't seem to work."

"Maybe you're trying _too_ hard. Just calm down, be yourself and stop worrying so much about what they think about you. They'll push your buttons when they can, especially when they're not doing what they're supposed to. Just ignore it and move on. I've seen you in action, you're good with people. Just harness that and use it."

"Despite everything, you still think I can do it?"

He kisses me on the lips.

"I _know_ you can," He says calmly and pulls back unto the road.

Back at RangeMan, I squeeze in some time to talk to Rodriguez.

"What have you come up with to deal with the cops?" I ask him.

"Several options, ranging from high level espionage to pranks."

"We're not looking to attract the attention of the FBI."

"Pranks it is, then."

"Don't you have anything in between?"

"Maybe, depends on what's in it for me."

I could swear I detect a hint of a flirt in his statement. No, I decide, it must be my imagination. He couldn't _possibly_ be that crazy. I decide to press him.

"What would you want out of it?"

"I'm sure you can think of something."

Now I'm _sure _it's not my imagination. I decide to ignore it.

"How about keeping your job? Is that enough of an incentive?"

He straightens up and gets serious.

"I think I might have just the thing."

Later I stop by Vinnie's. Lula has been calling me non-stop for the past couple of days and I need to get her off my back. I need to get _everybody _off my back! The truth is, I could use the break and hang with them for a while.

"Stephanie!" Lula exclaims when I walk in.

"Was thinking' you don't wanna to see us no more."

"We need you, Stephanie, things are slow. And we have competition," Connie says.

"I'm really busy. There's no way I can help right now."

"Yes, what with being the big boss and all," Lula says.

"Ranger is still the boss," I remind her.

"The second boss then."

_That would be Tank, I think._

"How's it going?" Connie wants to know.

"I wish I could keep control over the men. It's hard to rein them in."

"They're used to working with a lot of men, maybe they're not used to having a woman around," Connie suggests.

"I'm supposed to be their boss!"

Yeah but they're _men_. And not even regular men."

"Yeah. One is even flirting with me."

"Shoot one of them in the foot. The others will get the message," Lula offers.

"Ranger took you from Morelli, what's to stop them from trying to get to you? Maybe a little thing on the side? Since it looks like Ranger won't be around for while," Connie says.

"What's to stop them? How about a bullet form Ranger's gun? Anyway, he didn't _take me_ from Morelli."

She lets out a throaty laugh.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

"It's true!"

"Ranger knew what he was doing all along; it was a matter of time."

"So you figure they think I'm easy."

"They figure you're eventually going to be the boss and soon enough everybody wants to be in with the boss."

I think about that a little.

"Except Tank."

"Tank was Ranger's right hand man all along then you came along. You can't expect him to roll over and die."

_Not to mention the fact that he thinks I'm a buffoon. _

"I don't expect him to quietly step aside, but not _fight_ me on everything."

"Then what _did_ you expect?"

"I'm not sure."

"You better figure it out and fast, because it ain't gonna get any easier," Lula says.

Just then Vinnie appears.

"Where are my skips?" he demands.

"Don't know, where'd you put them?" I say, thumbing through some papers.

"Stephanie doesn't have time for your little itty bitty skips, she's bigger than that now," Lula tells him.

"So it's true... you're running RangeMan?" Vinnie asks.

"I'm in charge of administration and sales."

"I hear you're the big thing down there."

I turn to Connie.

"Let me see the files on the skips."

"Maybe you can get some of the men to pick them up," Connie suggests, handing them over, "shouldn't take them long."

I try not to laugh. I can't imagine trying to get Tank's men to pick up Vinnie's skips. Still I browse through the files.

"Let me see what I can do."

It's 11:00 PM and I'm back on the road with Ranger and his Merry Men. After the fiasco in the sales meeting today I need to prove that I handle whatever RangeMan throws at me. I don't know how Ranger does it; the hours are gruelling. But, I've decided if he can do it, I can do it too. Anyway, I kind of like riding around with them at night; the streets are quiet, there's no traffic, they kid around with each other and are more relaxed. It kind of makes me feel safe and like I'm part of the team, like I belong.

I was actually on my way up to bed earlier in the evening when it hit me. The night shift was in, but Ranger looked fresh, like he was ready for another twelve hour shift. Tank and Hal were packing up to go with him on a late night run. I decided right then that was the way to get some respect around here. Be like one of the guys.

"Where are you going?" I asked Ranger, as he strapped on his gear.

"Pick up Louie Carmona. Got a tip."

"I'm coming with you."

That stopped him dead in his tracks. He looked at me questioningly.

"You're not tired? Don't want a repeat of this morning."

"I'm good. Is this one of the tough ones?"

He goes back to his gear.

"Should be pretty straightforward. In and out in a couple minutes if Tank's informant delivers."

"What brought this on?" He asked. "This sudden desire for a night run?"

"I think the guys are right, I need to get out on the road with them more."

"Babe –"

"I'm doing this."

He shakes his head. If he can do it, so can I. He's done packing and we head toward the vehicles.

"How _do_ you do it?" I ask. "So many hours?"

"Stamina, Babe," he answers with a half smile.

It's been twenty minutes since we've been waiting on the informant Tank lined up to bag the skip. No one is in sight and the men are getting a little edgy. The alley is dark and creepy, with even the proverbial garbage rolling like tumbleweed down the street. It's pitch black and quiet as a tomb. I don't like this place.

"You sure you trust this guy?" Hal asks Tank.

"Came highly recommended."

"We don't have enough intel, it could be a trap."

"Relax. Here he comes now," Tank says.

Someone appears in the alley and walks towards the truck. Good, we can finally get out of this Godforsaken place. I feel like my hair is standing on end. Ranger rolls down the window.

"Re –"

He stops short as a Glock attaches itself to his head with a loud click. I hear myself gasp. I'm completely frozen, I can't move. As the seconds pass there is no further sound. Just dead silence. Not even a breath. Is there really someone standing out there?

Suddenly I can't breathe; my chest is tight as a sinking chill runs down my body. I feel thumping in my ears. Ranger is deathly still. The alley is empty. They'll find our bodies in the morning slumped in the front of the truck as any bullet that gets Ranger will surely find me, sitting beside him directly in the line of fire. The men behind us can't do anything; even if they get off a few rounds they'll probably be too late. We're trapped.

There's a vaguely familiar sound, like the soft rustle of clothing shifting and a blur of movement. In what felt like two seconds, all in one motion Ranger is holding the gun, the door is opening and he's rolling out, vanishing from view.

_Thud_. Something heavy hits the vehicle, rocking us from side to side. _Whup, Whup, Whup. _Blows make impact_. _A groan. Seconds later footsteps scampering into the night.

Ranger hops back in, visibly pissed. I've learned that when his anger begins to show like this on the outside, he's a raging volcano on the inside. Somebody's going to pay for this. He throws me a quick glance. I must look terrified as I'm still not breathing and if my heart pounds any harder, it's going to take a flying leap out my chest. I think I'm going to pass out.

"Just some nut jacked up on dope," he offers, matter–of–fact.

My chest and my head are still thumping, I'm shaking, but still dumbfounded; there's no sound coming from the guys in the back either. What he just did was, hands down, the coolest thing I've _ever_ seen in my entire life. I didn't know it was humanly possible to move that fast. I know Ranger's probably just a regular guy with really good skills, but it's taking some work for me not to be totally awestruck. No wonder he gets so much respect. He really is the best at what he does.

He chambers a round and hands the Glock to Hal.

"Handle this."

He's still radiating anger. Hal takes the gun and leaves without a word.

The night's a bust and we head back. I have mixed feelings. On the one hand I'm finally admitting to myself that Morelli was right; I've been sucked into the underbelly of a world I don't truly understand and that scares the hell out of me. On the other hand, Tank messed up big time and I'm dancing a little jig inside. I know; I'm a terrible person. He led us into an ambush and the situation could have ended a whole lot worse. I wouldn't call us even, but I feel a little justified after my meltdown today; nobody's perfect. I think I'm going to lay off the late night runs for a while, though.

Ranger is calm by the time we get back and we head upstairs. I've been on a lot of skip chases with him, but tonight feels different. I'm beginning to understand some of what he faces everyday: managing a number of teams which adds up to a whole lot of people, keeping RangeMan going. He really has a lot on his plate. On top of that, issues with the investigation on him, the constant harassment. I'm impressed he can keep it all together. He does need my help. If Tank can almost get us killed and not get fired on the spot, there's hope for me yet.

I should be exhausted after our almost fatal adventure but I'm more psyched than ever. I can barely wait to get to the apartment before I literally jump Ranger. From his response I know he feels it too.


	7. Takedown

**TAKEDOWN**

Since Tank's mess-up, I've been given a lot of space. He's now an ally and there's no favour that's too big to fill. Somehow he and Ranger worked it out between them. Since then I've noticed he's been very quiet and keeping a low profile. I don't know what Ranger said to him, but both Tank and I know he's skating on thin ice.

So I use my new found latitude to get a couple of pressing things done. I help Vinnie out by sending men to get his skips; then tackle my number one priority: formulate a plan to takedown Police Chief John Garcia.

I've got a three step plan.

**One:** give the guys on the road some room to do their jobs by creating space between them and the surveillance teams.

**Two:** Undermine his credibility; a guy like Garcia is bound to have a few skeletons rattling around in his closet.

**Three:** go above his head to either have him reassigned or give up his personal vendetta.

The last one feels a little ambitious, but what's the harm in a little ambition? Shoot for the stars; we might just hit the moon. All of this, while not getting Ranger involved… I've really got my work cut out for me.

I get started by organizing three teams. The first headed by Rodriguez since he's our resident technology expert, is in charge of digging up dirt. Our scheduler/dispatcher will organize and monitor the guys on the road ensuring they have a clear path just before they are about to close in on their skips and the third will tap into available networks to see what we can do about the personal vendetta part. Boy, I'm on fire! Maybe Ranger is right about me being good at this kind of stuff, comes naturally to me.

With my new found confidence I plunge ahead. I schedule a bunch of meetings with the guys to work out the mechanics of our plan. They're excited. Happy to not be victims anymore and to go after a bully like Garcia. We've named it Operation Takedown, or O.T. for short. Since I'm Vinnie's new hero, I send Rodriguez to tap his insight on where to begin with finding the dirt. If there's one person in the Burg who knows sleaze, it's Vinnie. The guys have great ideas for distractions on the road, so that part's easy. It's the complicated mess of decoys and diversions that's going to be a challenge. I'm going to tackle the last and most difficult part, Garcia himself.

A pleasant side effect of all this planning is that it's raising the spirits of the men; I had no idea how much the whole thing was wearing them down. There is suddenly a light heartedness, a sense of purpose at RangeMan. Maybe there was something to the complaints in the sales meeting after all. Ranger has guessed that something is up but has left us to do our thing; it's not to his advantage to get involved. He can't appear to be trying to interfere with the investigation. I just hope everything goes as planned and we don't all end up bringing this whole thing down on our heads.

If there's one thing I've learned from Ranger (and Tank's mistake), is gather as much intel a possible before executing a plan. It's time to plug into the Burg grapevine. If there's a ground zero for gossip in the Burg, it would exist at my parents' house. My mother doesn't normally gossip herself; she just calls me and rants about the gossip _she_ hears – usually about me or how I'm not measuring up to someone else. Grandma Mazur would know the juicy stuff. I decide its time to pay her a visit.

I find her in front of the TV as usual watching the Weather Channel.

"I've got a job for you," I say.

"Catching bad guys? Do I get a gun?"

"No bad guys, no gun."

She looks disappointed.

"I need you to help me out with something. I need you get some information, and plant some information."

She perks up.

"Ha! I keep telling you my skills would come in handy someday! Is this about Chief Garcia? I've heard the talk. Seems like you're in for a wild ride."

"What have you heard?"

"Heard that he got transferred here because his last boss wanted to get rid of him."

"Do you know where he was before?"

"No, but I could find out."

"What else have you heard?"

"Well, the talk is mostly about you and RangeMan."

That took me by surprise.

"What about me?"

"You're the big cajones there now. It's all over the Burg."

"What else?"

"The Chief has it in for you; you're making him look bad."

_Great._

My mother walks in with groceries. She looks surprised to see me. I help her take them to the kitchen.

"I didn't expect to see you here in the middle of the day," she says, "I thought you were too busy to visit?"

I sigh. _Here we go again_.

"She's giving me a job," Grandma Mazur pipes in.

She turns to me, upset. "Don't drag her into your cat fight with the Chief! Nothing good will come of this."

I help her unpack.

"It's all over the Burg! You and Ranger's crazy men trying to take on the Police. Racing through the streets like lunatics! Do you think this is reality TV?"

So Ranger is not being mentioned in this. That's a good sign.

"Why can't you just be normal? Settle down. Have a family and a decent life. If it's not one thing it's another with you."

"She should give up running a security company to sit down at home like you ironing?" Grandma Mazur asks.

Both our mouths drop open.

"Wha–" My mother starts.

OK. Time for my exit before the battle begins.

"See you later," I say while closing the door on my way out. I'll finish my conversation later.

So the guys are having a field day on the road playing cat and mouse with the Cops. As part of the decoy plan, they came up with a new game called 'How to bag a skip in sixty seconds'. They have it down to a science. It works like this: one team leaves RangeMan first and drives around until they pick up the Cop tail. Then the other – who is really going in for the drop – leaves and high tails it to the location. They have sixty seconds to do the takedown and get out before they are tracked. Since word got out that we plan to fight back – it's hard to keep a lid on things in the Burg – Garcia is trying to prove that he's up to the challenge. Unfortunately for us, he has a lot more officers and cars at his disposal than we do. So after the first few tricks, he figured it out and sent out more teams to track us. We responded at first by sending out two decoys. But it's having an impact; he's really strangling us, we can barely breathe. We're feeling the squeeze, so we adapt. We use our one advantage: where they have size, we have speed.

I went with them one time to see it in action. The first team left before us. When they radioed in to say they hooked their fish, we flew out of there. We tore through every side street, back alley; any space wide enough to squeeze through to get to the location. Still, we eventually picked up a tail. Our driver worked hard and we eventually lost them, but we guessed they weren't far behind. We screeched to a stop at the site, the guys were inside in five seconds. They nabbed their guy and ran out with the perp shackled and hoisted over their heads like a trophy just as the Cops turned up. It was quite a spectacle. People were on the sidewalk doubled over laughing. We nearly ran off the road laughing our heads off. Even the unlucky perp found it funny.

RangeMan is burning through cash like wildfire with so many teams on the road at a time, but the entertainment value is priceless. People wait in anticipation on the familiar sight of a black explorer racing through the streets followed by an unmarked police car. A fortunate side effect is that because our reputation has pretty much gone through the stratosphere, we're getting a lot more business, so it helps with the cash burn. Hell, everybody wants in on the action. Even competing outfits have volunteered to be part of the decoy teams. It's the most entertaining thing that has happened in the Burg in a long time. But after a while, the whole thing has become hopelessly complicated. Now the decoys have counter–decoys. I've completely lost track of who is where doing what. I've left the guys to it since they seem to have it under control and I'm moving on to bigger fish. Garcia's feeling the heat; he's looking weak and his officers are getting tired of being the butt of everybody's jokes. Aside from that, being the bully that he is, he was not very popular in the force to begin with. Even regular people in the Burg are starting to complain that the whole thing is distracting the force from its real job. Good. It's time to start phase two.

"Vinnie and I dug hard, but we didn't get a lot," Rodriguez says. "It's as if someone went in and sanitised his records. We checked police records, employment history, everything we could find, but it was almost empty. It's like he's lived a long boring life and has never done anything of interest."

"A dead end?" I ask.

"I haven't given up yet, we just need to go deeper. We need something to start with, a nugget to guide us in the right direction."

"Leave that to me."

Time to finish that conversation with Grandma Mazur.

We're sitting at the kitchen table at my parents' house eating cheesecake. This is one of the few places I get to indulge in dessert as Ranger doesn't like to see stuff like that around. Grandma Mazur gives me the update on what she's gleaned so far.

"It's hard to find anything on him," I confess to her, "He's like a closed book. It's hard to believe a guy like him doesn't have secrets."

"He's new around here so nobody knows much about him."

"So what'd you find out?"

"I hear he's divorced and he comes from the Bronx. The only family that anybody knows of is his brother. But there was something about his brother…"

_Bingo! Finally something I can work with._

"What?"

"I'm not sure. I couldn't get a straight story."

"Does anybody know why he was transferred?"

"Again, not sure. Had something to do with a falling out with his boss."

I'm pleased. Finally a break. I've got to do something soon because RangeMan can't keep this up for much longer without going bust.

"Did I do good?" She asks.

"You did great," I reassure her.

"You wanted me to plant something?"

"Yes. Put it out there that we've got the scoop on him, I want him to sweat a little."

I update Rodriguez on my new information and get started on my own investigation. I log into RangeMan's security software and start a search to see what pops up.

"Babe."

Ranger's leaning over me trying to wake me up. I'm flat out on my face on the keyboard. The events of the past few days are taking their toll. I was exhausted before but now I can't find words for how I feel. I try to sit up. It's like I've been beaten all over with a baseball bat; everywhere hurts.

"Just doing some digging," I manage to mumble, somewhere between being asleep and awake.

"Take a break. When did you last eat?"

"What time is it?"

"Midnight."

I'm drifting. I feel him lifting me out of the chair and the last thing I remember is the ding of the elevator.

Ranger is not accustomed to being so completely out of the action. He's had to get used to relying on second hand information. Since O.T. started, he's become a little more pensive and withdrawn than usual. I watch him as he get dressed to go out on the road, probably to see clients.

"You're up," he says.

"How long have I been out?"

"It's noon. I've arranged for Ella to bring you some lunch."

Yay, Ella! I'm completely spoilt. I don't know what I would do without her.

"I'm not sure how much longer we can keep this up," I say.

"Babe, just keep doing your thing and don't worry about it."

I catch up with Rodriguez later in the afternoon to find out what he's uncovered.

"This guy's into some serious shit!" He tells me. "There's no record of anything because nothing's ever been proven. He's got allegations of racketeering, planting evidence on a crime scene, false arrest – you name it, he's done it. Seems like they got tired of him and transferred him here when our Chief retired."

"Any word as to the beef he had with his boss?"

"Not yet. It's hard to get anything, he's slick. Word is he probably hasn't hit Ranger yet because he's surrounded by an army of security people and there's a lot of respect for him here. So he's trying to take RangeMan down to flush him out into the open."

"We need to end this fast. The longer it continues, the less likely RangeMan will win."

He gives me a serious look. "You need to be careful; he has it out for you. There're some scary stories out there about him."

"I'm OK as long as RangeMan survives. I'm practically here twenty-four seven."

"Yeah, but you got family."

Grandma Mazur. I need to pull her away from this. I hate to admit my mother was right.

This is the first time I'm taking on something this big without Ranger or Morelli's help. I'm totally in over my head and scared stiff. The stakes are huge; too many people will lose if this whole thing goes bad. I need help. I need to leak this new information to the grapevine, then move on to phase three.

I've assigned a security detail to my parents' house and killed two birds with one stone by giving Grandma Mazur enough info to both let her know how dangerous Garcia is and feed the gossip vine. I've told her in no uncertain terms that it's time to back off, it's too dangerous. Unfortunately, now that she's the epicentre of information with the latest on Garcia and the battle with RangeMan it's hard to put the Genie back in the bottle. I tell her to be careful. She tells me she's always 'strapped'. I shake my head.

There are two ways I can get Garcia to end this vendetta. Appeal to his boss or his brother. Those are his only two vulnerable areas. The first is a long shot; the only person I know who is connected enough to pull that off is Ranger. His profile is higher than ever now; he's gained friends in high places. Since I don't want him involved, I need to go the other route. I book a flight to Miami.


	8. MIAMI

**MIAMI**

It's pouring rain when I arrive at Miami airport; the grey sky just about matches my mood. I'm absolutely miserable. I wish I was here under different circumstances – I could use a little rest and relaxation right now. Maybe lying on the beach with Ranger, thinking about nothing in particular – just watching the surf and taking a breather. Instead, I'm here to talk to a man who doesn't know me and might not want to help. What if this doesn't work? What if it _backfires_? Makes Garcia so angry that he crosses the line and inflicts irreversible damage? What the hell am I even doing? I shake the thoughts lose and try to focus. I wish I had the mental centre that Ranger has, I wish he was here.

As I make my way downtown by taxi, the sky starts to clear a little and I feel better. I rehearse in my head what I'm going to say to Mike. I have no idea what I'm going into, but I've got to make this work. Too much is riding on this. My stress level is off the charts, I just need to get it over with. I take deep breaths. By the time I get to his souvenir store, I've pretty much worked myself up into a frenzy. So I do what I do when I'm petrified – I dive in. I ask for him at the front of the store. A short, dark, well built guy around Ranger's age comes out to meet me.

"Hi, I'm Stephanie Plum. I need to speak to you about your brother."

He doesn't seem surprised at all to see me. I'm trying to decide if that is a good or a bad thing when he motions me to his office in the back.

"Nice store," I say looking around. He really seems to have done well for himself.

"Yeah, business is good. Trying to turn this into a chain of stores specialising in fishing equipment. The other souvenir stuff on display is just for the walk-in tourist." He seems very pleased with himself.

"So what's Johnny up to this time?"

I explain to him what's happening with RangeMan and that he's our last line of defence. He shakes his head.

"It gets worse every time," he says. "I try to get as far away from him as I can, but it's not far enough. I'm tired of this."

He beats out a tune with his fingers on his desk, deep in thought. I'm trying to decide what to say next when he makes an offer.

"Had lunch yet? I know this great place we could grab a bite."

I accept. We take his Porsche to a hotel restaurant. On the way we chat about the weather, life in Miami and sports. He seems like a really nice guy, very friendly. It's hard to believe he's related to Garcia. We dine out on the rooftop patio where we have a spectacular view of the Bay and Miami skyline. It's breathtaking.

"So what does Carlos think about all if this?" He asks.

Now there's a question I didn't expect; I'm not sure how to respond.

"W-W-Well, we're fighting it," I manage to get out, "but we're running out of time."

"And money," he finishes. "You're not the first, he's done this before. It's his _modus operandi_. He smiles a little. "I picked that up from Carlos back in the day." He has a faraway look. I slowly inch my way forward.

"Do you and John still talk?" I ask.

He gives me a look that says _no way in hell_.

"He's a monster; don't want to have anything to do with him."

There's so much about him that reminds me of Ranger. I want to broach the topic but I don't know how. Thankfully, he reads my mind.

"We were really tight; Carlos and me, we go way back. Had some good times. He needed money to pay for college and I had a dream of opening my own store. We got into a bunch of stuff. We thought we were so cool and tough back then. We thought we knew the streets. We got in too deep, after a while we didn't know which way was up."

_I can identify. _

"He says you still talk."

"Yeah. I haven't forgiven him for what he did, but I learned some things in prison that changed everything."

A bit of silence passes while we eat.

"He's one of the smartest people I know. He has a natural instinct for things. I was small for my age and everybody picked on me. He stood up for me and protected me. It's a pity things worked out the way it did."

I want more information but I'm afraid to press him. He's being deliberately cagey and I don't want to upset him. I wait for him to continue.

"When things went down he abandoned me. But later I saw why he did it. It was way bigger than us. The trap was set and he smelled it from a mile away and took off. I was too slow to figure it out. There's no telling what would have happened to _him_ if he didn't split."

"So how did you meet up again, how did you start talking?"

"After I got out I couldn't get a job, things were tough. I bounced around a bit, hustling to survive. One day he turned up out of the blue. Handed me a stack of cash and told me to go start that business I always talked about. I was still mad and wanted to take him out on the spot, but hey, a convicted felon doesn't have a lot of options. So I took it. He's helped me out on occasion since then. I own three stores now."

I guess there's no way around it but to ask.

"Can you help us? Do you know how we can end this?"

He sits back in his chair and studies me for a while just as Ranger would.

"Since he trusts you, I suppose I can too. Somebody needs to take him down. If anybody can, it's Carlos."

Then he drops the bomb.

"Carlos doesn't know this, but it was Johnny that set us up. Seems like he was after Carlos but got me instead. Found this out in prison. He hated Carlos, said he was corrupting me or some shit like that. But he didn't really care about me; he just wanted to control everything and everybody around him. Said he got a lawyer for me, but it was a sham. Even got a promotion out of it because they said if he could go after his own brother then he was the man for the job. By the time I got out, he was too powerful for me to do anything. So I pretended I didn't know. I blamed everything on Carlos, all the while collecting evidence. You're not the first person that's come to me about him, just that I worry about my wife and my kids. We've had some close calls with some of his enemies. If I were you, I'd look into what else he's after besides destroying Carlos. Look at maybe your competition, some way he'll make money or get more control if you fail. I'm pretty sure he's working with some other agenda, or running some kind of racket. I'm going to give you something and I want you to give it to Carlos, he'll know what to do with it."


	9. Iron Aces

**Iron Aces**

On the flight back I think about what Mike said. Garcia seems to be far more powerful than we thought and ruthless. There's a lot going on here I don't fully understand. What else could Garcia be up to?

I'm back at RangeMan with Mike's sealed box and a whole lot of questions tumbling around in my head. Could this be it? What we've been waiting for? We certainly need something to break or we might not make it. I wait impatiently for Ranger to get back off the road, dying to see what's in it. I literally meet him at the door almost dancing with anticipation.

"We need to talk," I say.

"My office," he says.

"I'd rather upstairs. More privacy."

He listens in silence to the whole story with a distant look in his eyes. He doesn't usually show much but this time I can see his expression move from surprise, to pensive, to dark. I hand him the box.

"Compliments of Mike."

He opens it to reveal a mess of wire recorders, various items wrapped in duct tape and smaller boxes. He fingers some of them, thinking. Then he turns to me with a gentle look.

"Babe, you've exceeded my wildest expectations. I'm… _really_ impressed."

He reaches over, wraps me in a hug and kisses me on the lips. I feel myself beaming.

"Take a break, you deserve it. I'll take it from here."

So I take his advice, unplug from all things RangeMan and try to catch up on my life. I've been out of touch for so long I don't even know where to start. I finally figured out that I must be suffering from some kind of burnout. That would explain this constant need to get away RangeMan. As long as I am in the building I feel the enormous stress of what's going on around me. The trip to Miami was too quick for me to enjoy anything and reminded me of how much I need a vacation. The sad thing is, it's not really safe for me to leave right now. Everywhere I go I take a security detail and we're already stretched thin. I'm not sure why– maybe it's something Mike said, or Ranger's expression, or both. There's this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that this whole thing is heading to a really dark place before it gets better.

I'm watching Rex on his wheel, remembering the old me. This sense of spinning my heels but going nowhere, the emptiness in my life. Boy, have things changed! Yet, as I watch his little legs go and his chubby little butt move, I wonder what happens now. Where do we go from here? Is it just a different kind of treadmill, more exciting and dangerous, but going to the same place? Sometimes I don't like to think about things too much. Too many questions, no good answers. When this is all over – hopefully soon – I'm going to convince Ranger to take some time off and we'll go somewhere exotic and relaxing for a change. I'm already excited!

Today I think I'll lounge around, get some rest, watch TV and catch up on some calls. I nap for a couple hours then decide to unwind in front of the TV. The news is on and there's a picture of Garcia on the screen, they're talking about some statement he made regarding RangeMan. I can't seem to get the full story as they're still discussing it in pieces. I throw on some clothes and rush downstairs to find out what's going on.

I find Ranger in a meeting with Tank, Hal and Rodriguez. He motions me to join them and I take a seat and listen in. They're discussing a new plan of attack in dealing with Garcia.

"I thought this was over," I say, "don't you have enough on him?"

"We have more enemies than we can see and this goes deeper than we thought," Ranger says.

"But I thought if we took him down with the information we have, that'd be the end of it, of both him and the secret enemies."

"We would only reveal our hand and change nothing. We would also put a lot of people in danger."

I think about how fearful Mike was for his family.

"He's more entrenched than we thought. If we're going to win this, we need to let him expose his hand so we can see what we're dealing with."

"So what's this statement he's making on TV?" I ask.

"He's saying that he has evidence that RangeMan in involved in illegal activities and it's his number one mission to clean up Trenton," Rodriguez says.

"And you're OK with that? After all we've been through? We're just going to sit here and let him destroy RangeMan's reputation?"

"Looks like the rumours you put out there seems to be working," he says, "nobody believes a word of what he's saying."

"Yes, but this is the Burg," I insist, "If people hear it long enough, they start to believe it. I used that against him. But if you let him keep going it _will_ backfire."

"It's part of a larger plan," Ranger explains, "we need him out there and talking. We've pulled all our men off the streets. He feels he's won. We sent him a little care package to nudge him out of his comfort zone. If we keep him occupied trying to save his own skin, it will give us a chance to see who's lurking in the shadows."

I'm not convinced. "It's risky," I maintain.

"Riskier than _your_ plan?' he asks slightly amused, "what happened to your sense of adventure?"

"I left it in Miami."

"If we're going to outflank him we need intel. Tank and Hal, see what you can find out from your sources. Rodriguez, do some digging in the Bronx and see how deep his reach is. We can't go for him directly, we need to circle him from all sides. Once we find out who he's working with, we squeeze them. Remember, we need to keep this between us, the less people know what we're doing, the better. Don't trust anyone."

Later on I admit to Ranger that I'm not following what is going on.

"I thought it was pretty straightforward – we tell what we know, he ends his vendetta. Isn't the information you have enough? Why are going through all of this to get to him?"

"Babe, it's not that simple. He's got the power and resources to crush us. I've dealt with him before; he's a master at setting traps. Why do you think nobody's been able to take him down yet? _Many_ have tried. Some are in prison, some have turned up dead, others … go missing. He's good at what he does. Don't underestimate him."

"But Mike said –"

"Why do you think Mike sat on the information he had all this time and not confront him? Because he saw firsthand what this guy can do. There are a lot of moving parts to this thing and we only have one shot at this. We have to make it count."

This is frustrating. "I just want this to be over," I complain, "so we can get back to our lives. Why is it so hard? Why do I always feel like I'm fighting one battle after the other?"

"It's how it is, Babe."

I suddenly feel discouraged. Here I was thinking it was over and it's clearly just begun. He reads my expression.

"Don't worry about it. We'll be fine."

I look at him and I can tell that there's a lot more going on under the surface than he's saying, but somehow I always feel safer when I'm with him. There's no comparison between him and Morelli. I'm beginning to wonder what I ever saw in Morelli in the first place. That was the old Stephanie. I'm a new person, stronger than I thought, just like Ranger said. In many ways, he's brought out the best in me. I see him smiling and there's tenderness in his eyes. I wonder how long I've been staring. He reaches over and starts nibbling my neck, I feel all tingly inside. There was never a question about the passion between us, I'm happy when I'm with him.

The next day I decide to catch up on some calls. In the odd mix of the usual people leaving messages I find a message from the local station wondering if I would be willing to do an interview on behalf of RangeMan to tell our side of the story. There's also a call from Morelli wanting to talk to me urgently. Curiosity gets the better of me, I wonder what this is about, so I call Morelli. He picks up on the second ring.

"So what's up? What's so urgent?" I ask him.

"We haven't talked in a while; I thought I'd give you a call."

"Well, here I am."

"I worry about you, cupcake, what you're getting yourself into. I don't think you have any idea how serious this is. There's a lot of strange things going on with RangeMan. Don't get dragged into their mess."

I roll my eyes; we've _so_ had this conversation before.

"Morelli –"

"Look, this is big. I don't think they're going to get out of this one. There's still time, you can still get out. The longer you hang around the more dangerous it is for you. I know this is not you. I warned you before. Don't sell out to that –"

"_Sell out?_" I feel my blood pressure rising.

I'm about ready to hang up. I don't have time for this.

"They're going to take down Ranger and it's not going to be pretty. Those around him might get sucked in."

"Who exactly is "they"? Do you know something you want to share?"

"Just a friendly warning. If you leave now, everybody'll forgive you. You can say it was just a moment of weakness before you realised what you got yourself into. I'll do what I can to protect you."

Something about what he said triggered a memory about traps. So I pause and take a deep breath; Morelli has a way of really getting under my skin sometimes. I decide to change tactic.

"OK. So let's say you're right. What do we do now? Do we just go back to the way we were like nothing has changed?"

"Why not? Just start over."

"Do you really think I'm the same person I was when we were together?"

"I know Ranger has corrupted you but, you can change, go back to how it used to be. It'll take time, but it can be done."

_Corrupted me?_ Now where have I heard that before? Morelli's been talking to Garcia.

"I'll have to think about it, there's just so much going on right now. I need some time to figure things out," I tell him. I quickly wrap up the conversation.

So that's what Garcia's up to! He's also circling Ranger from all sides, trying to make me leave him. I don't know what to make of this. It's so confusing! I know for sure that Morelli has no idea he's a pawn in this fight. Who knows what Garcia promised him. He could have it all – get me back, repair his reputation and maybe even get a promotion, all in one go. I think he has no idea what Garcia could do to him if he doesn't deliver. Now I'm worried for Morelli. I'm seeing another part of Garcia's trap: alienate, divide and conquer. He's using my own tactic against me. I unite people against him; he divides them against us. He's clearly a take–no–prisoners kind of guy. He wants to make sure Ranger has nothing left.

It's been one of those days when I feel like my world is upside down. My meeting with Ranger and the team doesn't help. The body blows keep on coming.

"So, it turns out," Hal is updating us, "the ambush in the alley _was_ meant for Ranger. Tank was set up. Seems like Garcia's work but we can't tell for sure."

We all absorb that for a while.

"Sure sounds like his style," Rodriguez offers, "lots of allegations, but never any proof."

"The good news is," Hal continues, "it's too risky for him to take you out now, too public."

"But now he's trying to turn Trenton against us," I say, "I told you if you left him out there talking people would start to believe him. The local station wants to interview us, tell our side of the story. Should we do it?"

"Not yet," Ranger says, "we still don't have a full picture of what we're dealing with. Rodriguez, what did you find out about the Bronx?"

"That he's got tentacles everywhere and they go _deep_. He pretty much gets a cut off every game in town."

_Great._ Just what Trenton needs right now.

I'm conflicted, being pulled in so many directions. When he threatens RangeMan, I can handle that. Even when he threatens me personally. But when he starts to involve people closer to me, he's crossed a line. I want to personally take him down. It _so_ infuriating! It's like he has a force field or something, nobody can touch him. I can't take this!

Later I vent to Ranger about my frustration. I tell him about my conversation with Morelli, how I think Garcia's manipulating everybody, my fear of what could happen.

"This is just maddening! Who the hell does he think he is?" I shout, "Trying to set us against each other. What's he trying to do to us?"

"Don't let him get in your head. That's what he wants. He'll rip Trenton apart if that's what it takes. This is bigger than just us. That's –"

"Yeah, I know, his _modus operandi,"_ I finish.

He's taken aback for a second, then laughs out loud. That's rare with Ranger.

"So what else did Mike tell you?" he asks, still amused.

"Not much, just how wonderfully smart you are."

"Look, Garcia thinks _big_. He takes down everything and everybody to get what he wants. We just need to figure out what that is."

"Maybe we should just ask him," I suggest. "Just meet with him and find out. Save us from this dancing around each other."

He has a look that says he's pleasantly surprised.

"I like the way you think. But what if he wants it _all_? What if he literally wants to own Trenton? That's the level on which he thinks. Whatever he's planning, he needs to have power at every level to pull it off."

"Any ideas as to what he could be planning?"

"If I were to guess I'd say he plans to expand his territory from the Bronx."

"Why does he need to take us down to do that?"

"Somehow, we're getting in his way."


	10. Return to the Source

**Return to the Source**

RangeMan has a new problem. There's been a sudden increase in break–ins at the security client accounts. Almost every night there's is a new emergency. Now we are about to lose our core business.

"I don't understand how you can be so calm about all of this," I say to Ranger, "all hell is breaking loose. He's made up his mind; he's going for our throats."

"We'll deal with this new threat like we always do. He's not going to win."

"How do you know that?"

He gives me his _I know what I'm doing_ look.

"So what's our next step?"

"Now we take a trip to the Bronx."

The Bronx isn't exactly the exotic vacation I have in mind but since he's thrown in shopping in Manhattan, I'm sold. I only wish I had company, it's no fun shopping alone. The nature of the trip doesn't exactly lend itself to taking a friend and hanging out in the stores all day. Maybe I'll try to wring his arm to go shopping with me, but that's a tall order – he's just not that type of guy.

We leave at the crack of dawn to beat rush hour traffic and to get there in time to have the full use of the day. It's slightly exiting and nerve–wracking at the same time, as it always is with Ranger. We've barely said anything since we left; he's deep in thought.

"So what do you think we'll find in the Bronx?" I ask.

"Hopefully some answers. Like what happened that led to him to end up in Trenton? Who's overseeing his stake while he's away and where is all the money? Follow the money; it always leads to the source."

"You mean the source of his power?"

"Yes. His lifestyle doesn't reflect what he's supposed to be worth. Something's missing. We need more intel from the ground, we can't rely on second hand information. We need to eyeball these things ourselves."

"How're you planning to get the intel?"

"Talk to some people, hang around a bit and watch the flow. Then they're a couple people that owe me some favours, see what I can get from them. Also want to talk to a couple of people who tangled with him."

"How're you going to do that without it getting back to him?"

"I'm _counting_ on it. Stir things up a bit, divide his attention. Right now we're sitting ducks; we're making it too easy for him."

"You know some of his victims?"

"Not personally. Tracked down two in prison. Figure they should be in the mood to talk."

I feel a shudder down my spine. Not looking forward to _that _trip.

"Circle him from all sides," I mumble.

"He's left himself exposed by leaving the Bronx. We're going to find some of those weak spots."

We drive in silence for a while, thinking. It's probably just my imagination, but could I swear Ranger's actually enjoying this. He's animated, always focused on his next move. Like stalking prey. Calm, crouching, ready to pounce. Sometimes I wonder what it's like in his head. All his thoughts neatly organized, labelled and filed away for easy retrieval. Mine is a complete mess; always hurtling from one extreme to the next.

We get to our hotel, check in and get ready for our first day. We're in Midtown Manhattan in a penthouse suite with a panoramic view of Central Park and the Manhattan skyline. It's beyond breathtaking. Everything Ranger does, he does in fine style.

"Is this how you normally live when you work out of town?" I ask.

"No. But I thought you'd like it."

_Good grief._ It's so luxurious it's a vacation all by itself.

"Feel free to make use of the spa and other amenities."

"How am I going to make time for all of this? Between going on the road with you and shopping, I can't do it all." OK. Now that's a problem I _love_ to have.

"Babe, you don't need to come with me everywhere. Take some time for yourself."

That's good news. Now's a great time to deal with that prison issue.

"So I can skip the prison field trip?" I ask hopefully.

"Agreed. Consider this a working vacation. You can join me when you like."

If he's trying to impress me, he's succeeded. This is like _seriously_ _over the top_. I'm going to enjoy the hell out of this place. I deserve it, right?

He's almost ready and I'm wondering if I should go or just stay in today. How do I leave all this awesomeness for work?

"I'm coming with you," I say.

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I know, but if I stay in I don't think I'll want to go out tomorrow – or at all. Plus I may go shopping tomorrow anyway." Truth is, I'm trying not to get too used to this kind of life.

"OK. I'll take you back after lunch."

The moment we head out I wish I was back at the hotel. What's with me? A part of me wants the rest and relaxation and the other part is pushing me out to work. No, wait. It's more than that. It's like somehow I don't want to be at the hotel. Why is that? There's been a bunch of things bugging me recently that I can't seem to figure out. Right now, I'm not feeling like I want to be dealing with Garcia and his craziness, I have my own internal mess to sort out. Well, I committed to this; I have to see it through.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"To talk to some contacts. You sure you want to do this? You don't have to come."

"No, it's OK. I should go."

"Why? I can handle this."

I don't answer. The truth is, I don't know what to say. I just know I'm not feeling right, but I'm not completely sure why.

Ranger pulls off the road and turns to me.

"Babe, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been acting strange since we got here. Right now you're literally curled up into the door, like you're about to jump out. You obviously don't want to do this. Why are you forcing it?"

He's right. I'm feeling quite wretched.

"I don't know."

"Are you worried about the Garcia situation? Because we can handle him."

"No, it's not that. I don't know – I guess it's this whole trip. It's a bit over the top, isn't it?"

He doesn't respond. He seems to be waiting for me to continue.

"Like the hotel. Feels a bit – uncomfortable. Too shiny, too perfect, I think. Like I'm walking through a work of art."

"And that's a bad thing?"

Something snaps into my consciousness. I think I got it. I'm enjoying it too much. What did Morelli call me – _a sellout?_

"It's just not my kind of thing."

"We could change hotels if you like –"

"No. I just – I don't know…"

"Babe, live a little. It's not about work all the time. You've been pushing yourself really hard lately, and it's time to take a break."

Then why do I feel so… uneasy? Well, it's just for a couple of days. Maybe he's right. I'm going to spend a lot of time outside of the hotel anyway, so maybe it evens things out.

"So, what do you want to do?" He asks.

"Let's keep going. We can deal with this later."

We drive for about half an hour and turn into what looks like an industrial complex with a number of garages. We stop in front of one that has some disassembled tractors outside.

We hop out and shake hands with a guy covered in tattoos named Rock.

"Yo, my man! W'sup? Been a long time!"

They greet each other with one of those urban handshakes and shoulder bump.

"Hanging in there! Rangers responds. "Looks like business is good!"

"Yeah. Can't complain." They exchange small talk.

"So, what brings you these parts?" Rock asks.

"Just doing a little recon. What do you know about Police Chief John Garcia?"

"Garcia? Yo, he's like a _hero_, man. 'Round here? Cleaned it up so we so we can work in peace. Was touch and go for a while – like everyday was a shakedown man, knowaddamean? Always some punk pushing nines in your face wantin' money. Garcia, he come down heavy on them wussies like whoa! Some don't like him 'cause he talks straight, knowaddamean? Yeah, shoots straight from the hip!" He laughs. "That's what we need 'round here!"

"You know he's in Jersey now," Ranger says.

"No, didn't know."

"Curious about why."

"Boss would know. Hey Jimmy, Boss inside?" He calls out to someone.

"Yeah," A voice responds.

"Office in the back," He points.

We go in to meet his boss. He's not as forth coming as Rock, even though he knows Ranger. He looks uncomfortable and keeps eyeing me suspiciously. Ranger tries but doesn't get much from him. He stops a few times to take some calls and continues working. I'm starting to feel like we're an intrusion. When we get up to leave he extends his hand to Ranger, barely even acknowledges me.

We hop back into the truck and I notice Ranger slide something in his pocket.

"What's that?" I ask.

"A little note he slipped me. Guess he wants to talk later."

"I don't think he liked me much."

"He doesn't know you, he was nervous."

"I don't think it's a good idea me coming with you."

"Agreed. I'm taking you back to the hotel now."

By the time we get to Manhattan, it's time for lunch.

"What do you want to do for lunch? Fast food, restaurant, room service?"

I remember our conversation from this morning. I'm starting to feel a little silly now that I think about it. Why am I feeling weird for 'living a little' like Ranger says? It's not the vacation, it's the lifestyle. It makes no sense but that's the way I feel.

"Let's eat at the hotel, it's easier", I decide.

As I expected, the restaurant is beautiful. Floor to ceiling windows like the penthouse, a spectacular hand blown glass chandelier in the shape of tree branches covers the entire span of the suspended ceiling. There is no way we're dressed to dine here. This is the kind of place you go buy a special dress for. We head to the more informal lounge area and order lunch.

"So Garcia does have fans out there," I say, "I'm surprised."

"Things are not always as they appear. To some he's a hero cleaning up the streets, to others something dangerous. Rock doesn't own the place; he wouldn't understand what's going on higher up. He's just happy to still have his job. Hopefully later I'll find out the real deal."

I think about that for a bit.

"So let's get to the elephant in the room here," he continues, "What was that this morning about this place being 'over the top?"

"You're going to think it's silly."

"Try me."

"All this doesn't feel like me. I kind of feel like a fake, like I don't belong here."

"Why?"

"I don't know, it makes no sense. It's like I like it, but it doesn't feel right."

"It's a vacation Babe, just a couple of days."

"Yeah, I know but – I miss my old place, sometimes I miss my old life. It's complicated."

"Where is this coming from? Is it something Morelli said?"

"Why would you think that?"

"You've been different since you spoke to him."

I don't respond. I don't know what to say. I feel worse than ever. We fall into an uncomfortable silence after that while we eat. We're both deep in thought. It's slowly dawning on me what my problem is. Why I don't want to get use to this.

Ranger takes off for his afternoon appointments and I'm left to my own devices. I decide to go for a walk. I try my best not to think about what's eating away at the back of my mind. I'm thinking about Trenton, my family, Dickie and strangely enough, Morelli.

I really love being in Manhattan. There's an energy that I can almost touch; it's like a living breathing thing that I can feel. Yet so lonely. Like how it was in Newark. I need to figure out what I really want; I'm not so sure anymore. The truth is that I'm _tired_. Tired of Garcia, the stress at RangeMan, this constant battle. I'm not sure I remember how to relax anymore. I don't feel like going shopping. I don't feel like doing _anything_. I feel awful and I think I'm going back to bed. I've walked so far I have to sit in a park and rest. By the time I get back, it's late afternoon. I'm also getting hungry.

As I walk into the suite I'm immediately hit by the strong scent of lavender. Everywhere is dark except a faint light coming form the bathroom. I head there to see what's going on. I gasp when I look in at the scene. The gigantic square tub is filled to the brim with water and Lavendar flowers floating on top. A mound of chocolates and candy coated snacks are pile high on the side with sparkling wine and two glasses. The candles reflecting off the marble floor and walls, and the view of the city through the floor to ceiling window makes me speechless. I don't even remember shedding my clothes; somehow I'm already in the tub. Water cascades into the tub from the wall and feels unusually soft against my skin. I'm pretty sure this is what heaven feels like. The beauty of this huge infinity tub is that it is encased in a larger one, so I can bring the level of the water as high as I want to without worrying about flooding the place. I get to work pigging out on chocolate.

I'm so in my zone I don't hear Ranger come in. I'm high on chocolate when he sits on the edge of the tub.

"You did all this?" I ask, almost giggling.

"I arranged it."

"Care to join me? I think we could hold ten more people in here."

OK, so that's an exaggeration; maybe about four more.

I watch him peel his clothes off and enjoy the strip tease, grinning. It's the chocolate. And maybe the wine.

"Seems a chocolate habit isn't the worst thing in the world," he comments, "makes you quite mellow."

"That's not the only thing that makes me mellow."

He gives me a long toe–curling kiss. I want more, but the problem is I think I'm about to drown. It's like trying to sit up in a swimming pool. I fight it for a bit and come up laughing. So we settle on watching the sunset. He sits with his back against the tub and I sit in his lap, my back against his chest. He wraps his arms around me to prevent me from floating away downstream. I revise my earlier thought – _this_ is heaven. I want to ask how'd the rest of his day go, but I've declared this a Garcia–free–zone.

"I've got a question," I say.

"Shoot."

I can hear myself echo in the large room, so I lower my voice.

"How can you afford all of this when RangeMan might be in trouble? Isn't it risky to spend like this if you're not sure what will happen?"

"I don't have all of my personal funds tied up in RangeMan, Babe."

No wonder he's so relaxed. Now I've _got to_ ask.

"Where does all that money come from? I've seen the accounts. RangeMan doesn't take in enough for some of the stuff you do."

"It isn't my only line of work. I also do some private security contracts in parts of the world you've never heard of. They pay extremely well."

"Is that where you disappear to when you go 'out of town?'"

"Sometimes."

"Isn't that extremely dangerous?"

"That's why it pays so well."

Perfect_._ So it's worse than I thought. Now I have more to worry about than people like Garcia. He also has _international_ threats. This is a high risk lifestyle.

"Does that bother you?" He asks gently, stroking my hair.

"A lot of things bother me."

"What else?"

"Is your life always like this? From one battle to another?"

"No. Sometimes it can get pretty dull. There's just so much of a challenge that these skips can offer. I used to go on missions abroad just to keep sharp. I'm trained for much more than this. If I don't use the skills, I lose them."

"So you're still a soldier then?"

"A little more than that." He lays back and smiles. "Any more questions?"

"Just one. How did you get so connected? You seem to know people in high places."

"Side effect of my line of work. They like to know people who can take care of difficult and sometimes very delicate situations, home and abroad."

"So why don't you use that and end this thing with Garcia? Couldn't you pull some strings and get him to back off?"

"Maybe. Then what would happen to Mike and his family? Or the other people he's messed with? He can't be allowed to continue like this; we have to take him down completely. Plus, I have a personal history with the guy. I'm not backing down. This ends _now_."

"But it has nothing to do with the challenge of chasing him or keeping your skills sharp, right?"

I feel his chest shake with silent laughter.

We had a spectacular night. Sopping wet, but awesome. I've always found Ranger hot, but tonight he has an animal energy; a kind of wildness and primal intensity. He's a fantastic lover.

The next morning we sleep in. I haven't had a lot of that with Ranger, so I enjoy every minute of it. We order room service and just lie in and recuperate from an intense night of lovemaking. I wish it could be like this more often. These are the moments that keep me hooked. I wish he'd stay in all day.

"What time are you going out today?" I ask.

"I have a couple appointments, but I left my morning open."

He did that for me. I'm pleased. At least he's trying to make time for us.

"What are _you_ planning to do today?" He asks.

"Thinking of going shopping, then do the spa thing."

We just lay there staring at the city and the horizon. Since we're on the top floor of the building with an unobstructed view, it feels like we're on top of the world. I'm feeling like we're getting closer now and I'm more comfortable with asking difficult questions. But now is not the time. This moment is just perfect.

When I wake up a couple hours later he's gone. I think I'll have lunch and then hit the stores.

So it's come down to this: as long as I'm with Ranger there's always going to be danger in my life. It was exiting at first, but now I'm not so sure. Can I _live_ with this? That's a question I've been trying to answer for a while now. Will there ever be a time when things settle down? I can't believe Morelli was right all along. But what are my choices? A drab, boring, pointless life, or one living a hundred miles an hour with the constant threat of losing Ranger? Isn't there some middle ground? I won't lie to myself – the perks are awesome. But is that enough?

These are the thoughts I grapple with while I'm shopping. Do the risks outweigh the rewards? Maybe Ranger is right, I should indulge a little more. I decide to enjoy the rewards a _lot_ more; maybe I can get the risk/reward thing to even out.

The spa is beyond luxurious. The floor has an ethereal blue-green glow that gives me the feeling like I'm suspended in water. There's a lot of wood panelling, I feel like I'm walking through a forest. I'm definitely getting a blend of citrus and wood scents. I get a hot stone deep tissue massage. I try to empty my mind while the masseur works on my tired aching muscles and I feel myself drifting.

I wake up early evening. I don't bother to rinse or anything, I slip into my robe and head back to the suite. I'm starving. On my way out I grab a few of the nuts and other stuff they have in the spa.

Ranger is back with great news. He's had a major breakthrough. We'll discuss it over dinner. I shower, get ready and slip into on a bombshell designer dress I found earlier on my shopping trip. I apply new make-up, pricey accessories and strappy heels and make my entrance. I feel like a million bucks.

"Babe, we're going to be la-" He begins.

He's staring at me. I love the dress. It hugs me in all the right places. He looks _hot_. I better get out of here before I jump him.

"You were saying?" I ask.

He looks a bit confused. "What?"

"About dinner."

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Let's go."

I think he spent half of dinner staring at me. He seems a little distracted, like he's thinking about something. I feel different. More confident. Sexy. Alluring, even. I feel great! Pity I wouldn't have anywhere in Trenton to wear this stuff to.

"You look great, by the way," he says.

"Thanks. So do you."

It's like he wants to say something else, but changes his mind. He tells me about his breakthrough.

"So the first part of Garcia's plan is the standard stuff. About the time that Rock mentioned, there was a sudden rash or burglaries, extortionists appeared and every kind of threat materialized out of thin air. It was concentrated around certain areas and brought some of the business to their knees. Out of the blue, a new security company appeared offering to deal with the issues. Around the same time Garcia started clamping down in those areas. Now they pay an exorbitant fee every month for security. The last one that stopped paying developed an unexplained electrical fire."

"A _security_ company. Interesting. So that's how we're getting in his way."

"The two guys in prison had different stories with the same punch line: they joined forces with two of the local most powerful gangs, tried to fight back and ended up in prison."

"What's interesting is the money trail. It's an intricate mix of companies and dummy companies that somehow doesn't lead back to him. This new security company is completely above board. Pays all its taxes and has its books audited by a reputable company. There's just no trace of him _anywhere_. He's got help from over his head; he doesn't have the power to do all that he's able to pull off on his own. Still have more questions to answer but we're getting there."

The next day after breakfast, we head back home. I'm already missing the hotel and life in the big city. It felt like another life, uncomfortable at first, but when I got used to it, really great. It was a nice vacation, short and sweet. I still feel like a little bit of a high from it.

Ranger interrupts my thoughts.

"Do you want to move into RangeMan permanently?" He asks.

"You mean give up my place?"

"Yes."

Wow. It probably isn't, but it feels like a _very_ big deal to me. I'm not sure.

"I'll have to think about it."

"Take your time."

Life is funny. If he'd asked me a couple weeks ago, I don't think I'd have hesitated. The more I know, the scarier it gets. He turns on music and we go off into our separate thoughts for the rest of the trip. Ranger seems a little different. I feel like something has changed between us, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Whatever it is, it's good.


	11. Cat and Mouse

**Cat and Mouse**

Things feel different at RangeMan. The stress is still there, but I'm not feeling it as much. I think I'm pretty much in a cocoon; I'm completely out of the loop. I'm now only dealing with mundane day to day office stuff, I don't know the latest on the Garcia battle – and I like it that way. Despite that, it's just not enough. I decide to take some time off, move back to my place and try to re-centre myself.

I've been putting this off, hoping I'll figure things out as I go along, but Ranger asking me to move in with him changed everything. Now I need to make a decision. It's not fair to him to leave him guessing.

He wasn't happy, but he let me go. I just have to do this. I need some space to think. I'll have my usual security detail, but at least I don't feel guilty anymore now that I know he can afford it.

I don't know what I was expecting to find when I got back to my place, but it wasn't what I got. Maybe I figured I would get a warm, fuzzy feeling, but that didn't happen. As I look at my familiar stuff, I feel empty and sad. Now I'm not sure what I so attached to. I tell myself maybe it's just withdrawal from all the activity at RangeMan, that I'll get the old feeling back, but so far that isn't happening.

The first day I just lounged around and did nothing but think. It still feels kind of strange to be cut off from all the activity, but I guess I'll get used to that. I'm in this deep funk that I can't shake; I don't know what to do.

Maybe it'll help if I reconnect with old friends. I call Mary Lou, I haven't talked to her in _ages_.

It's not long before I realise that we don't have much to talk about. I want to talk about what's going on with Garcia and RangeMan but I can't, and she wants to tell me what's new with her kids and what happened at Disneyworld. I try to keep up my end of the conversation, but there's nothing much I can say. She fishes around for a bit of information but there's nothing I want to put in the grapevine right now. As she drones on and on about other peoples' dull, pointless lives it comes home to me that I just can't do this. Garcia's out there tearing the Burg apart trying to change life as we know it and nobody seems to care. It's sad, but we don't seem to have much in common anymore. I can't believe I've changed so much. Was I really like that? So…clueless?

Later I hit the road to get some supplies. I load up on stuff to make sandwiches, donuts and tasty cakes. Maybe the sugar will help me think. It's kind of nice to have the freedom to eat whatever I want again.

When I get back, I lounge around watching TV. Garcia's on again, like he's been almost every night this week. What's with this guy? He's making the case for why and how he's going to clean up Trenton. I have to admit that he makes a solid argument. Hell, _I'd _believe him if I didn't know any better. He's a natural in front of the camera. Charming, yet firm, he looks like somebody you can really trust. He dismisses all the rumours about him as lies made up by his enemies to discredit him. He's totally believable. We're in _deep_ trouble.

The next day I decide to hang out with my family. I shuttle Grandma Mazur around, take her to a viewing and catch up on the latest Garcia gossip. He's like a rumour magnet – so many different stories about him that seem to contradict each other. I'm beginning to wonder if he's planting them himself.

Later at dinner, again the topic comes up.

"So what do you think about him?" Grandma Mazur asks me.

"I think he's bad news."

My mother strongly disagrees.

"He seems like a nice person," she says, "I'm glad you gave up your fight with him. I think he means well."

"And you base that on some television interviews?" I ask.

"Trying to clean up Trenton is a good thing, no harm in that."

We're losing this battle. People are beginning to repeat what he says word for word.

"What if that's not his real intention?"

"What would be his intention? Just because you don't like him doesn't make him a bad person."

I really want to talk to Ranger about this new development, but I can't. I feel like I'm out here on my own, even though I did it to myself. I feel so confused and I'm not sure what to do. My old life feels like an empty, hollow shell. Now that I know what I know about Garcia, how can I just sit by and let him do what he wants with us? This is too important and I can't do anything about it on my own.

When I get back to my apartment, I'm more lost than ever. What's surprised me the most about leaving RangeMan is how much I miss Ranger. I expected I would, but this is different. It feels like a constant, dull ache. Now I know how I would feel without him. One night when I especially miss him, I call him just to hear his voice. I get voicemail. That's a _very bad_ sign. I hope he hasn't given up on me. It's just that I can't rush this. I need to go through my process or I'll be back doing this all over again soon enough.

Days pass and I'm doing absolutely nothing. Somehow I'm stuck; I just can't make a decision. I've accepted that I'm scared, but I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I'm waiting on something, just not sure what. I'm watching TV stuffing my face with donuts when there's a knock at the door. It's Morelli.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Aren't you going to let me in?"

I open the door wider and let him in. "Be my guest."

He flops down in the sofa.

"So you're finally coming to your senses, you're starting to see what you got yourself into," he says, looking very smug.

I don't bother to respond.

"You bit off more than you can chew. It's time to come back to reality."

I still don't respond. I don't have anything to say.

"So what are you going to do now?" He continues.

"Does it matter?"

"It matters to me."

"Why?"

"Don't play games, you know why."

"Actually, no. I don't."

"Because I care about you, cupcake."

Yeah. Right. I stare at the TV.

"We can do this, we can get back together. It'll be just like old times."

"Let me see if I get this straight. We get back together, then what? _You_ continue just as you were, maybe even better – get your promotion. What's in this for _me_?"

"What promotion?"

"Stop trying to pretend Garcia didn't promise you anything."

"This is crazy."

"Please. Is your new buddy going to give me a job in his security company that's supposed to replace RangeMan?"

"What are you talking about?" That genuinely took him by surprise.

"Did it ever occur to you that he might be _using_ you?"

"I don't know what you mean. You need to stop listening that nut and his crazy conspiracies."

"Anyway, back on the subject, you still haven't explained what I would _do_."

"You can do whatever you like. It beats going to prison."

"Excuse me, is that a _threat_?" I say more sternly than I intended.

He looks at me strangely.

"You really have been hanging around him too long."

"I think the more interesting question is whether _you_ know what you've gotten yourself into. Be careful which side you're on."

"Now _you're_ threatening _me_?" He asks, incredulous. "I don't believe what I'm hearing."

"That was not a threat, more like a warning."

He has a look that's one part shock, one part confusion.

"What's gotten into you?" he asks.

"This Stephanie that you think will come back to you, doesn't exist anymore. I thought you'd have figured that out by now."

"What are you saying? That you're throwing in your lot with _him_?"

"I'm saying that I'm the least of your problems. You need to worry about what Garcia will potentially do to you if you don't deliver what he thinks you can. You better watch your _own _back."

He looks a little jolted by that. Seems like it never occurred to him. Good. I think I'm finally back.

After Morelli left I got my stuff together and head back to RangeMan. I've finally decided that there's nothing left for me here. The question is, will Ranger take me back. He asked me to move in with him and I left instead. I don't know how he'll deal with me; I just hope it isn't too late. Despite the risk of losing him I think it was better for everybody that I deal with my issues and figure out where my head is at. I think we're headed for dangerous waters and I don't want nagging fear and doubt getting in the way.

I'm sitting in the apartment at RangeMan nervous, wondering what's going to happen. I've steeled myself to take whatever comes. If he rejects me, I'll just have to live with it.

I hear his keys drop in the tray and my heart skips a beat. He looks at me and it's the first time I can remember seeing so much emotion on his face.

"I'm sorry for what I put you through," I say to him. "I just had to do this. I understand if you're angry with me, you have every right to be. But if you'll have me, I'm back."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm taking up your offer. Move into RangeMan permanently. Give up my place."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"What about Morelli?"

"We talked. There's nothing there."

"So all of that stuff is over."

"Yes."

He heads to the shower and I take a deep breath. I don't know how I'm going to regain his trust. I can see it in his face. The best I can do is just keep going and see what happens.

So I decide to make up for all the problems I've caused by throwing myself into my work, but there isn't anything to throw myself into. It's like life at RangeMan moved on without me. They've stabilised the break-in situation and I don't know how. I have no idea what's going on. I'd pulled away from everything before I went off on my own, now it's progressed way beyond me. I don't feel comfortable asking Ranger; things have been kind of icy between us. I'm beginning to wonder if this will work at all and I'm feeling sad and a little sorry for myself.

Well, since this was my fault, I've got to do something about it. I need to talk to Ranger. I find him in his office.

"What's going on with Garcia?" I ask, "How did you deal with the break-ins?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" he answers curtly.

"Yes. I know I've been a pain recently, but I want to help."

He sighs and leans back in his chair.

"We didn't do anything. It just stopped."

"Really? Why?"

"Who knows? Our current theory is that he's nervous about something."

That's weird.

"So what now?"

"Business as usual. We need to smooth a lot of ruffled feathers. If you really want to help, we can go see some clients."

After we see our clients we're back pouring over video of some of the break-ins. The images are dark, not very clear and I don't see much, but Ranger seems to make out a lot more than I can. We've been through reams of footage and I'm getting bored and a little cross-eyed. He's still focussed like he's just getting started. He zeros in on a frame. He plays it over and over in slow motion. He calls Tank and Hal and runs the frame again.

"See that? He point to some movement on the screen.

"It's him," Tank says.

For the life of me I can't make out anything.

Ranger is wearing his dangerous look. Whatever it is they picked up, it's kicked them into overdrive. They're like one mind and start packing. I don't have a clue what's going on and I suspect I don't really want to know.

So this is my life at RangeMan. Getting used to a lot of things going on around me that I'm not a part of, or don't understand. It scares the hell out of me, but I try to ignore the fear.

Since I've been back I've been feeling like an appendage and not very helpful. I'm going to try to make myself useful by getting to the bottom of what's making Garcia nervous.

I Call Constanza to find out what going on with Garcia.

"Something's weird," he tells me, "can't quite figure it out. He and Morelli were tight; now, not so much. They had some kind of heated argument and Morelli's pissed ever since. It's like the department is split down the middle, some for and some against Garcia. Lots of rumours flying, can't seem to get any straight facts."

"Take my advice, stay away from him," I warn him.

"That's what Morelli says. Garcia's getting this tight core of guys around him and we don't know what they're up to. I'm not sure about all of this."

Every time I think I'm starting to understand where Garcia's going with his plan, I discover something new. Is he really that good, or just as lost as me?

I try to plug back into RangeMan by going out with the team on the road, since it's the only way to get back into the inner circle. Ranger resists at first, but I dig in and insist and since neither of us wants to start a battle between us we find a compromise. I'll babysit the more nervous clients and in exchange I get to tag along. So it's late in the evening, we've bagged and dropped off a skip and are on our way back to RangeMan discussing what we've pieced together about Garcia so far.

"He really has the Burg eating out of his hand," I say, "Have you seen him on TV? He's really good. Very convincing; he'd make anybody believe he's acting in their best interest."

"He didn't get to where he is by playing coy," Ranger says, "He knows what he's doing. It's only a matter of time before he sets this place against itself."

"That's exactly what's happening in the department, the Cops are choosing sides," I add.

"And now he's using another security company as his front line; they're doing his dirty work," Tank says.

"Really?" I ask, this is news to me.

"We've been looking for them for days," Hank says.

So that's what they saw on the tape.

"It would make sense if he can't rely on the Cops so much now that his cover's blown," he adds.

"So his plan is to stop using the Cops to take us down and use our competition instead?" Tank asks.

This is confusing.

"So, let me get this straight. His plan was to take down RangeMan with the help of the Cops, then replace us with this competing outfit only to replace _them_ with his company? Sounds too complicated," I comment.

"He's not a complicated guy," Ranger says, "Looks like things aren't going according to plan."

"Guess he was right that you'd get in his way" I say.

"Well, he probably thinks –"

Something outside catches his attention. He stares for a second, slams on the brake, hops out and takes off across the street. Tank is right behind him. They head for a van pulling out of a side alley and while it's still rolling Ranger reaches into the passenger side, drags a guy out through the window and slams him against a wall. Tank goes after the driver. Hank takes the wheel of our vehicle and heads to the back end of the alley. I can't see anything in the dark from where we eventually stop. I try not to show what I'm feeling inside even though my heart is pounding and look passively though the window.

After a couple of minutes Ranger's voice comes over the radio.

"Take Steph back and meet up with us," he says to Hal.

Back at RangeMan I try to distract myself with work. It's already way into the night and hours since they're gone and I have no idea what's happening. I try not to worry and remind myself that I signed up for this life so I have to learn to suck it up. Times like these I'm grateful this place runs twenty four hours as I don't know how I'd make out if I had to be alone right now.

Around two in the morning Ranger finally turns up, looking quite relaxed.

"Thought you'd be in bed by now, Babe," He says, giving me a hug. I'm pleased that I'm back to Babe status up from Steph, which I've been since I'm back.

"I had some work to catch up on," I lie.

He smiles and gives me a long kiss. He starts nibbling my neck and we launch into a full – blown make out session, right there in my office.

I decide that night that make-up sex is awesome. It's never occurred to me to wonder if my office has security cameras, but I worry about it now. Even in the dark what those guys can see from footage is kind of nerve – wracking. I find out from Ranger that there are no cameras after all.

I've figured out that there's a reason why I feel so left out of the action. Ranger is purposely protecting me from what's going on. I sense there's a good reason and I trust him, but it's still unnerving. I'm not accustomed to leaving myself so totally in other people's hands. I guess we have to rely on our team. I tell myself that Ranger did the same thing when I implemented my plan to tackle Garcia, but somehow this feels different. Far more dangerous. I have this nagging feeling that something big is coming, and I'm worried about what that is.

I'm having breakfast when I get the call. It's Costanza. He sounds rattled.

"We've been looking everywhere," he tells me, "we can't find Morelli."


	12. Fear and Foreboding

**Fear and Foreboding**

I'm completely hysterical. On the inside I'm having something close to a nervous breakdown, but on the outside I'm silently gripping the phone in shock. I can't talk to Constanza right now. I hand the phone to Ranger.

I head to the bathroom so I can have my meltdown in peace. I'm picturing Morelli dead somewhere, probably a victim of an ambush like Ranger, but taken by surprise and unable to fight back. I can still feel the complete and utter fear that ran through me that night, sure we weren't going to make it. I stay locked away until I'm fully cried out; after the way I treated Ranger the last thing he needs is to see me lose it over Morelli.

There's a knock on the door.

"Babe, are you OK?" Ranger asks.

I swallow hard and try to control my voice.

"Yeah, I'm OK," I manage to say.

I pick myself up off the floor and try to pull myself together. I open the door.

"It's my fault. Morelli's dead and it's my fault."

"Babe, nobody knows what's happened to him. Why would you think it's your fault?"

I tell him about my conversation with Morelli.

"If I didn't tell him what I know about Garcia, he wouldn't have confronted him and this wouldn't have happened. I was just trying to warn him."

I choke back a sob. He wraps me in a hug.

"Don't do this to yourself. Costanza says they can't find his truck, that's a good sign. Maybe he just left town. You've got to keep positive. We're going to look for him."

I take a deep breath. Maybe he's right, Morelli kept telling _me_ to leave when he felt I was in danger, maybe that's what he did. I try to shake away the scary thoughts.

"I'm coming with you to help you look."

"No. Not a good idea."

"I'm coming!" I insist.

"It's too dangerous –"

"What am I supposed to do, just sit here and worry? That's all I seem to do around here! You leave, I don't know where you are, you're gone for hours, I don't know if you're coming back! Do you have any idea what that does to me?"

"Babe, you don't need to worry, I can take care of myself."

"See! You just don't understand!"

I push past him back into the bathroom and lock the door. My first instinct is to storm out of the building and get as far away as possible. I've already been down that road and didn't like where it led. Now I've got to confront my crisis. I can't do this anymore. These emotional extremes are just too much. I'm a nervous wreck. I've got to lock this emotional shit down. _Right_ _Now_.

I stay locked away for a long time just trying to calm myself down. By the time I come out, Ranger's already left.

When I eventually get downstairs there's a flurry of activity. Search teams are being organised, plans are being drawn up. I even see some Cops in on the action. Apparently with all that's going on with Garcia, they need somewhere on the outside to do the planning. I'm wondering if they're seeing the obvious flaw in their plan. RangeMan is not exactly neutral in this thing. They're declaring which side they're on just by being here. Maybe they just don't care anymore.

Everybody's assuming that this is Garcia's handiwork even though it makes absolutely no sense. He couldn't be crazy and blatant enough to deliberately do anything to harm Morelli, that would be too obvious. Or could he? At this point, I don't even know _what_ to think. I'm just barely trying to keep it together hoping that I didn't get Morelli killed. I don't get it. Why am I always doing this kind of stuff to people I care about?

I've been staring at the office walls for the past half an hour doing absolutely nothing. I can't think, I can't feel anything. I get up and walk around a bit. Things are busier than ever, there are a lot more people and activity but I don't get involved. It's like a part of me shut down and I'm just going through the motions. I decide to head back to the apartment; I could use some space and quiet right now. I don't really want to see or talk to anybody.

I bump into Eddie Gazarra in the corridor.

"How're you holding up?" He asks.

"Hanging in there."

"You're really calm about this; I thought you and Morelli were tight."

"It's not that I'm not worried, I'm just numb. I've been through a lot lately."

I desperately want to end this conversation; I really don't want to talk about this right now. I keep walking toward the elevator.

"Let me know if you hear anything," I say.

When I get back to the apartment I flop down in the couch and just stare at the ceiling. I let my mind drift and ignore the tears trying to suck me back into the deep emotional pit I've been fighting to stay out of for a while now. Morelli's just another nail in the coffin. One of these days I'm going to lose Ranger just like that.

Suddenly I can't breathe. Something is over my nose and mouth and I can't get any air. I fight as hard as I can, but I can't move. I'm trying to scream but it's just muffled sounds and I'm about to pass out.

I leap out of the dream with a start. I'm soaked through with sweat and shaking, gasping for breath. I've been asleep for a couple of hours, I had no idea I was so tired. Didn't I just get up? I'm slowly falling apart, I can feel it. I decide to have a shower and rejoin civilization; I can't be alone right now after all.

Nobody has news yet, not that I'm interested. I can't handle anything but good news right now, I'm feeling too fragile. I lock myself into my office and get back to work, trying to distract myself but not wanting to talk to anybody. After a while there's a knock on my door. It's Ranger.

"Babe, have you had anything to eat?"

Somehow I hear what he's saying but it's not registering.

"You OK?" he asks. He's looking at me with concern.

"I'm fine."

"We could have lunch upstairs –"

"No. I'm not hungry."

"It's after three, you should eat something."

"I'm fine!" I insist. Why doesn't he just leave me alone?

"Babe –"

I walk out of the office. Oh where, oh where, can I find some peace and quiet around here without being completely alone? I search high and low for somewhere I can melt into the background. I come across a door that I never noticed before. Strange, I thought I knew this place inside out. I try my key fob and it opens to a room packed from floor to ceiling with racks of guns, ammunition and weaponry of every description. Why don't I know about this? Looks like RangeMan's preparing for an invasion. I handle some of them to get a feel for them. This gives me an idea. It's been a while since I've practised at the gun range.

I bang out some of my frustration with a few rounds. I feel better. I do some more. This is kind of addictive. Hmm. I should get Ranger to give me a refresher on basic self defence. Maybe what I really need is to kick some serious ass.

I'm at it for a while when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I take off my ear muffs.

"If you keep going like this there won't be any bullets left in the country," Ranger warns.

"I need a self defence refresher," I tell him.

"When, _now_?"

"Why not?"

"Why don't you slow down a bit? Let's get something to eat. Ella's taking dinner up for us."

At dinner, we eat in silence for a while. Ranger looks like he wants to say something but isn't sure, while I'd rather not talk at all. I'm too busy pushing my food around my plate and trying to force something into my stomach. I'm really not very hungry.

"Your father dropped off something for you today," he says finally. He hands me a box filled with dessert.

"Courtesy of your mother."

_Now_ I'm hungry. I dig in. She's thinking of me! I'm almost moved to tears. Here I am feeling so alone and my family's worried about me. When the sugar hits my blood stream I feel so much better.

"I think I'm going to see her tomorrow," I say.

"Don't think that's a good idea. We're still not sure what we're dealing with out there. You should stay put."

Right. RangeMan the prison.

"He's winning," I say between bites. "I could tell from the moment I saw him on TV. I knew the tide was turning against us."

"It's always darkest before the dawn. I believe somebody important said that."

"I don't think it can get much darker than this."

"You'd be surprised."

I want to ask him about the weapons room, but I decide against it. I'm not sure I want to hear the answer right now.

"How bad do you think its going to get?" I ask.

"Judging from my previous experience with him, I'd say pretty bad."

"What do you think are the odds of him winning in the end?"

"Zero."

He studies me for a while.

"Babe, you shouldn't worry so much –"

I hold up my palm to stop him.

"Don't. Just don't."

I take my box, get up from the table and head to the TV. I'm not in the mood to be patronised right now. I'm fully aware of the danger, and I'm slowly trying to absorb it.

"Look, I gotta go. It's time for my shift to look for Morelli."

"OK," I say without looking up.

I call my mother to thank her for dessert. She wants to know what's going on with Morelli. While I talk to her it occurs to me that in the end it didn't matter who I chose to be with, I'd still face danger. If I was with Morelli, where would I be now? Ranger was right; this is bigger than all of us.

Early the next morning Ranger's taking me through my self defence lesson. I was really looking forward to this, it'll help me focus and not feel so much like a victim.

"I want to learn how to disarm someone with a gun, like you did," I tell him.

"I don't want you to focus on that right now; it takes a lot of training to get to that level of expertise."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Your goal should be to get out of harm's way."

"But _you_ put yourself in harm's way all the time."

"No. I don't put myself in situations above the threat level that I can manage; there's no point in taking unnecessary risks. That's suicide. It may _look_ risky because I'm trained to deal with a lot more than the average person."

I think about that for a bit.

"So you're saying that when you guys go out on the road you're not putting yourself in danger?"

"The danger is way below what we can handle."

"So you think the danger's coming to RangeMan?"

"Why would you think that?"

"The weapons room. What's that about?"

"It's good to be prepared."

"You think Garcia would come down that heavy on us?"

"Not him personally. His mercenaries."

"His _What?_"

"Remember when I said follow the money? Apparently that's where some of it goes, to enforcement. His own private army. They're connected somehow to his security company. They're a loose band of guys that are like guns for hire. They do other kinds of enforcement, from the street gang level to more sophisticated operations, but they pack a wallop. When they strike, they hit _hard_. We can't underestimate them."

"Do you think they could be involved in Morelli's disappearance?"

"Anything is possible at this point, so we have to tread carefully. That's why I don't want you going out right now."

Point taken.

"Do you think… RangeMan… can handle them? I mean, do think we have what it takes to beat them?"

He smiles a little.

"Babe, you have _no idea_ what I can do."

I bump into Costanza on the way to my office. He looks stressed.

"So, how're you making out with Garcia?" I ask.

"Not good. Anybody's who's not in his inner circle pretty much gets kicked to the curb. He blames us for why he couldn't take RangeMan down in the first place, that we wouldn't cooperate. That we're mixed up with you guys somehow. And you already know he's on TV saying he's trying to clean up corruption in the force."

"Well, your hanging around here isn't helping your case."

"I don't think it matters anymore. Right now here's probably the safest place for us in the Burg."

"So you're either for him, or against him, there's no in between."

"Yeah, pretty much. He's got a special place in his heart for _you_ though. He thinks somehow you're behind this Morelli thing. He thinks you're the connection between Morelli and RangeMan. And that's added to how you made him look bad, making him have to chase the guys around town."

"There is _no_ connection between Morelli and RangeMan."

"Try telling him that. When he gets something in his head, there's no getting it out. He can't listen to reason."

So I've got a bull's eye on my back. Ranger's right; I better not leave this place. I'm still curious about what put a halt to the brake-ins.

"Do you know why he's backed off from us? He was coming at us with all he's got and then it stopped. Do you know what's making him nervous?"

"Don't know for sure. Like I said, not in his inner circle. The way I see it, there're two main threats to him in Trenton. RangeMan and the Mob. I think he's got his hands full, something probably went wrong."

Around noon the guys come back with the news that they're giving up the Morelli search.

"What's going on?" I ask Ranger.

"We got a tip that he's OK, so we're moving on."

I feel my insides do a little dance.

"Are you sure? What if the info is wrong?"

"We're pretty sure."

"Do you know where he is? Have you seen him?"

"We don't _want_ to know. Garcia's looking for him; it's making things uncomfortable for him. So Morelli's well hidden. Our problem is that as soon as Garcia ties up this Morelli situation, he's coming for _us_ and we need to be ready."

I'm feeding my latest addiction at the gun range when it hits me. I know why Garcia stopped the break-ins. I know what's making him nervous.


	13. Quantum Leap

**Quantum Leap**

So I'm running different scenarios about where this thing with Garcia might be headed. I get Rodriguez to gather as much intel as he can to see if my hunch is right. I'm not going to say anything to Ranger until I'm absolutely sure.

Things are busier than ever at RangeMan. We're pulling twelve hour days trying to make sure we've got everything right. I've been feeling a lot better emotionally since I've confronted my fear and moved on. It hasn't really gone anywhere; I've just found a way to live with it and not make it run my life anymore. A great side effect is that it's making me enjoy the little moments I have with Ranger even more since I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

I've started to understand him a little more in the process. I get why he is the way he is and a lot makes sense now. I had no idea how much of a drag I'd become. Now that I've gotten a grip on myself he's less distracted, free to do what he does best. I can see how he really is. And I like what I see.

I talk to him about a concern I've been having recently.

"I'm really worried about my family," I tell him. "If things get really bad, can they stay here at RangeMan?"

"I don't think its going to come to that. Besides, you can't move _everybody_ you know in here. We're going to get a clean shot at taking him down before things get that desperate."

The building has become a fortress. It's virtually impenetrable from my point of view, but it's never enough for Ranger. There is always something he's thinking of, some improvement in the security. I think I have a fair idea of what it's like to live on a military base. We've done so many drills, I pretty much know what to do in my sleep. Strangely enough it's empowering. I didn't think I was cut out for this sort of thing, but I like it.

My obsession at the gun range is paying off. I've become a pretty good shot. I show off my skills to Ranger and he's impressed. Now I feel like I'm officially part of the team. He wouldn't put me anywhere near the front lines, but at least he's more confident that I can take care of myself to some extent.

It's so strange that so much is happening inside RangeMan, but to the outside world, nothing has changed. Life seems to going on as normal. I guess because RangeMan is my world now, I feel like everything is different. To everybody else, it isn't. Lula is the same as she always was. My mother, Grandma Mazur. Only Connie seems a bit more guarded and nervous.

In the afternoon Ranger comes in off the road much earlier than usual. He pops into my office wearing a roguish smile.

"What're you up to?" I ask. He looks delectable.

"Time to pack up for the evening."

"What's going on?"

"Let's go."

"Where're we going?"

"Upstairs."

_I'm game_.

We run into Tank on the way to the elevator.

"We need to talk about the specs for the –" Tank starts.

"Not now," Ranger says.

"But –"

"Handle it."

I'm really eager to know what's happening.

We step out of the elevator into the dimly lit apartment. The table is set for two, complete with candles, wine, dinner and – I give him a curious look – dessert? Something's _definitely_ up.

"What's this?" I ask.

"We're celebrating."

"Celebrating what?" I ask impatiently. I'm not a huge fan of suspense.

He insists that we sit and start dinner. I roll my eyes. Get to the point already.

After a pregnant pause for emphasis, he starts.

"You know about the Blackstorm deal?"

Who doesn't? Everybody who's anybody in security is after it. Who wouldn't want to work with a company that operates at the governmental level of private military and security like they do? They're legendary.

"Yeah, I heard about it. They're looking for a subcontractor to handle a big government security contract."

"We got it."

My jaw almost hits the table.

"_What?_"

This is _huge_. This deal would quadruple RangeMan's size overnight. It's a lot of money.

"How the hell did you pull that off?" I ask, still in shock.

"Cashed in a lot of favours and pulled a lot of strings. Been working on this for months."

Unbelievable. I let it sink in for a bit. I'm excited, scared and blown away all at the same time.

"This is it, Babe; this is what we've been waiting for."

"_Oh my God!"_

"We've got a lot of work to do. If we can't perform, we'll lose it. That's part of the deal."

"Do we have the manpower and resources to do this?"

He smiles. "That's never stopped us before."

_Seriously?_ I shake my head. We're already pulling twelve hour days as it is, how the hell are we going to take on a project of that size?

"I'm completely tapped out, I can't take on one more thing," I remind him.

"Like I said, if we can't do it, we lose it."

I feel like I'm missing something.

"You cashed in favours, but what did _you_ promise?"

He sighs.

"I had to offer something the competition couldn't. So I made available certain resources and assets that are internationally mobile."

"You made you and your men available for their security contracts abroad?"

He does his version of a shrug.

"Isn't this what we're trying to move _away_ from? _Jesus_. Does this involve combat?"

He doesn't answer.

I feel like banging my head on the table.

"Well?"

"You've got to give to get Babe, that's how it works. Besides, they'll pay us a ton to do it."

"So we're going to be trying to handle all of this with Garcia breathing down our necks? Can you get their help to make him stop?"

"No. when it comes to him we're on our own. And you can bet he won't be happy about this. Nor will our competition. They're going to make it their life mission to take us down."

I stare at him speechless. I mean, what do I say to that? Overwhelmed doesn't come close to describing how I feel right now.

"I hope you know I'm expecting –"

"Babe, if we pull this off, you can pretty much have _whatever_ you want."

I stare at my dinner, not feeling particularly hungry. We're moving from a hundred to a thousand miles per hour in sixty seconds, flying blind. I wonder how long it would take me to finish that bottle of wine? Time to find out. I drink straight from the bottle.

I'll admit that I get a little nuts when I drink. The wine makes me giddy, I can't stop giggling. I feel this heat inside; I'm crazy turned on and feel compelled to do something about it. I'm heading for Ranger tipsy as hell, instead I bump into the table. Well it's in my way, so I climb over it. I find myself licking my lips just looking at him. Yum. I grab on to his vest with both hands and drag him toward me. Dishes are flying everywhere. I'm kissing him with such intensity I can't focus on balance; I soon discover through my tipsy haze that chairs weren't designed for being pounced on from tables. We go crashing to the floor. God, I hope I didn't kill him. What the hell, I've seen him do worse tackles. I'm like a tiger now, tearing into him. Why the hell does he wear so much stuff? It's taking forever to rip it all this shit off.

I'm on a high. We're one giant mix of excitement, adrenaline and testosterone. Rolling around, me scratching and biting, him pleasuring me in ways I've fantasized about. The table, the floor, the bed. We work our way around the apartment. Finally, I'm thoroughly worked over and completely spent. Sweaty and exhausted, I'm drifting off.

"How's this for irony," I hear Ranger say somewhere in my half-asleep, contented fog. "It was Garcia's campaign against us that got us noticed in the first place. We were so far below the radar, but he made us visible. We owe him a debt of gratitude."

That cracks me up. I burst out laughing.

"I'll try to remember to send him a thank-you note."

"I'm sending him another package. Time to shake him up a bit."

If my hunch is right, that will just be another kick where it hurts. He's going to get pretty desperate.

Next morning I awake to him leaning over me. I smile and give him my best 'come hither' look. He smiles back. I grab on to his shirt and try to drag him back into bed.

"Babe –"

"Come back to bed."

"Do you know what time it is?" he asks, amused.

"Yeah, Time for round two."

He laughs.

"I'd love to take you up on that, but I have a meeting in ten minutes. You should really be in on it, but you can sleep in."

Damn it!

"I can't, I have too much to do."

I drag myself out of bed and trip over a broken lamp on my way to the shower. I survey the damage. Looks like a tornado ripped through the place. I see my reflection. My hair is wild.

"You can pop in when you're ready," he says, "we should be in there for a while."

"Don't know when I'm going to get down there, I've got to straighten up this place, then take a shower," I say slipping on a dressing gown and heading for the dining room. There are clothes, broken plates and wine glasses, various miscellaneous items, dinner and dessert smeared everywhere.

"Ella'll take care of it," he answers.

"Are you _kidding me?_ I can't let Ella see this!"

I start tidying up.

"Besides," I add, "all this broken glass might damage her."

"So you're going to clean up before she comes to clean up."

I tug at one of my shoes that's wedged into the wall by the heel.

"Could you get that?" I point to the overturned couch. "I'll get there as soon as I can."

He stifles some laughter, gives me one of his awesome kisses and he's gone.

I didn't make the meeting after all.

Later I set about developing a plan for our new project. I barely know what I'm doing but I've kind of gotten used to that by now. So I start with what I do know. We've got a huge number of locations to service and we have nothing close the level of manpower we need. I need more help to do the office work; I could pull some sales people off the road to help with that. I need more IT people to deal with the alarm response systems. I've never dealt with anything of this scale before and I need help from somebody who knows the business. But who? I don't know anybody who operates at this level, and I need people who know this better than me. With the Garcia situation it's even more risky to take on new people right now, we need people we can trust. In any case, finding people who have the skills and can pass Ranger's intensive vetting and security screening process is next to impossible. When I tell Ranger about my concerns, he's no help.

"That's _your_ job Babe, I've got my hands full helping Tank find new guys."

"But Tank has your help, what about me?"

He kisses me on my forehead.

"You'll figure it out," he says and moves on.

What do I do? I think about it a lot and I'm really starting to get frustrated when it finally hits me. Why reinvent the wheel? What I need to do is take people from competing firms.

So far things are going to plan. I know that's only temporary, but I've learned to live in the moment. With all I've been through, I'd be a complete nervous wreck if I worried about everything.

It turns out my hunch was right. It was something my mother said about Connie's relatives and New York. Rodriguez confirmed that the Mob is seriously bringing the heat to Garcia in the Bronx. The stories are horrifying and really making a dent in his organisation. They seem to know a lot of detail about how he operates and it appears that he was taken completely off guard. His plans are clearly off track for now. If his organisation survives this, which it might, he's going to be truly merciless.

I update Ranger on the new information. He doesn't look terribly surprised.

"He's not a happy camper right now," He comments.

"Tell me about it. How are we supposed to execute on our plan with him out there? He's probably a raving lunatic by now."

"One day at a time, Babe."

"Do you think he'll give us some space now that he's occupied?"

"He's fighting a lot of fires right now, but even if it's with the last breath in his body, he's coming for us. That you can be _sure_ of. We just need to make it difficult for him."

As things progress, I decide to promote Rodriguez to head of IT. He's been doing a great job with intelligence and since he has contacts in the IT world I put him in charge of recruiting new people for that area. He's now my right hand man. Ranger's got Tank, I've got Rodriguez.

Word has got out about the deal and that RangeMan is sucking up the best talent in the security business. We've made new enemies, especially with our competitors. We can offer double what they can and they can't compete.

"I notice you're rattling a few cages with the competition," Ranger remarks at lunch. "Are you sure you can handle their bite?"

"I figured the risk can't get much worse, so we may as well get something out of it and give ourselves a fighting chance. We can't do anything without the manpower."

He looks amused. "Babe, you surprise me every day. I like that."

Later I get a call from Lula.

"Connie's split," she tells me, "we need help."

"Where is she?"

"Don't know…don't _want_ to know."

Yeah, there's a lot of that going on recently.

"Do you know what she's worried about?"

"She been weird lately, won't tell me nuttn'. Some strange stuff going on."

"Like what?"

"People we don't know hangin' 'round, look like they watchin' us or supm'n. Don't like it. Don't look like they from 'round here neither. One o' them say sup'm to her and she got spooked, wouldn't tell me what he said. We need help!"

"What do want me to do?"

"Send somebody! We need security."

There's nothing I can do. Our guys are already running double shifts as it is.

"I can't help right now."

"Then what we supposed to do?"

"Be careful."

"Yeah, you got to the big times and foget 'bout the little people."

"Don't try that crap with me. You weren't even there when I started with Vinnie, I don't owe you anything."

That was harsh. I immediately feel bad right after I say it; I know she's just scared. It's just that people have been using guilt a lot on me lately since word got out that we landed the deal, trying to get me to do what they want. Seems like they think I'm rolling in a pile of dough or I'm all powerful or something. It's getting old. I heave a deep sigh.

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry, I'm just a little stressed. I can't promise anything, but I'll see what I can do."

I really try, but I can't send anybody. We just don't have enough manpower to spare. A few days later I get the news. Vinnie's office has been firebombed with everybody inside.


	14. The Big Leagues

**The Big Leagues**

I'm roaring mad. Thank God they got out OK! But how dare he do this! He trapped them, knowing they couldn't call the Cops for help. Now he's gone too far. Time for us to do something about this! We've waited long enough, I rant to Ranger.

I don't tell him that I'm hopelessly wracked with guilt and feel like it's my fault. Lula asked for help and I couldn't give it. They could easily have been killed. I would have had to live with that.

"This message wasn't meant for _us_, Babe," he says.

"What do you mean?"

"This is not our fight. Wait and what see what happens. We'll soon get our shot."

He was right. The day after, the Mob strikes, firebombing Garcia's house. This begins an unholy guerrilla war between the Mob and Garcia, stretching from Trenton to the Bronx. He violated the sacred Mob code: never target family, extended or otherwise.

Unfortunately, he's proving to be a tough nut to crack. He sells the firebombing of his house on the news as an attack on law and order. It was as if this was his plan all along; now he's been given a lot of space to do whatever he wants. In addition to that, his extended unofficial army and sheer number of supporters are way bigger than anybody realised. He's winning the battle in the court of public opinion.

Rodriguez tells me later that the Bronx cops were pissed that they thought they got rid of him and yet find themselves consumed with dealing with his mess in their jurisdiction. So he has resistance there. They're now teaming up with the resistance in his department to figure out a way to deal with him. It's a mess. He's fighting too many battles all at once. On the surface, Garcia seems to be winning, but behind the scenes, he's running out of options. Not a moment too soon, this thing is getting out of hand and getting in the way of business.

We're pushing as hard as we can, but it's getting more and more difficult to fulfil the requirements of the deal with Blackstorm. We're running out of people to hire that meet our criteria and we are still a way off from having enough manpower. We've given up everything else and focussed completely on it, but it's not enough. I'm beginning to get really worried, we're falling behind. Ranger and I have been getting little sleep and there's no end in sight to our challenges.

"Maybe we bit off more than we can chew," I confess to him.

"Blackstorm wants to meet with us," he says, "I'm hoping they're not getting nervous about our performance. Unfortunately they won't come here; we have to go to their office."

Despite everything that's going on, I don't mind going out. I could use some fresh air; I've been locked up in here a long time.

"It's dangerous out there," he continues, "I wish you didn't have to come but I need you to deal with the parts that you handle."

He's normally pretty intense, but it's not often he looks _this_ serious.

"We'll take Tank right?" I try to reassure him, "It's just for a short time, shouldn't be so bad. Garcia's preoccupied, we should be able to slip out and back in again without hitting his radar."

They do it all the time. He doesn't respond. I feel there's more he's not saying.

As we get ready for the meeting Ranger is in a zone. I guess that's what he's like when he's worried. I figure it's bad, but I've never seen him like this. If he had his way, he'd dress me head to toe in Kevlar. He's strapping me with weapons I barely know how to use under my outfit. He says it's just in case. I'm not sure how that will help, but if it makes him feel better, I'll go along with it.

We head out in total silence, me him and Tank. They're constantly scanning the road, they tense up when they stop for a light, or even sometimes when they turn a corner. Is it like this when they're on the road, or is just because I'm here? Ranger has been really overprotective of me lately, like I'm made of glass.

By the time we're a few blocks away, I'm really stressed out. Just watching them is freaking me out. I tell myself we're almost there. Just a few –

_Pop pop pop pop pop!_

"Get down!" Ranger yells.

We hit the deck. He steps on the gas. They're still coming after us. He tears up the sidewalk into the front section of an unfinished building. We jump out of the Explorer and duck behind a low wall. Now I hear automatic weapons fire. It's like nothing I ever heard before. I'm shaking, but I try to remember what Ranger taught me. Ignore the fear and focus on the moment. It's about survival, getting to the other side of this. We're crouched low, with our backs against the wall.

"Where's it coming from?" He asks Tank, who has a better line of sight.

"One at your twelve o'clock, two at three o'clock behind a vehicle across the road."

Ranger slips a small mirror out of his pocket and finds his first target.

_Bam Bam Bam!_

There's a lull in the gunfire for a moment, then it gets heavier.

"Reinforcements," Tank says.

"Shit." Ranger pulls out his radio and calls for backup. He looks at me. "It's going to take them a while; they've got to fight their way through this. You OK?"

I nod and try not to look too panicked. I guess this is his worst fear. This happening while I'm there. Something happening to me. _Welcome to my world,_ I think. Half the times he goes out I don't know if he's coming back.

Somehow I feel a little calmer than I did earlier. I'm holding my gun and taking deep breaths.

"Here we go," he says.

He and Tank try to pick off the men one by one. We're heavily outnumbered and outgunned. I'm beginning to wonder if we're going to make it through this.

From my vantage point I can see a shadow inching closer to us behind the Explorer, circling from the other side. Ranger and Tank have their hands full. I can now see the legs underneath. If I don't do anything he'll eventually get to us. I get on the ground and aim for the legs.

_Bam Bam!_

Bull's eye! He crumples to the ground and we can see him under the vehicle. I knock the gun out if his hand with another bullet. Damn, I'm good!

Ranger stares at me for a couple seconds as if to say _who are you?_

I give him a non-committal shrug.

Our reinforcements eventually arrive and lay down some serious firepower.

Ranger calls Blackstorm to tell them that we're taking heavy fire but we'll soon be there.

I look at him flabbergasted. _Seriously? _

Less than five minutes later, it's over. I thought I would have had a meltdown in a situation like this, but I didn't. I kept my head and actually helped. After we deal with the cops, who conveniently turn up a full half hour after the ordeal, we change vehicles and leave for our meeting.

On the way, I tackle Ranger about the call.

"You call them during a fire fight? Why on earth would you do that?"

"We're going to be late."

"So?"

"They're accustomed to people checking in no matter what happens. Anything short of death or hospitalization wouldn't justify how late we're going to be."

What kind of company _is _this? If they see what we just went through as barely a reasonable excuse for being late, I don't know what to think.

I'm a bit of a mess when we get to the meeting, but it's understandable under the circumstances. I'm not sure what to expect; with a company of their reputation I guess I imagine a bunch of super people. But they all look normal; just very serious, like Ranger. No small talk here. As we walk in, there's a stir in the room and everyone stares at me. I guess I wasn't what they expected. When Ranger called there was automatic weapons fire in the background, so maybe they expected someone more military. Instead they get me, fresh from a gun battle in a crisp Armani business suit and super high Christian Louboutin stilettos. The looks on their faces are a mixture of surprise, admiration and respect. Feels very empowering.

Eventually I get why he called when he did, it seems to have had the desired effect. We prepared like crazy to be raked over the coals for falling woefully behind on our implementation schedule, but the subject never came up. Instead they were more interested in the details of what just happened. There was also some light questioning about our goals and how we plan to deal with this obvious delicate situation we have unfolding on the ground. I get the feeling they know all the intricacies of what's going on with Garcia, they are in the intelligence business after all. Ranger skilfully handles that, while I talk about our future plans for implementing the security measures we agreed to. It was a huge success. We were handled with quiet respect.

For me, it was a heady experience. To be treated as an equal in that kind of company is doing wonders for my ego. Despite my near death experience, I'm actually on a high. I think I'm getting a window into Ranger's world, understanding why he does what he does.

We're heading back to RangeMan, and I'm trying to talk Ranger into stopping by Vinnie's. It's a hard sell as the one thing on his mind right now is to get me back to safety. It's unlikely we'll be attacked again but he doesn't want to take any chances. I strongly hint that if he doesn't take me I'll go on my own, so he caves.

A wave of emotion hits me when we pull up to the burned out shell of Vinnie's Bail Bond. An overpowering dose of guilt mixed with sadness, nostalgia and fear. I head inside and Ranger pulls me back.

"We're done here," He says in his this–is–not–open–for–discussion voice. He literally stuffs me in the front seat and we take off.

I can't believe how mean I was to Lula and when she asked for my help, I couldn't give it. In the emotional tug of war going on in my head, sadness finally wins out.

I literally see Ranger exhale when we pull into RangeMan. I can tell this is it for me. I think I'm on semi-permanent lockdown until this thing is resolved. Ranger is going to see to that.

We're bursting at the seams at RangeMan. With so many new people, we're rapidly running out of space. I'm falling even further behind, I'm so tired. Just when I feel like I'm totally done and I have nothing left to give, Rodriguez summons me to a meeting.

He and his team have come up with an ingenious way to deal with our challenges. They're using new software and a complicated scheduling system that should increase our manpower effectiveness by at least a third. I don't understand half of it, but I'm impressed. Our service level should improve significantly and we'll be able to clear our backlog. They also have a plan to reconfigure the office so we'll have more space. I congratulate him after the meeting; he's doing a great job. It actually makes my day, I feel lighter and slightly re-energised. We may pull this off after all.

After a couple of hours, I decide to take the rest of the day off and get some rest. I'm worn out to the bone and I'm no good to anybody like this.

When I get to the apartment I catch up on my messages. I call back Lula to see how she's holding up. She's not doing well, she says, suffering from post traumatic stress and a chronic lack of money. Vinnie should be OK, he should get his insurance money. She's not. Since the bonds office is closed, she has no income. She even goes as far as to suggest that she's seriously thinking of going back to her former hooking profession. I suppress a sigh; there goes the guilt again. Apparently it's the new weapon of choice for dealing with me. Garcia has the wrong idea. It seems this works better on me than any amount of bullets.

So I give in and offer her money. This is part of my new life, writing cheques. I've been doing _a lot_ of that lately. It's not that I have a problem with that; it's the manipulation and the use of guilt that bugs me. I'm not broke; I make good money and RangeMan still pretty much covers all my expenses so I don't really have to spend on anything. But I'm starting to feel like a bank machine. _Ask Stephanie, she'll fix it._ Sometimes I wonder if they care about _me_ anymore. Almost everyday somebody calls me with a new crisis.

Now isn't good time to try to figure this out, I'm too tired.

I nap for a couple of hours, then I'm watching TV when Ranger walks in. He joins me on the couch.

"I've got good news and not so good news."

"Good news first."

"Blackstorm agreed to revise our implementation schedule to give us more time to catch up, so we're good for now. You were great in there by the way."

"Thanks. What's the bad news?"

"The guys we ran into weren't Garcia's official guys. That wasn't the real deal."

"Wow. I wonder what that would be like. Who were they?"

"A mishmash of competitors and some guys with old grudges. We're not entirely clear. What's strange is that we're on the road a lot and this hasn't happened before. The one time you're with us…I don't think it's a co-incidence."

"Are you saying they're after _me_?"

"Just don't leave RangeMan, for _any reason_. We clear on that?"

"Yeah."

I'm not anxious to go through that again. I don't get why they see me as so important. Unless they figure that's the best way to get to Ranger. I don't think Garcia wants him dead, just co-operating. Not a fun thought. His plans are changing somehow. Maybe we're getting too big for him to take out so easily. Or maybe it's Blackstorm.

"By the way," I tell Ranger, "spoke to Lula and Vinnie today."

"How're they doing?"

"They're OK. Vinne wants a job. He was thinking we could use his services."

He's trying not to laugh.

"What did you tell him?"

"That we'd think about it."

Later that night I'm getting ready for bed when I get a call. It's Morelli.

"Morelli! Where are you? Are you OK?"

"I'm in trouble Steph, I need your help."

"What's happening? Where are you?"

"Can't talk here. Can you meet me?"

"Now?"

"Yes."

"I can't leave right now."

"But you're the only person I can trust. I need you to do something."

"I'll get Ranger, he –"

"No! Don't do that! I can't explain right now, you have to trust me. I just need you to do one thing for me."

"But –"

"Look, I don't have a lot of time. There's a lot going on that you don't know. You're not a safe as you think. Leave right now –"

"I _can't_. It's too dangerous."

"Do you know how many times I put myself in danger for _you_? You'd call me and I'd be there at the drop of a hat. Now I need your help and you can't do this _one_ thing for me?"

Again, the _guilt_. Will this ever end?

His voice drops to a whisper. "Don't argue about this, just _do_ it."

He's right. I owe him. I can't count the times I was reckless and could've gotten him killed and took it for granted. I look at the time, it's after ten. I know I should tell Ranger about this, but I'm not sure what to do. He'd never understand and I can't expect him to. Just one more lose end from the old, irresponsible Stephanie that needs to be tied up. I trust Morelli; he'd never do anything to harm me. Some debts just have to be repaid. Isn't that part of the code?

"OK. Where do you want to meet?"

I start to get ready.


	15. Growth

**Growth**

I finish getting ready, grab my gun and head out to the parking lot. I try not to run into anybody on the way that would ask too many questions. I'm almost at the vehicle when I hear a sound behind me. I turn around and I'm facing Ranger.

"Where are you going?"

"Am I under surveillance now?"

"I asked you a question."

"I'm going to help Morelli. He called. He needs my help."

That was not the answer he expected. He's taken a back for a second, probably wondering if I'm a lunatic. It's a fair question.

"By _yourself_?"

"I didn't think you'd understand."

"I don't. Where is he?"

"He told me where to meet him."

"Do you understand what we're dealing with here? I thought you got this but apparently you don't."

"I owe him."

"Do you plan to pay him back with your life?"

_Well, since you put it that way…_

He shakes his head.

"I know I can't stop you, so I'm coming with you."

We're on our way and I feel like a complete idiot for deciding to go out by myself to try to help Morelli. It's just that I can't seem to help myself when people use guilt on me. It's a major weakness I haven't been able to deal with. It might be my undoing, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try to help and something happened to Morelli. I learned that with Vinnie and Lula.

I think Ranger is disappointed in me and I feel bad that he figured this would happen, so had me under surveillance. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere, it's like I took two steps back.

"What do you do when people try to manipulate you?" I ask him, "It's like I can't help myself. I try, but I cave every time."

"You learn to say no."

"What if I don't try to help and something bad happens? Lula asked me for help and I couldn't give it. Look what happened."

"You couldn't have stopped that, it would have happened anyway. I'm glad you didn't try to, it could've dragged us into a fight that wasn't ours."

"I didn't see it that way."

"You need to remember you have a large team that's depending on you. Running off to help one person in distress can put everyone else in jeopardy. Many times when they ask for help they don't know what they're really asking. The trouble it can cause. They're only focussed on the panic they feel at that moment. You can't allow yourself get dragged into that."

He's right. That helps a lot; puts things into perspective.

We pull up to the spot Morelli said and I hop out. I see him coming toward me out of the shadows and stops short when Ranger appears. I'm really glad to see him although he's really disappointed. If Ranger wasn't there I'd run to him with a hug. Instead I greet him casually.

"What's going on? You seem OK."

"I'm not. I've got to get out of here, it's not safe. I don't have an army to protect me like you do."

"Garcia threatened you?"

He glances at Ranger.

"It's a long story. Things are going to get much worse. I'm taking an extended leave of absence until this blows over."

The whole thing is getting really awkward. Him not saying what he really wants to say, Ranger not leaving my side for a second. In fact, he's standing a little _too _close. Does he think Morelli's going to grab me and run?

"You need my help?" I ask Morelli.

"You've got a spy," he says, changing the subject.

"At RangeMan?"

"Yes."

"Do you know who it is?"

"No, but I'm sure of it."

There is obviously more he wants to say but not in front of Ranger. He gives up.

"Look I gotta go."

Ranger promises to meet up with him before he leaves. I can tell by his tone that he plans to help him out. It's the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever had.

"Do you think Morelli's right, that we have a spy?" I ask, on the way back.

"Anything is possible, especially with a lot of new people. It would explain the attack on the way to our meeting; they seemed to know we were coming."

"And why nothing happened when we went to talk to Morelli."

"Because nobody knew."

"What do we do?"

"Flush him out."

The next day, we get to work on flushing out our spy. We devise a plan to feed information to different departments, with heavy emphasis in the groups that have a lot of new people, to see what happens.

I decide to meet with Rodriguez to get an update on how we're doing with our implementation plan. I've been letting things slip a little lately since I feel they have it under control, but with this new problem I need to dig back into the details.

I do a double take when he walks into my office. I've been noticing that since his promotion he's changed. He's more relaxed and composed and over time, he's been slowly changing his look. Today, he's _nailed_ it. Wow. He kind of gives me the feeling of a younger version of Ranger except for the sleeves of tattoos running down his arms. I must admit, he wears his new look well.

Halfway through our meeting Lilly joins us. She's been taking on a lot of responsibility lately and doing really well. I'm pleased that more women are coming into RangeMan, helps to tone down the testosterone a bit. The unfortunate side effect is that the men are getting a bit distracted. Take Lilly for example, staring doe–eyed at Rodriguez. I _really_ hope that wasn't what I looked like around Ranger.

It's clear that they have some chemistry between them and it makes me wonder what Ranger and I look like together from the outside. I never actually thought about that before. I wonder if that was part of the reason I got so much resistance in RangeMan at first – if I looked like Lilly, suddenly swooping in from nowhere trying to tell everybody what to do.

I'm pleased that his department has been on a tear recently. I'm not sure how he did it, but we're almost back on schedule and we're looking really good. He gives Lilly a lot of credit; she has a lot of training and experience in the area. They look like me and Ranger. Feels kind of weird, like looking in a mirror.

I've known Lilly from high school. She's very good at what she does, so I decide to take her under my wing and work more closely with her. That has the added advantage of letting her walk me through all the changes and new systems so I have a better grasp on what we're doing.

The funny thing is, despite everything, things are looking up. Because of the war going on between Garcia and the Mob, our services are in high demand. People are beginning to get worried about the crime rate and are taking precautions. Since we have the highest profile right now, they seem to think of us first. Our contract with Blackstorm doesn't give us enough space to take on some of the new business, but I figure if we could, we would pick up enough to double our current size. Right now we're turning back a lot of business. It seems we're going to be the big winner out of this, if we can keep things the way they are and stay out of the fight.

As for me, I'm in a great mood. Things have been going my way for once. After the struggle to get to where we are I'm finally feeling like I can breathe a little.

It's beginning to look like the leak is coming from the operations side of the business as I suspected. It was just a matter of time until one of those guys gave in to Garcia's influence. Some strange things have been happening with the men on the road and Ranger's trying to get to the bottom of it. It seems that soon after we set up our systems, alarms are triggered and after the guys come to deal with it, a security breach is discovered later. It ranges from hacking into confidential files to actual theft of expensive specialised equipment, to erasing critical information that take weeks to recapture. Fortunately, the attacks are always different and the clients don't seem realise it's a problem, so we need to get on top of it before they start to recognise the pattern. We didn't even see it ourselves until we started looking for a spy. It was random and felt like regular implementation problems at first; lots of people take advantage of security changeovers to mess around or steal because there are sometimes security glitches while the kinks are worked out. This is something we need to fix as we can't let it become a problem for Blackstorm.

I try to think through who our spy could be. When we were ambushed on the way to Blackstorm, they hit us when we were almost there. I feel like that's significant in some way. Was it that it took time to get their troops together, or was it that the communication from our side came in late? Then there's something else. If you were on the backup team, would you set up a fire fight knowing full well that you would eventually get caught up in it? That'd be risky and I know our guys aren't crazy, even though you could arrange it so you're reasonably safe. But there are no guarantees. Like Ranger said, they're not in the habit of intentionally putting themselves at unnecessary risk. So where could the leak have come from? I'm trying to work through it by process of elimination and not liking where it's going.

Ranger confirms my worst fears. He says the issues we are currently having on the road stems from the office. From what he can see, our saboteur is in the building. They've been trying to throw us off their trail by creating so much confusion that it's hard to get to the core of what the problem really is.

"I think the problem is on your side, Babe."

"I just can't understand _how_. Right now we're running like a well oiled machine; I've been through everything in detail and I can't see a snag."

"Unfortunately, this one is up to you."

Later, I get Rodriguez and we plough into each case to see what we can find. He suggests that we go meet with some of the clients to see if we can get more information, but because of my personal security risk, that option is off the table. This one of those times Garcia irritates me, locking me into a cage while he runs a rampage on the streets and with our livelihoods.

The biggest irony of all is that he's probably trying to get me out of the building, but all his actions are doing the opposite. Dealing with Garcia has been turning out to be one giant paradox.

We've been at it for hours and I'm totally worn out. We're looking for patterns; anything that can give us a clue or point us in a direction. So far nothing. I sit back in my chair, frustrated.

"What are we not seeing?" I ask out loud. "I feel like it's there staring us in the face but we're missing it."

"I don't know where else to look," Rodriguez admits.

I suddenly have a mental picture of my mother.

"If you can't find it where it's supposed to be, look where it shouldn't be."

He looks at me questioningly.

"My mother used to tell me that when I couldn't find my toys. We need to look in the last place we expect. Where does this all overlap? What do they all have in common? _Who_ do they all have in common?"

It hits us both at the same time. We look at each other on horror.

I call Ranger and ask him to meet us in the boardroom. The evidence was there all along, we just didn't want to see it.

When Ranger walks into the room, he stops short when he sees Rodriguez and gives him a strange look. Then he turns attention to Lilly.

"What exactly were you thinking?" He asks her.

She sulks, but doesn't answer.

"What did Garcia promise you?" I add.

She gives me resentful look. She's like an animal caught in a trap.

"You fed me a lot of false information, giving me the impression that everything was under control while you were manipulating me the whole time! What kind of person _are_ you?"

"That'll teach you to check your facts. You're way in over your head. You're not qualified for this job," she responds.

"I can't believe this! Of all the people in this entire place, it had to be a woman? It's virtually all men here and it had to be you. Why?"

"You wouldn't understand. You sit there in your cushy little office while we do all the work," she snarls at me, "With your designer outfits! What makes _you_ so special?"

I'm speechless, completely in shock.

"You used to roll around in _garbage_ bounty hunting, so high and mighty now, why don't you just–"

Before I realise what I'm doing, I slap her hard across the face.

I feel Ranger grab my belt from behind and pull me back.

"Calm down," he whispers, "She's just pushing your buttons."

I'm so angry, I'm shaking. I want to scratch her eyes out.

She's angrier than ever.

"You're just _lucky_ to have it all drop in your lap," she literally spits at me, "Just like you, I saw an opportunity and I took it. We're going to set up a rival company and kick your asses."

Rodriguez is staring at her with a dark look in his eyes. This hits him on so many levels.

"That's enough," Ranger says, "You'll be escorted to your desk to gather your things and out of the building."

I head back to my office before I burst a blood vessel.

I'm completely shaken up by what just happened. The venom and vitriol was unbelievable. Like she had a _personal_ beef with me. What she said hurt and really got under my skin. Is that really the impression out there, that I'm just _lucky?_ After all I've been through? I fought for every inch of space I got with the men and a _woman_ tries to undermine me? This is such a betrayal of my own kind. That I'm disappointed is an understatement. Try devastated.

A dark cloud hangs over me for the rest of the day. I've never had to fire anybody before and it doesn't feel good. Despite what she did, it's just not what I'm about. Maybe I'm just not strong enough for this. Why does it bother me so much?

Later Ranger stops by my office to see how I'm doing.

"I feel awful," I confess to him.

He comes over and gives me a hug.

"Hate to break it to you Babe, but this won't be the last time."

"That I'm betrayed?"

"Don't take it so personally. Not everyone can handle other people's success, they feel left behind. She's known you a long time; she just couldn't adjust to who you are now."

Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better. I've had enough. The guilt, the manipulation and now this? It's like I'm creating enemies everywhere. How did this happen? I was so busy, I came up for air and everything changed. I don't have friends anymore. Most people I talk to want something from me. I feel isolated and alone. I'm not used to that.

A call comes in from Tank.

"Gotta roll. We'll take this up later, OK?"

"Yeah."

I sit at my desk wondering what to do next. I don't have anybody to talk to that would really understand what I'm going through. Even though he makes an effort for my sake, Ranger isn't big on this whole emotional stuff. I could go upstairs and give in to my feelings or I could do some more work. I don't like the mental picture of myself moping around the apartment depressed, so I decide to throw myself into work. Lord knows, there's no shortage of that. After Lilly, there's a lot of mopping up to do.

There's a knock on my door and Rodriguez's head pops in.

"Got a minute?" he asks.

"Sure."

"I'm really sorry about what happened. I feel terrible. I had no idea…"

I can tell he's hurt.

"It's not your fault, you couldn't have known. Anyway, Ranger vetted her and signed off on her as well, and I took her under my wings. We were _all _fooled."

"I wish there was something I could do to make up for all the trouble."

"Don't worry about it," I reassure him.

That's interesting. I never thought about the fact that it was a team effort. We all signed on to this. I don't feel so bad after all. They're just some people that are toxic and must be avoided.

That night I get a call from Morelli.

"How's your plan going?" I ask him.

"Moving on it tonight."

"Thanks for the heads up; you were right. Dealt with it and hopefully there won't be too much damage after this."

"You're welcome. There's something I wanted to say to you but you brought your bodyguard so I didn't."

"It couldn't be helped; I was caught trying to leave. What did you want to say?"

There's silence on the line for a bit.

"I wanted to say this to you in person; it's not safe to say it over the phone. But I don't have a choice. This new deal you have may look good; it might even make you rich. But I think you may have sold your soul to the devil."

I don't know how to respond to that.

"I'll see you around Cupcake, I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

With that, he's gone.

I'm haunted by what he said and decide to check it out for myself. What kind of company is Blackstorm really? I'm shocked at what I find.


	16. Aftermath

**AFTERMATH**

A question has been tumbling around in my head since Lilly. Am I really underqualified for my job? Some days I feel like I am. How am I supposed to be guiding people if they know so much more than me? I was totally blindsided by her because I didn't even know if she was right or not. I learned from her that I can't rely totally on trusting my team; I need to _know_ my stuff. How can I tell if somebody's trying to drag us into an abyss? My faith in people has been shaken. I don't trust that easily anymore.

Who do I talk to? My mother has no idea what it's like to help run a company, Grandma Mazur sometimes has good advice but I wouldn't discuss anything I wouldn't want in the grapevine. Connie is still missing in action, every time I talk to Lula I write a cheque; I'm running out of people here. I've just got to dig deep and tackle this by myself. Ranger is busier than ever, plus I think he's getting ready to make his move on Garcia; the last thing I want to do now is distract him with my issues.

I've been sitting at my desk staring at the wall thinking about this when I suddenly become aware of Rodriguez.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask.

"We need to start over."

"What? Don't tell me –"

"Yup."

I shake my head and let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't believe this. I swear, she's going to be the death of me."

Since Lilly left we've been consumed with cleaning up after her. It was like a general mop-up at first, then it became a major overhaul, now Rodriguez is saying we can just forget it. She's set things up so she can carry out a cyber attack on any of our clients at any time and do a lot of damage. She had a long time to set this up; we have a short window to fix it. I have no idea how I'm going to break this to Ranger.

"Isn't there something else we can do? So much work down the drain."

"Well, if you come up with anything, let me know." He disappears out the door.

He's been taking this whole thing very hard and blames himself for all the issues she left behind. No matter how I reassure him, he's not convinced. It's made him short with everybody and he's pushing himself too hard. I'm starting to question his judgement a little; he's too close to this. But here we go again. I don't have the knowledge to offer the kind of technical advice he needs. Boy, she really did a number on us; she's got us by the balls.

I give it some thought and decide I can't tell Ranger. Starting over will be seen as a major failure on our part and I'm not putting that out there. We have to find a way to fix this.

I ask Rodriguez to meet me in the boardroom. We need to come up with a workable plan.

"I'm out of options," he confesses, "This thing is a complete mess. The only way to completely fix it is to get new software and start from scratch. Trying to untangle it might compromise our systems. Under ordinary circumstances maybe, with a lot of time and some luck. But with our tight schedule and her working with Garcia…"

"We don't have a choice. We _can't _start over. We can't go back to the clients and redo all we've already done. Do you want the job of taking this to Ranger? Or better yet, Blackstorm? Go right ahead, 'cause I'm not doing it. I know it feels impossible, but we've got to find a way."

He sits back in his chair, thinking.

"Maybe we should take this to the team."

We pull everyone in IT off what they're doing and convene an emergency meeting right there in the boardroom. I explain the dilemma and that our collective jobs depend on our finding a solution. Everyone stares at me shell-shocked at first, seems they didn't know it was that bad.

"C'mon people!" I say, "Let's work the problem! That's why we're here!"

Suggestions start trickling in. Some are pointless, some are pretty good.

It's going to be a Herculean task, but if there's one thing I learned from being ambushed and facing death is that we can't give up. We may go down in flames, but I'd rather go down fighting.

So I'm back to my twelve to fourteen hour days. This time I'm not going to gloss over anything, I'm sinking my teeth into it. I'm going to learn this side of the business if it kills me. I've been leaning heavily on Rodriguez for help and he's been surprisingly patient, I'm not exactly naturally tech savvy. I should have done this from day one. I had to learn the lesson the hard way.

One day when I feel like I'm on my last drop of energy he takes a tiny bottle out of his pocket and downs the contents.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Just an energy boost."

"Is that what you guys do to keep up? I thought you all had it naturally!"

He smiles. "I wish."

"So that's what everybody uses?"

"Everybody has their own method, they use whatever works for them."

Aha! I feel like I've made a breakthrough. Even though I've never actually seen Ranger take anything. He may be one of the few people who doesn't actually need it.

Later that night I've discovered my own energy boost and I'm clipping along. It's funny, I seem to learn faster when I'm energized. Finally things are making sense. I'm seeing the big picture and getting deeper into the details. I'm excited and pleased with myself. Rodriguez has a way of making me feel at ease; I don't feel like a complete idiot.

"You're still at it?"

We look up to see Ranger at the door.

"Why, do need me for something?" I answer.

"It's ten o'clock."

I look at my watch.

"Wow. It's that late?"

He gives me the wrap up signal and disappears.

"We'll take this up tomorrow," I say to Rodriguez.

When I get upstairs I'm still full of energy and feeling restless. Maybe I can burn off my energy on Ranger. I'm about to jump him when he asks what are we working on so hard.

"Just some implementation glitches we're having courtesy of Lilly. I consider it her final parting gift."

"It must be pretty bad for you to be spending so much time on it."

"It's tough but we can handle it."

He looks like he's not convinced. He's killing the mood.

"What?" I ask.

He looks at me quizzically. "I didn't say anything."

"But you're thinking it."

"I wasn't thinking anything."

"Want to know what _I'm_ thinking?" I say grabbing his shirt and pulling him towards me.

"Do tell," he says softly.

"I'll have to show you." I give him a long kiss.

So I burn off the rest of my energy on Ranger. I think he's a bit surprised, but didn't he say he likes that?

Afterwards I'm feeling tranquil and the conversation turns to business.

"Blackstorm is very pleased with our performance so far," he says, "They've a couple other project lined up after this one if we're interested."

"Overseas?"

"No, mostly local stuff. We just need to get this project done, deal with Garcia and we should be ready."

We're in _deep_ trouble. Blackstorm doesn't exactly have a reputation of being very tolerant of failure. We've got to get a handle on our problems, and _fast_. I don't think Ranger will ever forgive me if I mess this one up.

"So what's going on with the Garcia plans?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Need to know basis, Babe."

I don't press him, I'm too worried about how we are going fix what is growing into a huge problem that can undermine the entire project.

The next day I tell Rodriguez what Ranger said.

"They're under the impression that we're doing well. We can't mess this up. This is Blackstorm we're talking about, here."

He exhales sharply, sits back in his chair and runs his hand through his hair.

"No pressure," I add.

"I've been giving it some thought; maybe we're attacking this thing all wrong. We should divide into teams and hit it systematically," he says.

"We can't pull everybody off the implementation schedule and have them all fixing bugs, we'll fall behind again."

"If she decides to attack us right now, we're screwed."

"Personally, I'd rather face a random attack on the system from Lilly than sitting by and watching us fail. I think the consequences of failure are a lot worse."

"So you're saying we should take the risk and move on? She's messed with the system so much, that in itself can cause us to fail."

"We fix what we can in the meantime. With any luck, it won't be an issue. Hopefully Garcia'll soon be out of the picture and we won't have to worry about it."

He looks unsure.

"We've got to make a choice, we can't do both," I say emphatically, "There just isn't enough time. I'd rather take my chances with one shark than a giant mess of piranhas."

There's no doubt Ranger is putting things together to make his move; entire sections of RangeMan are now off limits to most staff including me. People are curious but I don't care, I'm close to getting an ulcer. We're walking a tightrope and any day we can all fall off.

Today I'm feeling especially desperate and scared. There are so many balls in the air at the same time, we can't juggle them all. Something must go wrong.

"I'm really worried," I admit to Rodriguez, "We need to do something about this. As far as we can see she was working alone. The only way we can be sure this won't blow up in our faces is to contain her."

"What do you mean, exactly?" There goes that dark look again.

Sometimes I forget what kind of men I'm dealing with. I quickly clarify.

"Keep her away from a computer of any kind, not let her get a chance to attack us."

"How do you plan to do that?"

I have no idea. It's a dumb suggestion.

"I don't know, I'm nervous. If we're going after Garcia, I'm sure he'll get her to attack us. Then _he_ won't be our biggest problem. We'll also have to deal with Blackstorm."

"We'll figure this out," he tries to reassure me, "It won't come to that."

Neither of us believe it, we both know that we're flirting with disaster.

We're trying everything we can think of, but she's fixed it so that short of starting over there is just no way to protect ourselves from her attack. We're totally fed up. The more I think about it, the more I accept that Lilly is our problem. If we can prevent her cyber attack we should be OK. I just need to make sure that she doesn't get the opportunity. Rodriguez has already reached his limit and told me that when I finally make up my mind to do something about her I should just "say the word". I don't think we're exactly on the same page with what that actually means.

It's time to tell Ranger about this. At least I'm not going to him with a problem anymore, I have a solution.

"We've got a major threat we need to deal with," I tell Ranger, "It's Lilly. She set us up so she can drop a cyber bomb on us at any time. We can't let that happen, it can destroy everything."

"What do you want to do?"

"I need her off the grid for a while. Not permanently; just until this thing with Garcia is settled."

"OK. I'll take care of it."

I feel a little bad about Lilly but what choice do I have? We're at war. Garcia wanted to do the same thing to me, but Ranger protected me. I doubt Garcia will extend _her_ the same courtesy. She betrayed us and could've gotten us killed in that ambush. She picked the wrong side, that's how it works.

For the next week I barely see Ranger. I suspect that sometimes he's in the building but I don't know for sure. I don't see him at nights and when call him I get voicemail. Hours later he returns my call.

There is a sense of high anticipation at RangeMan; we know we are heading for the big finale. We're moving into the final phase of Operation Takedown.


	17. Battening Down the Hatches

**Battening Down the Hatches**

I'm constantly amazed at how little the world outside is aware of what's going on. Every now and then there is some news in the papers or on TV but it all seems random and unconnected. There seems to be little real indication of what's going on under the surface; the war between the Mob and Garcia, his real agenda. The firebombing of Vinnie's place was reported as "an electrical fire of unknown origin" despite the huge explosion that everyone within half a mile could hear. I'm not sure if Garcia's controlling the media somehow or if they just don't want to frighten people. Whatever the reason, it's probably a good thing. I'm on the inside and _I'm_ frightened. I have no idea how bad this is going to get.

So Vinnie's decided to get back in business. I personally don't think it's a great idea right now and told him so, but it's his decision. The threat is still there, but I suppose he'll do anything right now, including tackling Garcia himself to get out of the house. I told him upfront before he even brought it up that I can't offer him any protection. He already knows this; I couldn't help last time either. But he can hope.

People constantly try to pump me for information, but I don't give them much. I confirm some things if they already know about it and if it's not critical to what we're doing, but I don't offer any additional details. I'm told that I'm starting to act like Ranger and it's not meant as a compliment. They automatically assume I have a lot to hide. I'm finding that it doesn't matter to me that much anymore; their opinion is meaning less and less. I've finally made peace with the fact that this is my new life. I'm in so deep that I have nowhere else to go even if I wanted to, unless I want to end up like Morelli.

Speaking of getting in deep, we're cementing our connection with Blackstorm. That's not a relationship that's easy to extricate yourself from. The power and worldwide reach that they have, coupled with the lucrative nature of their contracts are compelling – once you get in, it's hard to get out. They operate in their own separate grey space; as long as the mission is accomplished, they're good. I wouldn't call them innocent by _any_ definition. The main rule of survival: just don't piss them off. There is no remote island secluded enough, no rock buried deep enough that you can hide under that they can't find you. Despite all of this, I know for sure Ranger has no plans to give this up. It's the opportunity of a lifetime.

So we've been pushing like crazy to wrap up loose ends on the road. We know our window is closing fast and we still have a way to go. We're not sure what's coming so we prepare for the worst. With the Lilly threat out of the way we're firing on all cylinders.

One of the toughest things I've had to deal with is not having Ranger around. I really miss him. Even when he's busy I'm used to at least being with him at night, but now I don't see him much and I'm starting to feel kind of lonely. The worst part is I don't even know what he is working on most of the time. So as usual, I distract myself with work. Since he's hardly around, some nights I don't go to bed at all, I take a nap in a small couch I had put in my office. When I wake up, I go upstairs, take a shower, change and I'm back at it again. Sometimes when I'm really tired I don't even get that far, I nap at my desk.

One time I turned off the light in the office and took a nap on the couch. Since it's hidden from view, Ranger didn't know where I was and turned RangeMan upside down trying to find me. By the time someone thought to look for me there, he was in a state. When I woke up and saw the look on is face, I knew right then how much he loves me. I can't wait for this thing to be over.

Tonight I'm completely flaked out and can't spend another minute in the office. I decide to head upstairs for a break. I grab a shower, some dinner and unwind in front of the TV.

Garcia is on the news announcing a zero tolerance policy toward crime. He promises to "hunt down and lock up the criminal elements and their associates". When the news anchor asks him how does he explain the fact that crime has gone up considerably since he assumed the job, he explains that he's "getting to the criminals and it is having an impact", he "has them running scared and desperate." By the end of the interview it's very clear to me that we're next on his list. I can't imagine how angry he is about Lilly. At some points it feels like he's talking directly to me, looking into the camera, like he knows I'm watching. Not too long ago that would've made me nervous, but I've lived with that threat so long the sting has worn off.

So much for unwinding. I turn off the TV and lie in the couch and rest my eyes a bit. I'm drifting of when a strange sound startles me.

"Babe."

Ranger's back! I can't believe how excited I am to see him, it's been _that _long. He sees my reaction but doesn't smile back. He sits beside me.

"I need you to do something," he says with the strangest tone in his voice.

"What?"

"Get your cell, call your mother and tell her to not go home."

"Why? What's going –"

"You need to do it _right now_."

He looks deathly serious. I feel fear literally shoot through my veins.

"Tell me what's going on!" I insist. "Is she in some kind of danger?"

He takes a deep breath. He's trying to be patient with me.

"There are men outside your parents' house as we speak. We suspect they're waiting on your mother to get home as well. It's under control. We _will_ take care of this. Your family won't even know what happened. Every second I spend explaining this is putting them at risk. Now get your cell and make the call. _Now_."

My brain is foggy, I can't think.

"I-I-I don't know where it is…"

He whips out his cell and calls. I hear it ringing. I pick it up.

I feel myself falling apart. I'm literally shaking. I'm staring at it not sure what to do.

"W-What do I say?" I feel the tears stinging.

"Think of something."

I dial her number, take a deep breath and steady my voice. I need to think quickly. I chat with her for a bit keeping my voice as light as I can. I ask her to pick up some items for me that I know will take her about an hour. I tell her I'll arrange to have them picked up later.

When I hang up I toss the phone at Ranger.

"You promised! You said –"

I give into the wracking sobs. It's like someone's is tearing out my insides piece by piece and I'm feeling every torturous second of it.

"I-I don't think… I can handle this," I say between sobs.

He sighs and gives me a hug. I grab on to him tight.

"I-I'm s-so _scared_!"

He holds me for a while longer, but I can tell he wants to go.

"Do you want me to go deal with this, or stay with you?"

I let go.

"Make sure nothing happens to them," I warn him.

"You have my word."

I head back downstairs. I try to not give in to the emotions but it's so overwhelming. It's not that I didn't know they were at risk, this shouldn't be a surprise. It's the gut-wrenching fear that I can't seem to control. I try to pull myself together.

"You OK?" Rodriguez asks when he sees my teary expression.

"My parents –"

"I heard."

I let out a deep sigh. I'm just not like these guys; they can compartmentalize, focus and get the job done, I can't. When it comes to the people I care about, I'm completely weak.

"Those are former special forces guys out there," he reassures me, "They'll make sure nothing happens to them."

I feel horrible for putting them in this situation. I tell myself that if no one tackled Garcia we would all be at risk one way or the other eventually, but I can't get my mind to accept that. This is my fault.

He seems a little surprised at my reaction.

"We _expected _this. Did you think that dealing with Lilly would have no consequences?" He asks.

"Thanks for that. Now I feel worse than ever."

"You're not getting what's going on here, are you?"

"No," I admit.

"It's a chess game. Ranger's putting his pieces in place. Garcia makes a move, we make another."

"It's taking forever; it feels like there's no end to this."

"This is how it is, we can't rush this. The trick is to keep one step ahead. Lilly was a variable we didn't see."

_Can't rush this._ That reminds me of how I felt before I made the decision to commit to this life.

"How do you know so much? Does Ranger tell you things he doesn't tell me?"

"No, he actually tells _you_ a lot more. I pretty much know the playbook so I know what's coming next."

"The Army playbook?"

"I've dealt with this kind of stuff a thousand times."

"You were special forces?"

"Counterintelligence."

"And you're setting up security systems? Aren't you a little…overqualified?"

He smiles. "Believe it or not, I actually enjoy my job. Yes I can handle a lot more and I've allowed myself to get a little soft. Lilly was a wake up call."

"Need to keep your skills sharp."

"Exactly."

It's strange how little I know about their backgrounds. Ranger normally recruits the men; I just work with them and ask no questions. I guess I trust that he knows what he's doing. No wonder Rodriguez is so good at sourcing information. How did I not see this before? I guess when I just got here I was too busy worrying about what they thought about _me_.

The all clear finally comes in and I breathe a sigh of relief. My family is safe. For now. I thought I was getting somewhere with keeping my emotions in check, but right now I don't feel that I've made as much progress as I thought I had.

Rodriguez seems to read my thoughts.

"Don't be so hard on yourself" he says, "That's how it is the first time. You get used to it."

Over the next few days, we finally start to feel like we're seeing the end in sight. We're on pins and needles hoping we can make it.

Rodriguez pops into my office looking like the cat that caught the canary. He's up to some mischief. It's rare to see him this animated. Now that I think about it, I don't _ever _remember seeing him like this.

"Seen it yet?" He asks.

"Seen what?"

"It's making the rounds online."

He starts a slightly grainy video clip on his laptop that shows Garcia and three other men. Garcia's personally meeting out some serious justice to somebody in a back alley, beating the guy to a pulp with a police baton. Something makes them stop and look up, then they take off leaving the guy on the ground. The picture zooms in to the beaten guy and – whoa! I gasp as it becomes clear that the beat up guy's a Cop. Good God! It's hard to reconcile what I just saw with the Garcia I see on TV, despite what I think about him. It's like two different people. It wouldn't surprise me if I heard that it was all a huge mistake and he really has an evil twin that we didn't know about. And all of this is online. He can't be very happy right now.

Rodriguez is cracking up.

"It's not funny."

"This was some time ago, the guy's OK."

"Why are you laughing?"

"He _did_ say he wants to bring discipline to the force. Maybe that's how he plans to do it, with a good spanking."

"Morelli knew what he was trying to get way from. He said he wasn't safe. Garcia's a nut."

"Tell me about it. The dude's a megalomaniac. Seems he feels nobody's appreciating his brilliance and he's not getting his due."

"That's interesting. OK, so let's track his brilliance. He get's into a fight with his boss and gets kicked out of the Bronx. By the way, did you ever find out what caused that?"

"Clash of egos."

"That's it?"

"That and the fact that he was bringing grief to the department."

"OK, fine. So he gets dumped here and makes it his first order of business to start a vendetta with Ranger."

"You missed a step. His original plan was to set up shop, but he had to first get rid of whoever was in his way. With his history with Ranger, he could settle an old score plus remove any threats to his new business – kill two birds with one stone."

"Instead, he divided the department against him, started a war with the Mob, pissed off the guys in the Bronx and launched us into the stratosphere. Now _that's_ brilliance."

We can't stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. Now _that's_ funny.

Who knew that Rodriguez was so much fun to be around? That's how it is with these guys. It's hard to get to know them; they don't let their guard down that easily. They're usually super focussed and intense, I don't often see them when they're relaxed. I wonder if part of it is me, though. Do I make them uncomfortable?

Over the next week we do one final push and beat or target. It's celebration and pandemonium at RangeMan. We did it! We finally finished the first and most important phase of the project. I'm beside myself with excitement. It was touch and go a couple of times, but we pulled it off. Even Ranger can't help getting caught up in the celebration; or at least his version of it. We both decide to retire upstairs to do some private celebration of our own.

I can barely wait to get upstairs; I'm almost giddy with excitement. It's hard to believe that we officially successfully completed the implementation phase and have secured our contract with Blackstorm, which includes our first major payout. We've finally made it.

As the elevator door closes, we grab onto each other unable to hold ourselves back until we get to the apartment. I missed him so much! Why won't this thing go faster? It's taking too long. After a while I pull away – is it my imagination, or is it actually _slowing _down? He clues in at the same time, but before he can say anything, the lights flicker and the elevator completely grinds to a halt. Then the lights go out completely.

The sudden piercing sound of the building alarm in the confined space is making me convinced I'm going deaf. It's a sickening sound that grates on my nerves and rattles me to my very core. After a couple seconds it gets less loud and I can actually shout to Ranger.

"What the _hell_ is going on?"

Before he can answer we hear a loud _boom_, the elevator sways and creaks, I feel queasy inside. I already know the answer to my question, but Ranger says it anyway.

"We're under attack."


	18. The Attack

**The Attack**

We're still in darkness, but the alarm is off. Ranger turns on a small flashlight and runs the beam along the ceiling, probably trying to decide if we should try to get out or wait. After a couple of minutes the emergency power trips in and we slowly begin to move again. It's eerily quiet on the inside, but I know all hell is breaking loose on the outside. Even though we've drilled for this scenario, I learned during the ambush that no amount of preparation can make you ready for the real thing. I try to get mentally ready.

When we finally get to the apartment, the door opens and we step out into darkness. I can hear the ratta–tatta–tat of automatic weapons fire concentrated on the ground floor. Even though the gunfire sounds like it's a way off, I know that there's still plenty of action on the roof between our snipers and our enemy's.

"Stay away from the windows," Ranger reminds me.

We move around easily in the dark, we've committed every square inch of the apartment to memory. We quickly head for the dressing room to get ready for battle. He closes the door and in the dim light we don Kevlar, strap on our weapons, load up on ammo.

There's another loud _boom_, and I feel the building shake.

"Just a kind of mortar," Ranger says.

"Can they take down the building?"

"Not with what they've got. They're just trying to get in."

I don't know how useful I'm going to be in this, but I feel calmer with Ranger around.

"Ready?' he asks.

I nod. We exit the apartment and head down the stairs.

Ranger needs to go into the heat of the action on the ground floor where his men are. Since he wants me as far away from the front lines as possible we settle on the administrative floor where my team is, I want to make sure they're OK. When we get there we see Rodriguez trying to coordinate a very frightened bunch of office staff, mostly women, some wide-eyed with panic. Looking at them tells me how far I've come; I guess that's how I used to look. He's not having much luck comforting them, the more he talks, the more petrified they seem to get. I step in and try to reassure them as best I can.

"Look," I tell them, "this will soon be over. If we stay here and take cover we'll be fine." I pull out my gun and check the chamber for emphasis.

"Let's get under these desks." I get started organising everybody and directing them where to go.

Ranger seems satisfied that we can take care of ourselves so he moves on.

"Rodriguez you're with me," he says.

They take off downstairs into the heat of the battle.

After a while, I'm itching for information. I turn on our communications radio to keep tabs on what's going on. I'm curious about whether this is an official Police operation or an attack by Garcia's men.

"Hold your position!" Comes crackling through the speakers along with weapons fire.

"Don't give them an inch!"

"Could use some help over here!"

"Would love to oblige, but we're a little busy right now."

"Tank –" that's Ranger's voice.

"Got it."

A huge explosion downstairs.

"Hell, yeah!' Somebody says.

I turn off the radio. Now I can't help myself – I _have to_ see what's going on. If this is a police operation it will make a huge difference with what the guys can and can't do. I keep low and dart over to the wall. I slowly stand up with my back to the wall and inch forward to the window to get a better look. I can see flashing police lights outside but they're a way off, a couple blocks out. It's hard to tell if they're part of the action or watching from the sidelines.

"What's going on out there?" Somebody asks.

"It's dark, I can't see much."

I can't imagine how the people who live nearby feel to be hearing all of this. It's a good thing it's an industrial area so the closest apartments are several blocks away. I look across the street just in time to see a sniper on the roof get knocked back by a bullet from our side. I wonder who's on _our_ roof? His level of accuracy is amazing. Especially at night. I have a whole new respect for accurate shots after my time spent in the range, I know how hard it is. Now I see shadowy figures moving on the ground. Our sniper doesn't miss. Not even once. They drop one by one. Most of the activity has moved out of my line of sight, plus I'm not exactly setting a good example by doing this so I decide to take cover.

"Are we winning?" a voice asks out of the darkness.

"_Of course_ we are."

I have no idea. I'm tempted to turn the radio back on but, I don't think any of us wants to hear if anything bad happens.

I think back to how this all started. Meeting Ranger, some of the stuff that happened since then. I'm a totally different person now. I can't say honestly that I'm completely pleased with who I am now, things have taken turns I didn't expect, I've had to make some tough calls. I have little doubt that it's going to get worse over time. How do I draw the line? _Where_ do I draw the line? These guys all have a code that they live by, what's mine?

We can hear a chopper approaching from the distance. It's getting closer and closer. Now it's hovering over the building across the road. It's so loud! Sounds like it's right here in the room. It's making the place shake. The problem is I don't know who it belongs to, if it's the Cops or someone else. A searchlight dances around right below us and based on its trajectory –"

"Get on the other side! Go around the desks! Move!" I tell them. They scurry out of view.

Seconds later the searchlight illuminates the entire room like daylight. There's a collective gasp of fear.

"Now don't move! No shadows!"

We all freeze. The light lingers for a few seconds and I can see some of the petrified faces. Two admin assistants are crying. The light moves on and we exhale. I have no clue what that was, but I'm worried about it. I wish I could ask Ranger if we should get out of the room just in case the light changes its mind and decides to send in an accompanying shower of bullets. We'd be sitting ducks.

"Don't move!" I say again while I think. What do I do?

Before I can decide, the guns on the chopper light up and starts pounding away at a target below us.

_B-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d!_

Oh my God, it sounds like thunder! I put my hands over my ears. Who are they shooting at? Our guys? I feel sick to my stomach. I have a mental picture of our men being cut to ribbons by the heavy bullets. I feel like I can see every round, the shells pouring out. I'm hyperventilating, I can't get enough air. Then it stops as suddenly. It hovers for a while longer and then leaves. I try to control my breathing although I'm sure I'm close to collapsing. _This will pass_, I tell myself. _Control the breath_. I spend the next minute calming myself down. Outside is dead quiet.

"Is everybody OK?"

Just whimpering and crying in the dark. I look down at my hands and notice that they're shaking. I need to know what just happened. Did my world just end right here? I can't check the radio; too public. I sneak back over to the window, but there's nothing out there. The flashing lights are gone. _Think, think._ What would Ranger do? He'd face the music.

"I'll be back in a second," I tell the others.

I lock myself in my office, take a deep breath and turn on the radio.

It's chaotic, but they're there. Shouting, congratulating, some parts I can't make out, but there. I guess that chopper was for us after all. I let the tears pour as I listen to them, I'm so happy and relieved, that's all I want to do right now, hear their voices.

"Man down, man down!" Somebody chips in. my heart skips a beat.

"Who –"

"Where is –"

"We're in –"

"Stop –"

"Get off the –"

"What the –"

Too many people pile in, I can't make out anything. I'm hearing radio breaks and pieces of conversation; it's not making any sense. Why don't they shut up and let him talk? The talking continues. _Shut up, shut up shut up!_ Eventually they get the point and it slows down.

"Man down!" A different voice. Does that mean two?

"Who's hit?" Ranger's voice. _Yes!_ It's not him!

More static and confusion. Several people try to talk at once.

"Rodrig –" more static and breakers. My heart drops like a stone. Is he dead? I look longingly at my couch. What I would give right now to be able to curl up in there and cry my eyes out. Instead, I bite my lower lip hard, fight the tears and head back to the others. They need me right now. I turn off the radio.

They're still frozen in place just like I left them. At least the whimpering has stopped.

"You can come out now, it's over."

They come out one by one. The questions tumble out fast and furious.

"What's going on?"

"What happened?"

"Are they OK?"

"Looks like two persons got hit, I'm not sure who they are," I tell them.

"Are they dead?"

"I don't know."

"What do we do now?"

Good question.

"I want to get out of here."

"I think we should stay put. Let them sort it out, they'll get to us when they're ready."

A few minutes later we hear ambulances. I'm feeling a crushing sadness, worried about Rodriguez, hoping he's alive. What if I don't see him again? And who was the other person? I feel so helpless.

After about an hour of waiting I decide to go downstairs to see what's going on. I wasn't in the least bit prepared for what I see. It's a war zone. Everything blown to bits. Burned out furniture, walls, floor. I'm stepping over debris of all kinds. Tank stops me in the hallway. He's a mess.

"You don't want to go any further," He says.

"Why, what –"

"Let's go," I hear Ranger's voice behind me. I'm so happy he's safe! I give him a tight hug. He's terribly grimy and coated with dust.

"What happened to Rodriguez?"

"Got hit in the hip, he's at the hospital. We're heading there now."

"I'm coming with you. Who else got hit?"

"Nobody else. At least not on our side."

We have to wait for a long time until Rodriguez comes out of surgery. When they finally allow us to see him, he's only half conscious. When I see him I want to burst into tears. To think we were just chatting and laughing earlier in the day and he could have been gone. Just like that. It's funny how much the risk comes home to you when somebody gets hurt.

"How're you feeling?" I ask him when we get to stand by his bedside.

"Awesome," he mumbles. I can't help but smile.

"You've got loads of time to rest, remember. We've done most of the heavy lifting already."

"Just don't take it out of my vacation," he responds. He could have died and he finds a way to lighten the mood.

We spend a couple more minutes with him before they chase us away to let him rest.

We don't talk much on the way back, we're all tired and I'm emotionally exhausted. I've been working around the clock for so long, now this. I officially have nothing left. I can't get the picture of Rodriguez lying on that hospital bed out of my mind, what if he didn't make it? We were so lucky tonight. I guess it's more than luck. These guys have a lot of skill. That reminds me…

"Who was the sniper on our roof?" I ask Ranger.

"Why do you ask?"

"Whoever it was, he's insanely good."

"You could see from where you were?"

"Yes."

"What else did you see?"

Why isn't he answering the question?

"Where'd the chopper come from?"

"Blackstorm."

He answers _that_ though. Interesting.

"So were the cops in on this?"

"No, they just came to hang out and watch the action."

"And you could see that from where _you _were."

He doesn't answer. I know for sure he'd have to be pretty high up to see the cops; they were so far away it's unlikely he could see much from the ground floor.

"I didn't say I _saw_ them."

"You didn't say you didn't."

I'm done playing twenty questions with Ranger; I'm going to take a nap.

The following day we have a rash of resignations, mostly office staff. Apparently the events of the night were just too much to handle. This is not a great time to lose them, we have a mess on our hands, we have to clean up and bring the building back up to standard. Plus we have the Blackstorm contract to maintain. I'm really sorry to see them go, but I can truly identify with how they feel.

Word has got out about the events of the night, but there is no coverage at all on the news. It's like it never even happened. That's the part that I really don't get, somebody's controlling something behind the scenes, it just doesn't make any sense.

I get a lot of calls from people wanting to know if I'm alright and wanting a first hand account of what happened. The truth is, I really don't really want to talk about it. I want to pretend it was all a bad dream, even though I've been having a lot of those lately. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to be alone in the apartment; I keep feeling like there's a sniper across the road waiting to take me out. I find myself staying away from the windows and having difficulty sleeping. My nightmares are horrific and very real. When I get up, I feel as tired as when I went to bed. It's wearing me down.

As if all of that isn't bad enough, I'm not particularly thrilled with the idea that we owe Blackstorm. I have no idea what they will want in return. Ranger seems fine with it, but it makes me uncomfortable. _A lot_ of things are making me uncomfortable lately.

I thought Ranger was busy before, but as the days go by I'm beginning to wonder if he actually exists. Is he just a figment of my imagination? Some vague figure that we refer to from time to time? I've never been so lonely and isolated.

I know they're closing in on Garcia and things are already in motion but nobody's telling me anything and without Rodriguez around to keep me in the loop, I'm completely in the dark.

I decide to pay him a visit. He's still recuperating at his apartment and I want to see how he's doing. Since the attack I've been moving about a bit again with my usual security detail.

When I get there I'm surprised to see him up and about.

"I thought you'd be in bed," I comment.

"Yeah, got tired of that scene. Trying to wean my way out of it. Looking forward to getting back out."

He winces sometimes when he moves, hobbling around on a cane.

"How bad is it?"

"Unfortunately, it hit the bone. That's the kicker. If it was a flesh wound I'd be in much better shape by now."

He offers me a beer. I accept.

"How're _you_ doing?' he asks.

"Not great."

I tell him about the resignations, my nightmares and my fears about the sniper.

"And to top it all off, I don't know what's going on."

He thinks about that a little.

"If you're having those issues I'd say you're better off not knowing."

"Could it be that bad? It can't be worse than what's happened so far."

"Look, just let it go. Know your limits. Let the guys handle it. You'll know what's going on when it's time."

Maybe he's right.

"So what about Blackstorm? In for a penny, in for a pound?"

"We were in for a pound from day one. We pretty much work for them now. May as well get used to it."

I've got a question that's been eating away at me lately. I'm not sure I want to hear the answer.

"I've been wondering since the attack. Do you think…would you call us mercenaries?"

He laughs out loud.

"What do _you _think?"

"I'm not sure _what_ to think."

"Let me put it this way. We're nothing like Garcia's guys, if that's what you're worried about. The kind of stuff we work on for Blackstorm will be official government sanctioned operations. We're not cowboys for hire."

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad."

"It isn't."

We sit in silence for a little, drinking beer, thinking our own separate thoughts.

"Want another one?" He offers.

"No thanks, I'm good."

I don't trust myself to be able to handle more than one beer. Maybe I should give up drinking altogether.

"Gotta go, anyway. I'm virtually alone in the office right now with everybody gone."

"I should be back out in a couple of days –"

"No rush. I can manage."

He tries to get up to walk me to the door.

"No, don't get up! I've got it."

"We could use this opportunity to make some changes, hire different kinds of people who can handle what we do," he says.

I suddenly feel stressed.

"Yeah."

He looks at me with concern.

"You look like you could use a break," he suggests.

"And go where and do what? I can't do anything until this thing with Garcia's wrapped up."

I open the door.

"See you when you get back," I say on my way out.

"Take it easy," he says.

I take back what I said to Rodriguez. He needs to rush back. I can't handle everything on my own. I need staff! In addition to everything else, now I'm in charge of the building renovations? _Where is_ Ranger?

I'm at a loss as to what's happening in RangeMan. I feel like we're adrift. Everyday I get a call about some new problem. Things I never dealt with before are now becoming my problem.

I stomp around frustrated to the ground floor where there is yet another issue with something.

"What now?" I snap at the renovations contractor. I've had a short fuse lately. He explains what his problem is and I have no clue what he's talking about. I don't know anything about construction. He takes me to the area that's supposed to be the problem and a hole in the wall covered with plastic catches my eye. It leads right into one of the areas Ranger declared out of bounds. Seems the explosions ripped away more walls than they should have. After I deal with the contractor, my curiosity of course gets the better of me. I wonder what's going on behind there?

Nobody's in sight, so I pull away the plastic. It opens out to the staircase leading to the basement. I go down the stairs, turn the corner and I'm looking at Mike Garcia.


	19. Growing Pains

**Growing Pains**

The basement is the full size of a floor of the building and is quite large. There's a corridor that runs from the stairs along the length of it with rooms and different areas running off that. Some are used as safe rooms, others storage and various miscellaneous needs. Looking at Mike tells me right away why Garcia was trying so hard to get in. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know his brother is here; he could've killed him in the process. I guess he figures that there are other things here he wants to get his hands on.

Mike looks up and greats me with a smile.

"Stephanie! How's it going?" He comes over and gives me a hug.

"How're you feeling?" I ask. I don't know what else to say.

"I'm good! This place is tight! I like it. Had no idea you guys were doing so well."

"Business is good. How's Miami?"

What I really want to ask is _what are you doing here?_

"Hot as usual. When things settle down here you should come visit. My wife would love to meet you."

I want to say something more, but I can't think of a safe topic to bring up. Anything I say will either show how much I don't know, or create some kind of problem I can't see yet. Fortunately, he continues.

"Johnny's got a lot stronger since the last time I crossed paths with him. I couldn't believe what I heard going on outside. What's he got, an army or something? It was like a war out there! Sometimes it felt like this whole place was coming down! We've got our work cut out for us."

He looks up at something behind me and when I turn around, I'm facing Ranger. He looks like he hasn't slept in days and he's _not _happy to see me. I notice that he hasn't shaved either; it gives him a rugged, roguish look that's really _hot_.

"Why are you down here?" he asks.

"There's a hole in the wall," I offer by way of explanation.

He looks at me like I've just said the dumbest thing he's ever heard.

He grasps me firmly by the arm.

"Let's take a walk." I can tell by his tone that he's trying to control his anger. I bid Mike goodbye as Ranger half drags me back up the stairs.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demands when we get upstairs.

I don't answer. I don't think I've ever seen him this angry. No, wait. The night we were ambushed in the alley comes close.

"I gave Mike my word that he would be safe and that no one would know he's here and now he sees you wandering along the corridor. Do you want to jeopardize everything?"

He tries to calm down, but it's taking some effort. He looks like he's losing his grip on his patience.

"I thought you could handle this, but now I'm beginning to wonder…"

Now _I'm_ getting angry.

"But you don't tell me anything! On top of that you leave me alone to run this whole place by myself with no staff! I don't see you for ages and I don't understand what is going on…"

Now he's lost it.

"Do you really_ want to_ know? You keep insisting, yet you fall apart when you find out."

Ouch. That stings.

"There are _lives_ at stake here; you should have learned that with Rodriguez. This is not a game. We make a mistake, people die."

I don't say anything. That hurts. Maybe he's right; maybe I'm not cut out for this.

He takes a deep breath and tries to calm down. We don't say anything for a while.

"Look, you have to learn to trust your team. That's how it works. We don't always have all the details but we know somebody's got our back. We live and die by that."

I walk away; I don't want to talk anymore. I don't care if he stays wherever he is. I need a break from here. I deserve it.

As I head over to my parents' house, I'm still smarting at what Ranger said. He pretty much told me I'm too weak to handle what's going on and that's why I'm out of the loop. Is it my fault I'm not military enough for him? Whatever happened to "Babe, you've exceeded all of my expectations?"

When I get to my parent's house I feel my usual guilt and a little apprehension. I'm picturing men hiding outside waiting to pounce on them. My mother! How could I do that to her? She's so trusting and loyal, how could I put her at such risk? I'm not feeling great right now.

They're excited to see me, even my father. That's a shocker right there because very little moves him. Maybe it helps that I've been spending heavily on them trying to make up for my guilt; I bought them a new car and a bunch of other stuff.

According to Grandma Mazur, I have quite the reputation in the Burg. The way she tells it, you'd think I'm some kind of badass. It doesn't hurt that I'm wearing my usual uniform of Kevlar with a gun on my hip. She even knows about the ambush on the way to Blackstorm and how I knocked the gun out of the guy's hand. I don't know where that one came from because I'm sure it wasn't from Ranger or Tank.

I thought it would stress them out that they have to have so much visible security. Since the threat on them, Ranger decided to create a deterrent to any future attempts. Instead of getting scared, it seems that they're quite flattered. Apparently having a security detail is some kind of status symbol. Go figure.

I don't try to understand it; I remind myself that this lifestyle used to look so cool and awesome from the outside. The _reality_ of living it though– not so much. My mother comments on how serious I'm looking recently. She says she can't remember the last time I smiled. I guess it's because I have serious problems. There's no way she would understand and I would never want to burden her with it.

I spend half of the day with them. When I get back, Rodriguez is back in the office. That was fast. Seems Ranger wasted no time replacing me.

As time goes on, Rodriguez doesn't know what to do. He can tell that there is something weird between me and Ranger – he's getting mixed messages and conflicting instructions from both of us and he doesn't want to offend either of us, so he's in an impossible situation. So I give in. I tell him to do whatever Ranger says and I've pretty much stop giving him instructions. If Ranger wants him to be in charge, so be it.

I focus on replacing our office staff and catching up on stuff I've fallen behind on. Apparently Ranger has lost confidence in me and I almost feel like I'm back to where I started. Actually, I'm a little worse off. He used to have more faith in me than I had in myself; now it seems that I have to work to regain his trust all over again. Well, I don't care anymore. After everything that's happened and after how far I've come, if I'm going to be pushed to the sidelines, I'm not going to fight it. It's just a job, right? Why should I care? Good. Now that I'm done feeling sorry for myself, I can move on.

Rodriguez suggests we get more military types to deal with the office work and I offer no resistance. Why don't we just turn this whole damn place into one giant army? I thought that originally when Ranger asked me to work for RangeMan he was trying to have more of a balance in the company. He said I was good with people, good in the office and had good intuition. What changed? Doesn't RangeMan need that anymore? Are we so focused on Blackstorm that we're just becoming a new regiment? I have these concerns, but it's no use pointing them out. It's so frustrating that nobody sees my point of view because since the office staff left we've become so military focussed, I feel like my voice has been completely drowned out.

When I pack up for the day, I'm surprised when I get upstairs to find Ranger. I've gotten so used to being by myself that it almost feels like an intrusion on my space. I've started to get over my nightmares and my fears so I'm getting kind of comfortable being alone.

"Hey, how's it going?" I say to him.

He gives me a strange look.

"OK. You?"

"Good. We're getting staff back in place so things are getting better."

I head for the shower and to bed.

The following day I'm in a zone. I'm pleased with myself because I'm focussed and getting stuff done. This is what my life is like recently, I've started getting pleasure out of the little things. There isn't much else to get pleasure out of. I feel completely taken for granted, like nothing I do is ever enough.

At around lunch I sit back in my chair thinking. There's a yawning emptiness inside that's threatening to swallow me up. I've been fighting it hard, but every now and then it makes its presence felt.

Rodriguez wants to know if we should go ahead and order the equipment he had suggested to upgrade our systems.

"Yeah, sure," I tell him. It doesn't really matter. RangeMan is feeling more and more like a military command centre. I'm confused because I think we're losing our identity as a security company. Pretty soon I won't be needed anymore.

When my mind drifts, I find myself thinking about what life after RangeMan would look and feel like. What would I do with myself? I've lived and breathed this company for so long I really have no idea what it would be like to be doing something else. When things are tied up with Garcia I should be free to live again. I like the idea, but I'm a little scared by it. I guess that's how prisoners feel after they're let out after a long sentence.

I slowly hand over more and more responsibility to Rodriguez. He's doing a great job anyway and it's clear to me that most of what's going on is now way over my head. My job has outgrown me and I have to accept that. It's painful to be left behind, but what can I do? I'll just hang out here until it's safe to go, and then I'll find another job. Maybe I can go to another security company, I have good experience. Doubtful I would get a job in this town, I've made enemies with our competitors.

Later when I go upstairs, I'm so tightly wound, I'm looking forward to my usual routine of a shower, dinner and unwinding in front of the TV watching my favourite shows. When I get out of the shower, I see Ranger. To my great surprise, I'm actually annoyed. It feels like a stranger is invading my space and I'm not liking it at all. When did this happen?

"Babe, what's going on?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" I try to hide my annoyance.

"You've been more than a little strange lately."

"How would _you _know that?"

"Are you planning to leave RangeMan?"

"What gives you that idea?"

He doesn't answer. He just looks at me.

I head back to the bathroom. I blow out my hair, taking as long as I can, hoping he'll be gone by the time I get out. No such luck, he's still there.

"Look, I give you my word that this will soon be over. It's just that if we move too soon, people could lose their lives. This has to be a surgical strike. No mistakes."

"I know."

"So what's the problem?"

I shrug.

He sighs.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you when I saw you in the basement, I was tired –"

"You were right. People's lives are at stake, I can't be flippant about it. I may not have military training like you guys but I'm not _completely_ stupid. "

He looks a little puzzled.

"I never mean to put people at risk; I might have done it unintentionally in the past, but I'm not like that now. I would never do anything wilfully to jeopardize you plans."

"OK. So what now?" He asks.

"I don't know. Deal with Garcia. Isn't that the plan?"

"You know what I mean."

"I don't."

He looks a little frustrated.

"I feel like we're talking in riddles here. Let's circle back to the original question. Are you planning to leave RangeMan?"

"No."

There's just no way I can tell him what I'm thinking. I'll be a drag on him and he can't be distracted right now. I've done enough of that. RangeMan doesn't need me anymore; I've nothing left to give. I did the best I could but it just isn't enough.

He doesn't believe me, I can see it in his eyes. He's trying to decide what to say next when I move on. I'm done with this conversation.

I get dressed and go back to work. If I can't have space in the apartment, maybe I can in my office. When I get there I lock the door.

The mistake I made was coming back to RangeMan. I should have stayed at my old place. That way I wouldn't have to leave twice. I burst into tears. I cry about my life, my loneliness, my mistakes, everything. I can't stop crying. Then I sleep in my couch. With any luck I won't wake up.

The following day I wake up feeling even worse. I can't throw myself into work, that's not going to do it for me anymore. I'm face to face with the fact that I'm a failure. A failed marriage. A failure at relationships. I keep getting myself into jams I can't get out of. I keep taking on things I can't handle. There's a kind of darkness falling over me that I can't control. I'm losing the battle.

I lay in the couch for a while staring at the ceiling trying to pull myself together. I don't know what to do. Can I make it out of here before Ranger can stop me? Before I can decide, there's a knock at my door. It's Rodriguez. He looks at me with concern.

"Are you OK? He asks.

I put on a brave face.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I have no intention of dragging him into my sorrows.

"I'm just about to head out to look at some equipment. Wanna come?"

"Sure." Anything to get out of here.

On the way, we're kind of quiet listening to the radio.

"This is probably none of my business and you can tell me if that's what you think, but as your friend and my boss I'm concerned about you," he says.

"Have you been talking to Ranger?"

"He asked why I seem to be dealing with everything now including things outside of IT. I had to tell him that you handed them over to me."

"Well, I thought you could handle it."

"The real question is _why_."

"What kind of company is RangeMan? I was originally under the impression that it was a security company. It seems like it's becoming a department of Blackstorm."

"Well if we're going to take on the other projects they have in mind for us, we need the equipment and the kind of staff we're getting."

I don't even bother to ask what the other projects are. Everybody seems to about what's going on but me. Plus I'm no longer interested.

"Well, it's a good thing you got more military types to handle it."

"I didn't pick these people alone, you agreed to it! I thought we were on the same page."

"Didn't Ranger tell you what to do?"

"No, it was my idea."

Well, he'll be working with them, he can choose who he likes.

We get quiet again for a while.

"When you just came to RangeMan," he says, "I could see it was tough for you. Many of the guys didn't want to report to you. Especially the sales guys. They made up their minds that you weren't going to last. Some of them are gone and you're still here. It'd be a shame if all of that was for nothing."

"But you supported me. Why?"

"I admired your strength for standing up to them. They can be pretty intimidating, but you stood your ground. I don't see that a lot."

"Is that why you chose to flirt with me? Out of respect?"

He laughs.

"That was another time and another place. And for that, I am truly sorry. Then the things Lilly said to you. That was tough. They're not true by the way. She also said a lot of stuff to me that weren't true."

"What's your point?"

"That it gets tough sometimes, then it gets better."

"How would _you_ know," I mumble under my breath.

"How do I know it gets better?"

He wasn't supposed to hear that.

"Well my wound is healing. I feel better every day. Do you have any idea what it's like to be shot and in a kind of agony I can't describe, but everybody around you is fighting for their lives and don't even _notice_ that you're hit? That you just have to wait until it's all over and hope to God that they're alive at the end of it? I could tell you about the _hell _that was. I could also tell you about how many friends I've lost, people that mean a lot to me. I could tell you about being in situations human beings weren't built to endure. But here I am, defying all the odds. So when I say it gets better, I _know _what I'm talking about."

Well, that does put some things into perspective.

"I don't mean to trivialise what you've been through, but I do have some idea what it's like to lose people. They may not be dead, but they're as good as that to me. Think Lilly ten times over. Emotional scars are sometimes as bad."

"If you let them run your life."

What Rodriguez said made me think. The darkness hasn't completely lifted, but I don't feel as numb as I did before. I still don't see my usefulness to RangeMan. So much has changed since I came here, I'm not sure I can add much value anymore.

When we get back, I decide to take the rest of the day off. When I get upstairs, thankfully I'm by myself. I feel emotionally bruised and drained. I think Ranger is right, I'm not strong enough to handle what's going on. I never was. I'm just admitting it to myself for the first time.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I open my eyes to Ranger. He's sitting beside me on the couch.

"None of this means anything if you're not here when its over," he says.

"I'll be here."

"When we took on Garcia, it wasn't supposed to be such a large problem and so complex. But it turns out it is. We can't back out now."

"I'm not debating that. Why do you keep bringing it up?"

"I know you feel trapped in here. But life will go on after this."

"I know."

"Then why do you keep leaving?"

"When I went back to my place I told you I needed time to think. At the time I thought I had the full picture of this life. But I didn't. Not even a small fraction. Trying to hide things from me won't make me feel better about it. I know now that I'm not strong enough to handle it. You're right. I do fall apart."

"But it's not always like this. There are threats, but usually easily manageable."

"Working with Blackstorm will change that. There will always be threats and some will get unmanageable."

"We get to choose the missions we go on."

"They're always dangerous."

"It's better than the military. You don't get to choose, you just follow orders."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?"

"I'll always make sure that you're safe."

"While I wait for the call that you're not coming back. You say I'm always leaving, but did it ever occur to you that you do the same thing? You disappear for long periods. If you get killed out there, I'll be left behind to deal with that. You think it's different, but it feels the same to me. I feel just as abandoned. Try to see things from my point of view for a change."

He thinks about that for a while.

"So what do we do about that?"

"I don't know. Like you always say, it's the way it is. I don't think you can just hit the pause button on us because you're busy, though."

He doesn't say anything, he just looks at me.

"I don't think –"

He interrupts me with a kiss. That feels pretty good. Just what I needed. I'd started to forget what it feels like to be with him. Then another kiss, deeper, stronger. Soon I can't stop, he's opened the floodgates. I feel a hunger and passion for him that I've never experienced before. It's like I can't get enough. I grab on to him, give all of myself and he responds with a tenderness that dissolves the fear, the pain the confusion. He makes me remember why I'm addicted to him. It's explosive. Afterwards I hang on to him tight, shaking. He holds me and I feel secure, knowing how much he loves me. It may sound cliché, but I wish we could stay suspended in this moment forever.

The next day I come up with an idea. A compromise. Maybe this could actually work. What's the plan for RangeMan's security clients outside of Blackstorm? There isn't one. They're actually getting a little ignored. Maybe I can grow that area again, get back to what we originally intended. I would have to get a sales team all over again and more staff, but we could do this. We have no shortage of demand out there. I can't add anything of value to the Blackstorm side anyway.

I tell Ranger about my idea, he likes it and he says I can go ahead. Rodriguez on the other hand, doesn't like the plan.

"I thought you'd be for it," I say to him, "you'd run the Blackstorm side of the business, which would be the bigger part anyway, wouldn't that be a good thing?"

"That would be like splitting the company in two."

"I think of it as _growing_ the company. Just like building out another arm."

He's not convinced.

"How would we divide the men? Do we have enough space in the building for two sets of teams?" He asks.

"It'll just have to work."

"We've worked hard to get everybody operating like one unit, this might divide us."

"That's _exactly_ the problem! You're just replicating the army here. The truth is that some of us _don't like it_. It was OK at first when we were preparing for an attack, but now it's gone too far. Look around! Almost everybody that was here when I got here is gone except for the people with military backgrounds. It may be comfortable for you, but we civilians want something else."

This is the first time I actually feel like I'm getting my point across.

"I think we need to decide what kind of company this is, because if it keeps going like this, there's no place for me here."

He reluctantly accepts the idea, but it doesn't go down well in RangeMan. Most of the guys don't like it. They're used to working together as a tight team and they're convinced this will break them up. It starts a huge argument about the direction of the company and what we're about. I suggest that we build out another team. They hate that even more. They feel it will create competition between them and working at cross purposes with each other. There's no pleasing these guys.

So I ignore them and press on with my new project. I'm going to have to wait until Ranger has more time to help me, but at least I can start getting the groundwork done.

Rodriguez isn't at all happy about it. He doesn't even try to hide his displeasure. I get zero cooperation from him.

"What's your problem?" I ask him finally.

"You're splintering RangeMan off into pieces."

"What I'm doing isn't affecting our day to day operations in any way."

"But nobody wants this."

"Actually, quite a few of the guys have told me that they're starting to like the idea. Not everybody is thrilled with the idea of having to run off every so often to some Godforsaken place doing who–knows–what for Blackstorm. Some like having the option of staying put."

"And some feel you're divisive."

I sigh. I remember when I used to care a little bit too much about what they thought.

"Well they're entitled to their opinion, it's a free country."

A thought hits me.

"I take it that you're in the camp that doesn't want things to change."

"It's fine the way it is."

"What are you so worried about?"

He doesn't respond. Whatever it is, it's stressing him out quite a bit.

"You can have this whole place to yourself eventually. Maybe this new branch will move. Go to a different building. You guys will have the space to do whatever you want."

That seems to upset him even more.

_Whatever._ You just can't please everybody. I think it's a good idea and I'm running with it. As long as I have Ranger's support, I'm good.

It's amazing how my mood has lifted! I have direction and purpose now. I feel lighter and happier. Added to that Ranger has been making more time for me. I see him more often now, he's not back, but he's around.

I'm surprised that I haven't had to fight hard for my idea. In the end, the men came around. It wasn't as divisive as they thought after all. Once Rodriguez saw I was serious and wouldn't give in, I eventually got his support.

"I'm glad you finally came around to giving this a fair chance," I say to him. I could probably do it on my own, but it would be a lot easier with his help.

"I didn't have a choice."

"Ranger talked to you about it?"

"No."

"So what changed your mind?"

"If you didn't get to do it you were going to leave."

"No I wasn't. I may have suggested it, but I wasn't serious."

"I could tell you meant it. I still don't feel the answer is to break us up in two."

"Why do I get the feeling that you're worried about more than what you're saying."

He's quiet for a bit.

"I just think we work well together, I don't think we need to split off into separate units."

"Wait a second. When you say 'we', do you mean you and me?"

He pauses for a bit.

"Yeah."

Not the answer I was hoping for. This could be a problem. There's a thin line between friendship and more than that and I think we're there.

"You _do_ know what you're suggesting, right?"

"I'm not suggesting anything."

I give it some thought. Maybe we should just get everything out in the open. Clear the air. I've been in the mood for that lately. It seems to work.

"We need to be clear on this. We're friends and I'm you're boss, _that's it_. We can't be more than that. You already know this. If it's going to be a problem, maybe we should split the department, go in two different directions and don't overlap each other. That way we don't have to work together at all."

He doesn't respond.

"Rodriguez, you've helped me more than you know. I'm so grateful for that. You know that I care about you, but as a friend. I just don't understand how you can't see how incredibly complicated and dangerous it can get to even _suggest_ there's more to it than that."

He doesn't say anything, he just walks away.

_Jesus Christ._ Does he have any idea what he's doing?

The really frightening part is, somehow I feel this isn't over.

I think about it and I realise I understand how Rodriguez feels. This can be a pretty lonely life. Plus after Lilly… I'm beginning to feel like we're going to be dealing with the after effects of her for years to come. I wish I could help. I don't know anybody that'd be his type that I could introduce him to who can handle this kind of life. Hell, _I'm_ barely hanging on and I'm really making an effort. I don't think it's fair for me to kick him to the curb just because he's going through a rough patch. He was there for me when I needed a friend and I plan to return the favour. I just need to find a way to do it without it getting too messy. Two alpha males tangling can't end well.

A few days later Ranger walks into my office all smiles. I look at him with a critical eye, analyzing the look.

"What?" he asks.

"Trying to decide if a smile fits you. It does, you should wear it more often."

It reminds me of my mother's comment that I don't seem to smile much anymore.

"So what's making you so happy?" I ask.

"We finally bagged Garcia."


	20. Reconciliation

**Reconciliation**

"What do you mean we've got Garcia?"

"He's being arrested as we speak."

I can't believe my ears. What I wouldn't give to see that. He's been the bane of my existence for so long, it's hard to believe this is happening.

"And we're stuck in _here_? I wanna see it live! Let's go –"

"You're going to have to wait until the evening news. The last thing we want is to be caught in the same video frame with him."

The news hits RangeMan like a drug high. There's a sense of euphoria that just hangs in the air, infecting everybody.

Later we set up a large screen and everybody gathers around it to watch the evening news. We wait impatiently through the commercials for the segment to start, then there he is, in handcuffs being led out of the station. There's whooping, cheering and pandemonium. Ranger is slightly more subdued about it.

"Here comes the hard part," he says to me quietly, "if the charges don't stick, we're done."

I hear that Lilly's out and about. After her ordeal she took off and didn't look back. It turns out she was at RangeMan the entire time. Garcia seems to have suspected it, probably one of the reasons for his attack. I guess it backfired because she heard and felt everything during the attack; she must have been terrified not understanding what was going on. I'm pretty sure she had no clue where she was.

I think I understand why Ranger got so angry when he saw me in the basement. There were a lot of secrets there; war rooms set up with strategic maps and tactical scenarios. It was an intense operation. It was literally where he lived. I actually feel kind of sorry now for giving him such a hard time. How could I have known? He was trying to protect me, but I think he went too far. It's too much to ask someone to put on a blindfold and walk into battle just trusting their team.

After Garcia was arrested, Mike came out of hiding and hung out with us in the apartment for a couple of hours. Seems like he and Ranger are slowly rebuilding their friendship, they spent a bit of time reminiscing about the past and catching up on their lives. I'm not quite sure but I think I may have heard Ranger laugh once or twice when I went to get more beer. Who knows, maybe it's just my imagination. Mike's heading back home, but he plans to come back to testify against Garcia. I really like him, he's a genuinely nice guy. We promise to spend some time with him and in family when this is all over.

Garcia has been charged with racketeering, extortion, and accessory to murder. Looks like the video of him beating the cop was too much to take, so his own cops turned on him and helped to supply evidence. He's facing a minimum of twenty five years. We're trying to get work done in between watching the Garcia reality show unfold on TV. There is a general sense that the charges are going to stick, but we can never be too sure.

The situation with Rodriguez is getting significantly worse. I didn't realise how close we had gotten and it's quickly becoming a source of friction. We're arguing practically non-stop. I don't know how much longer we can work together like this. I still haven't figured out what to do about it, but I need to come up with something fast before Ranger gets involved. He was distracted before, but with Garcia now under wraps, he's very aware about what's going on in RangeMan. My fear is that Rodriguez is going to do or say something crazy and put us all in a very difficult position.

Just when I think working with Rodriguez is getting impossible and I'm going to have to make some hard decisions, everything changes. He's dating again. I meet his new girlfriend one day at lunch. She works for one of our competitors and is thankfully nothing like Lilly. She's quite young and very pretty. Not that Lilly isn't pretty, but in a different way. I didn't think he'd have a problem finding someone, he's a good looking guy – his problem is finding somebody that will stick around. They look good together, I hope it works out. I'm very happy for him and glad that we can finally get back to being friends again. I really missed that.

I tell him later that I'm here for her if she needs me, I'm thinking that I wish I had someone that could've guided me though some of my rougher patches and help me avoid some mistakes. Maybe it might help if she has somebody to talk to when things get rough. It takes a lot of work and commitment to maintain a relationship with the kind of hours we put in and risks we face. I make a mental note to keep that in mind when we get busy and to make sure he gets time off to spend with her.

So I treated myself to a super cute Porsche Boxter. After all I've been through, I think I deserve it. I can't wait to take it for a spin. Connie's back so I figure we can take a trip. I call her to catch up and arrange a visit to Point Pleasant but she's kind of distant, I can tell by her tone that she's not that interested. I think we have more in common than she knows, but I'll give her some space to come to terms with things. I can understand after her ordeal not feeling very sociable right now so I accept a rain check.

Before I know it Rodriguez has ditched the last one and now has a new girlfriend. I won't even bother to meet her even though he's convinced that she 'definitely the one' after dating her for two weeks. This rebound thing that he's on is just too painful to watch.

I hear Morelli's back in town. I feel like I should call him, but what would I say? His not being around allowed me to move on and I'm not sure I want to talk to him right now. He hasn't called so I guess he feels the same way.

One day after lunch I'm feeling restless. Ranger's busy as usual, I'm not in the mood to visit my parents or hang out a newly restored Vinnie's. The mood there seems to be a little on the gloomy side and I've already had more than my fair share of that recently. I've got nobody who's willing, or for that matter want to take on a ride with in my new wheels and there's no point in going alone. Awesome. I have this great car and nobody to share it with. I decide to pick up back my old gun range habit. I've slacked off a bit after the attack; the last thing I needed was a reminder of what went on that night. Now that I feel better and Garcia's out of the picture, I think I'm ready to get back to it. I may even take a look at some of the weapons Ranger introduced me to that I hadn't gotten comfortable with. At least it's empowering.

Unfortunately I don't get the usual buzz from the range and I don't even bother with the weapons. I need a new hobby. Without the huge risks hanging over my head, it just doesn't do it for me anymore. I guess Ranger was right; it does get dull here sometimes.

When I get back to the office, I take one look at Rodriguez and I know something's up.

"What's going on?' I ask him.

"You're not going to believe this," He says.

"What?"

He pauses for a second. Whatever it is, it's big.

"Garcia's gone."

That knocks me back for a second.

"What do you mean _gone_?"

"Disappeared. Poof. Nobody has any idea where he is."

"How is that possible?"

"Not clear on the details, but he was being transferred back to jail from court, they took him in an ambush."

I think about that for a second.

"I hope –"

"We had nothing to do with it."

"You're sure."

"Believe me, if we were going that route, we'd have dealt with him a _long_ time ago."

"Do you think the Mob took him?"

"Who knows? It's anybody's guess."

He has a look that tells me he knows more than he's saying. I'm going to ask Ranger about this later. I'm so tired of being kept out of the loop. I ask Rodriguez about that.

"Why do the guys keep so much from me? Do they feel that I'm too weak to handle it?"

"To protect you. Nobody thinks you're weak."

"Protect me from what?"

He thinks about it a bit.

"The harsh realities, I guess."

I'm waiting for him to continue, even though he looks a little uncomfortable. If it was Ranger, he'd just not answer if it's gets too problematic. I've learned I can prod Rodriguez a little more.

"What do you mean?"

He sighs.

"There's a price to pay for doing certain things. It can mess with your head. Emotionally. You learn not to put other people through that unnecessarily."

"Not everybody is strong enough to handle it?"

He's getting more uneasy by the second.

"If you had a painful experience, would you want to put someone you care about through the same thing?"

I think about how much I keep from my family, especially my mother. I guess he's right. It's not that I don't think she can handle it – even though I'm not sure to be honest – but why burden her with things she can't do anything about? Or worse yet, change her from the harmless, trusting person that she is, or make her worry? Once I told Ranger I wanted to be like him and he said I should just try to be better version of myself. Is that what he meant?

"So is that why you're all so tight? Like a support group for each other?"

Lord knows, I could use one.

He's taken aback for a second. He's not sure how to answer.

"We've got each other's back, if that's what you mean. We understand what we all have to deal with."

It wasn't what I meant, but I'll take it. I guess I've gone as far as I can go with this conversation.

"Wanna take a ride with me in my new car?"

"Why don't you take one of your girlfriends?"

"Nobody's available right now."

"Guess you're on our own."

"But –"

"No."

I've been wondering about what happens now. I guess life will never go back to normal. What is normal at RangeMan? I've found I like being around the guys, it's different from what I expected. When I just came, I wanted to be accepted as a member of the team. Now it seems like I have, just not in the way I expected. I always have the sense that they've got my back, as they keep reminding me. They're a close group, they'd give their life for each other and for me. As things settle down and our roles don't intersect as much, I'm finally getting a chance to see where I fit in. They see it as their duty to protect me, I try to make it easier for them by making sure the back office runs smoothly and doesn't become a distraction. One thing I know for sure is that when the crap hits the fan I can always count on them to get things done no matter what.

I've finally accepted that I've taken on too much. I have too many areas to manage and I'm falling behind again. I talk it over with Ranger and he agrees that its time to give Rodriguez more responsibility and let him run his own intelligence division, reporting directly to Ranger. He'll partner with Blackstorm's intelligence team when we're working on operations for them, outside of that his team will manage the IT aspects of the security side of RangeMan. Rodriguez was right in the end, it did split us up. We won't be working together as closely anymore.

He's happy about the promotion, but has his own ideas about how we divide up the responsibilities.

"I don't need to handle anything that involves interacting with clients," he says, "I don't want to. That's your kind of thing. And I don't want to have to meet with Blackstorm. They seem to like working with you and Ranger."

I remember his efforts to calm the office staff during the attack. He's right; he's not great when it comes to dealing with people. None of the guys are. That's why that always seems to fall in my lap.

"I can't do any more," I counter, "Do you realise how much I'm doing? Anything outside of field ops automatically drops squarely on my shoulders. All the paperwork for clients. All the paperwork for everybody who works here – salaries, vacation leave, etcetera. Managing Ella and her team, the cafeteria, building maintenance. Maintaining the Blackstorm contract. Now I'm trying to build out a team to get new clients. Every day Ranger adds something new to my list of duties. I can't do it all."

We hash it out for a while and finally come to solution we're happy with. He'll help me hire and build out my team and take on some of the office stuff, while I'll deal with anything and everything that involves meeting with clients and Blackstorm. So there we go, working together again. With this arrangement, we'll constantly overlap, we need to know what's going on at all times in both our areas so we don't end up working at cross purposes with each other.

"Why do I get the feeling that you wouldn't stop until you got us working together," I comment.

"We make a good team."

The truth is that I'm at the point that I can't function without his help anyway, so there's no use fighting it. When he was off recuperating I felt things unravelling. It led to my ending up in the basement, having a fight with Ranger and I almost left RangeMan. Like he said, I should know my limits. Besides, he's a great friend I can bounce things off when I need some advice. Although I've found even that has its limits.

Later I ask Ranger about what's going on with Garcia.

"It's out of our hands, Babe," He says.

"It doesn't make sense. How can he just disappear? What's going on?"

"Who knows."

That's exactly what Rodriguez said. I try a different tactic.

"Are we in danger?"

"Unlikely."

"But you said that if the charges didn't stick we'd be done."

"Things have changed."

I want to go on a whole tirade about being kept in the dark and nobody telling me anything, but I don't bother. Been there, done that, bought the shirt. It only creates a lot of stress, mostly for me. If I can't squeeze anything out of Rodriguez I sure as hell won't get anything out of Ranger.

"You sure he's not coming back for us," I say, making one last effort.

He sighs, probably wondering why I won't just let it go.

"Babe, he's probably off somewhere with his ill gotten gains sipping pina coladas. We're not at risk right now, so don't let it stress you."

I give up.

I see my opportunity to get some info the next day. Rodriguez needs me to meet with Blackstorm about the new project. If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to drag something out of him.

"I'm sure you can handle one little meeting," I say, unconcerned.

"But we agreed," he insists, looking slightly worried.

"I'll come with you if you tell me what you know about Garcia."

"That wasn't part of our agreement."

"Not my responsibility. You can tell Ranger you didn't want to meet with them. You're the technical expert."

He looks stressed and lets out a huge sigh. He's quiet for a while.

"He cut a deal."

"With who?"

"Somewhere far up the food chain. Don't know the details."

"Wouldn't he have to give up somebody else to get a deal?"

"I guess so. Look, we knew this was bigger than us, we just didn't know _how_ big. This is _way_ above our heads."

"So he just walks."

"I don't think it's over, not by a long shot. We –"

He stops himself, probably trying to decide how much to say.

"If we're going to hear about it, we'll know soon enough. So how about that meeting?"

"OK. Let's go." I've twisted his arm enough for today.

The meeting with Blackstorm went well. I'm glad I went because Rodriguez isn't really very comfortable around people. He talks about his area of the project quite well, he gets very excited and you can tell he's passionate about it, but outside of that he pretty much freezes. It makes me wonder how he manages to pick up women. I can't picture him approaching somebody he likes. Maybe they pick _him _up.

"What?" He asks.

We're on our way back and I didn't realise that I'm smiling to myself.

"Nothing. Just pleased it went well."

What I'm really thinking is that it's hitting me for the first time that he's actually a bit shy. That's quite funny. These guys are so tough and dangerous, yet when you scratch the surface, they're kind of emotionally vulnerable. They can face down the toughest opponent, but have the hardest time connecting with people. Who knows, maybe it's a side effect of years of building up such a tough exterior.

I feel like I've made a bit of a breakthrough. I'm seeing Ranger differently, looking at him through new eyes. I'm understanding why it feels like sometimes we're not communicating; when things get emotionally uncomfortable for him, he just shuts down. He's been really making an effort for our sake and I'm just realising how hard it's been for him. I'm used to talking about how I feel, he's not.

We're lying in bed, content after a wicked bout of lovemaking when he finally opens up.

"So what happens now?" I ask him, "now that our main threat is gone. Where do we go from here?"

He gently strokes my hair.

"I don't know, jet off into the sunset, get hitched, who knows. I hear Jamaica's great this time of year."

_Wait. What?_

I turn over and face him, looking him straight in the eyes.

"What did you just say?"

He's all smiles.

"You heard me."

"But you said –"

"I do change my mind about things. Occasionally."

I'm still in shock; I don't know how to respond. So many thoughts are bouncing around my head. Surprisingly, I'm petrified. What if I make a mess of things? What if it doesn't work out? Honestly, I'm not sure I want to get married again.

He seems to read my thoughts.

"It's going to be OK, we'll make it work."

"So I take it you're going on the mission to Jamaica for Blackstorm. You've got it right that I'm coming with you," I say, trying to change the subject.

"Well, I figured we could kill two birds with one stone."

I can't help but laugh.

"That's a practical way to look at it."

"You still haven't answered my question."

I feel the fear latch on to my heart and squeeze hard. Despite that, I already know my answer.

"Let's do it."

THE END

* * *

This was so exhilarating! I really enjoyed writing this story. I must thank Janet Evanovich for the inspiration to get me started. I can't thank you enough for reading and giving comments, it helped motivate me to continue. This is by no means over. The story is still playing out in my head; I just drop in every now and then to see what's happening with the characters and record the events to share with you. There was so much rich detail I had to leave out (you got the summarized version), that I think I'd like a chance to really flesh out my own characters (inspired by this one) and see where it goes.

I've decided to try my hand at an e-novel. It will be about a couple who own a successful security firm travelling to the Caribbean with their team on assignment to extradite some dangerous characters back to the US. Since I lived in the Caribbean for years, it should be a lot of fun to write and have a strong dose of intensity. Caribbean people are very witty and entertaining, some great characters should come out of this.

I think it will take me a while - maybe several months to complete. I'm looking forward to the new adventure! I would love your support. Wish me luck!

I'll keep in touch.

Feona


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